Question about divorce

McScribe said:

I apologize if that is the strongest impression, though I was trying to say that it SOUNDS like you don't care, not that you don't. So then why not add something in response to the OP that might be encouraging?

Just a thought--you do this extremely well when talking about addictions. I could not stress enough how compassionate, intelligent and helpful you are when I've seen you posting about sexual addictions or issues within marriage. You always in those posts focus on how God can heal and help us, offer broad minded looks at what can be helpful generally and encourage those who are struggling, whether wives or husbands, to feel encouraged. I can think of few other posters who do this as well as you do. You readily when it comes to that issue see past the smoke and dust to what the real problems are.

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And in this case, it is my opinion that what the problem really is, is the divorce itself. Or maybe more precisely, the attitudes many seem to have about it. I'm not suggesting that staying married and miserable should be the goal. But that itself shows one of the biggest and wrongest attitudes which is that the choice someone in a struggling marriage has is to either divorce or to remain miserable forever.

chaz345 said:

But that itself shows one of the biggest and wrongest attitudes which is that the choice someone in a struggling marriage has is to either divorce or to remain miserable forever.

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Personally, that was the VERY choice I had to make, and shamefully, it was unbiblical divorce. So I suppose this would constitute my attitude to be of the wrongest sort.

chaz345 said:

And in this case, it is my opinion that what the problem really is, is the divorce itself. Or maybe more precisely, the attitudes many seem to have about it. I'm not suggesting that staying married and miserable should be the goal. But that itself shows one of the biggest and wrongest attitudes which is that the choice someone in a struggling marriage has is to either divorce or to remain miserable forever.

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So let me see if I understand you: someone asks you if there is such a thing as good or bad divorce in the context of inquiring on behalf of someone who is in an emotionally abusive relationship as far as they are concerned. Your response is to state that there is no such thing as a good divorce, even though it may need to happen. Well, post what you like, we obviously don't see eye to eye on this. I won't comment on this again.

foodiepeep said:

Personally, that was the VERY choice I had to make, and shamefully, it was unbiblical divorce. So I suppose this would constitute my attitude to be of the wrongest sort.

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You've got a huge tendency to see the worst, most personally comdemning meaning in my posts. Meaning that's not there at all. Perhaps it would be best if you didn't read or respond to my posts anymore.

McScribe said:

I apologize if that is the strongest impression, though I was trying to say that it SOUNDS like you don't care, not that you don't. So then why not add something in response to the OP that might be encouraging?

Just a thought--you do this extremely well when talking about addictions. I could not stress enough how compassionate, intelligent and helpful you are when I've seen you posting about sexual addictions or issues within marriage. You always in those posts focus on how God can heal and help us, offer broad minded looks at what can be helpful generally and encourage those who are struggling, whether wives or husbands, to feel encouraged. I can think of few other posters who do this as well as you do. You readily when it comes to that issue see past the smoke and dust to what the real problems are.

Click to expand...

I

Sometimes I think what we do is fail to define "marriage" and to enter into it properly. If we enter into it improperly we are more likely to fail at it. I may desire
to be an attorney with all my heart, I may even be good at debate and have knowldege of the law, but I need to LEARN how to be a Good lawyer before I just walk into a courtroom & argue a case. The same is true of marriage, I need to know that it is more than an "ooy gooy feeling" for some man who makes me quiver & smile, I need to understand what I'm signing up for (kinda like the military-to SERVE & Protect) and understand this was DESIGNED to be more than a "civil" union, method to have children, or way to get a roof over my head,--I need to be able to BE a wife in order to have a husband. (not nearly as easy as it sounds).

It's a BIG decision-do not make it without due process, and do not expect God to bless some mess YOU made, without consulting Him.