Random thought

rainbowprism · Jun 6, 2004

Ok so I was kinda down on myself today for not having a S/O in my life yet. And then I realized that because I am a strong, Christian woman not just anybody would do...they would have to be someone pretty freakin' special to be good enough for me. My point is there is nothing wrong with you if youre still single...God just had to prepare someone to be able to fully appreciate you.
I had a silly little dialouge in my head (you ever get those, where you actaully answer yourself?-eh maybe it's the Big Guy, sometimes its hard to tell) here it goes:
Me: "There is someone out there for you."
Me2: "I'm not getting any younger. I've been waiting forever! Where is he?! I'm READY!"
Me: "Maybe he's not ready yet"
Me2: (silence)

So like I said random thoughts...maybe they'll help.

songz777 · Jun 6, 2004

Rainbow, i been waiting forever to your only 23 yrs im 41, Ive been waiting since I was 22 yrs old, I wonder if any one has been waiting longer than me lol.
Bless you john

oldrooster · Jun 6, 2004

I have only been waiting 3, so I cannot complain I guess....

songz777 · Jun 6, 2004

Rainbow your quite right in what you say, for the more we grow in our faith the deeper our love for Jesus, then the more commited our spouse will have to be to be spiritually compatable, its a bit tight really coz the more you love Jesus it seems the less options you have of finding someone, but the more lovelly such a person will be.
Bless you JOHN

Beauty4Ashes · Jun 7, 2004

i just came to the same realization this last month also...almost in the same way you did...wow! When I get married, the man needs to be the spirtual head, and not to sound proud and no offence to most men I know, but there are very few I can think of who's faith and walk with God appears strong enough to lead mine deeper. Yea, options totally diminish the closer I get to God. But I've had enough of relationships where the man is behind my level of faith and walk with God. I either end up compromising and letting them lead me in wrong directions or something to that extent. anyways thanks for the post. You are not alone

joeman1 · Jul 1, 2004

I think the same thing almost everyday. what makes matters worse is that where i work there isn't very many people living the way that they should be and the ones that are are already married so that leaves me in quite a spot. take tonight for instance there is one woman who is pushing the envelope in the dress code. when i see that it reminds me that is not the type of person that i would want to be with for the rest of my life

KeilCoppes · Jul 1, 2004

And there's also the question - do you really understand what means to be ready to be married to a real person? Or are you simply ready to be married to your dream? A lot of those I've seen in the past didn't understand the difference.

Being ready to be married to a real person means that you're ready to go beyond your dream (which no-one will ever entirely match) and commit to love a real person for what he (or she) is. It means that you know and can express what you're looking for, beyond a dream of a feeling. It also means you've mentally packed your bags and are ready to go. It means making a commitment to a person who will not perfectly fill all your dreams as much as he may commit to trying. It means making a commitment in faith before God for their good no matter what it may cost you because it is for their good. Are you there yet?

caitlincares · Jul 1, 2004

Being SINGLE is not a disease!

We ARE okay.

We ARE whole people.

hischildsindik · Jul 1, 2004

Bags packed and sitting by the door.

It's so true, it's easy to think you're ready for love and marriage, but have you hit the hard stuff of reality. No matter what we may think, reality is always not as pretty as what we dream up. I know for me the waiting has been fruitful, and for that I thank God. I might dream, but I keep my feet on the ground and with God's help the blinders off.

You are so right Caitlin, being single is not a disease, although sometimes in the "couples circles" we can get treated like one. And I know I am okay, because my okay-ness is based on Christ alone. I might have moments of struggle where I might not think I'm okay, but thr truth is I am because of what Christ did on the cross, because of His ultimate love for me. And you are right about us being whole, as we are single. We all, married or single, need to be whole people. If a person goes into a relationship when they are broken and not whole it doesn't balance out. Because in God's equation 1+1 [+1 (God)]=1 when it comes to marriage, just as 1 [+1 (God)]=1 in unmarriedness.
God bless!
Cindy

KeilCoppes · Jul 2, 2004

hischildsindik said:
Bags packed and sitting by the door.

(smile) My bags are sitting by the door as well. I walk by them from time to time and find they weren't as close to the door as I thought. So I move them up and go back to watching for the door to open as I do other things. The strange thing is that the shape of the door keeps changing and it keeps getting smaller.

I suppose this has a parallel with entering by the narrow way - the more you've packed, the bigger the door has to be and the less likely you are to go through it. In the end I may end up with just my faith, my bible, a towel, a shaving kit, and the clothes on my back.... and the towel and shaving kit may well become optional. :^)

-------
"No matter what happens, hang on to your towel" -- Ford Prefect

2scoops · Jul 2, 2004

rainbowprism said:
Ok so I was kinda down on myself today for not having a S/O in my life yet. And then I realized that because I am a strong, Christian woman not just anybody would do...they would have to be someone pretty freakin' special to be good enough for me. My point is there is nothing wrong with you if youre still single...God just had to prepare someone to be able to fully appreciate you.
I had a silly little dialouge in my head (you ever get those, where you actaully answer yourself?-eh maybe it's the Big Guy, sometimes its hard to tell) here it goes:
Me: "There is someone out there for you."
Me2: "I'm not getting any younger. I've been waiting forever! Where is he?! I'm READY!"
Me: "Maybe he's not ready yet"
Me2: (silence)

So like I said random thoughts...maybe they'll help.

That just shows that you are not willing to go out with any guy and end up marrrying the wrong person. I applaud you for that. I know my dad's side of the family asks why I am single, but they just do not realize I need a christian girl that upholds the same values as me. They just want grand kids. I do have cousins and an older brother and sister, but some how to bring grandchildren in the family is my responsibility. Being single is not that bad. I would rather be single than in some bad marriage.

hischildsindik · Jul 2, 2004

KeilCoppes said:
(smile) My bags are sitting by the door as well. I walk by them from time to time and find they weren't as close to the door as I thought. So I move them up and go back to watching for the door to open as I do other things. The strange thing is that the shape of the door keeps changing and it keeps getting smaller.

I suppose this has a parallel with entering by the narrow way - the more you've packed, the bigger the door has to be and the less likely you are to go through it. In the end I may end up with just my faith, my bible, a towel, a shaving kit, and the clothes on my back.... and the towel and shaving kit may well become optional. :^)

-------
"No matter what happens, hang on to your towel" -- Ford Prefect

I definately agree with what you are saying. Truly only who we are is all that we can take into a ralationship, nothing more or nothing less. Personally, I wasn't really thinking of the "baggage" type of bags, as in all the yuck a person can take into a relationship. If I think of that one, it's more of a fanny pack compared to the U-Haul truck I would have had before. And even still that fanny pack is getting more and more empty. Thanks to God!

I was thinking more of the good things God places within us, the spiritual equipping. That, no matter the size of the door, will always be able to go through. And I want those "bags" to be filled to all they can be.

Glaz · Jul 2, 2004

2scoops said:
Being single is not that bad. I would rather be single than in some bad marriage.

Agreed, and considering how many marriages go badly nowadays your far better off taking your time and waiting. So many folks get married too quickly or too young, and you could write volumes about such people who wound up divorced a few years later. I would like to get married again someday but if I don't, hey, thats not going to make my life a failure. Now, if I didn't focus my life on God and His Will, then that would be the real failure.

2scoops · Jul 2, 2004

SoupySayles said:
Agreed, and considering how many marriages go badly nowadays your far better off taking your time and waiting. So many folks get married too quickly or too young, and you could write volumes about such people who wound up divorced a few years later. I would like to get married again someday but if I don't, hey, thats not going to make my life a failure. Now, if I didn't focus my life on God and His Will, then that would be the real failure.

Amen, brother

HoosierCanuck · Jul 2, 2004

It kind of relates to house hunting, which I am doing at the moment. My mum went with me to look at a house today and she made the suggestion that I NOT take this house just because it's all I think I can afford. I thought to myself "That is exactly why I'm not dating anyone either....I won't marry the first guy that comes along just because he may the only one to come along in ten years." Oddly enough, the house itself turned out to be like a lot of men I've met....cute on the outside....scary on the inside!!! ...NEXT!!!!!!

caitlincares · Jul 2, 2004

HoosierCanuck said:
Oddly enough, the house itself turned out to be like a lot of men I've met....cute on the outside....scary on the inside!!! ...NEXT!!!!!!

HA HA

KeilCoppes · Jul 2, 2004

hischildsindik said:
Personally, I wasn't really thinking of the "baggage" type of bags, as in all the yuck a person can take into a relationship. If I think of that one, it's more of a fanny pack compared to the U-Haul truck I would have had before. And even still that fanny pack is getting more and more empty. Thanks to God!

I was thinking more of the good things God places within us, the spiritual equipping. That, no matter the size of the door, will always be able to go through. And I want those "bags" to be filled to all they can be.

There are so many images (chuckle) - I was thinking of all the 'lists' and dreams that I had put on marriage and of the limiting things that were on the wider mailing lists. The more I go along, the more I realize the blessing that having a Christian wife at all is - and it's a great one. I'd be so glad if God brought that precious person that everything else would be gone. But if you're talking filled bags of good things to bring to a marriage, I'd like to have a moving truck!

hischildsindik · Jul 2, 2004

Yup... and the biggest moving truck we can get or even a semi-truck with full trailer... HA!

KeilCoppes · Jul 3, 2004

hischildsindik said:
Yup... and the biggest moving truck we can get or even a semi-truck with full trailer... HA!

(chuckle) So now you're talking about your wardrobe? If it's the spiritual wardrobe, that's fantastic! :^)

hischildsindik · Jul 3, 2004

KeilCoppes said:
(chuckle) So now you're talking about your wardrobe? If it's the spiritual wardrobe, that's fantastic! :^)

I was thinking along the lines for spiritual things as we had spoken of.

But if you want to talk about "stuff" I'd need an average sized U-Haul. Being single and on my own nearly half my life means I have a 'home'. And that means stuff. Much I could/would be willing to get rid of, but the sentimental things, nope, no way. I was talking to a friend of mine about the differences between a man and a woman and being single. He and I both were pretty much in consensus, a woman needs a 'home' and a (typical) man just needs some place to crash, no frills.

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