Problems with my sexuality previous gay and lesbians help

harvester77 said:

Ok, So there you have it. Been more attracted to women forever. My ex is a Christian and refuses to read the scriptures that very clearly state that homosexuality between men or women are not allowed. It seems more people have a thing for two men together but believe me Lesbians and bisexual very much exist too. Nothing to do with bad relationships with men or abuse. In fact my ex had lots of male friends and two kids which she had before being saved and was very much lost and confused.

In fact she never really had a proper relationship with these men because she couldn't. it isn't a choice at all in fact if she could she would be with a man but feelings for women are stronger.

I on the other hand am looking desperately at being in a normal relationship with a nice man. Don't care for the sex at all. If I could change it I would. So you do not know how lucky you are to not have the curse.

I need God to cure me. I look at some men and think he is nice looking and all that but dont feel that desire. I know this is not normal.

Is it possible to be cured completely?

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Hello Harvester,
I am attracted to men (as a man) and I'm a Christian. I believe, through the Word of God, that homosexuality is a sin (Romans 1). I don't know yet if it's truly "curable". As you said, it's not a choice. You are not responsible for being a homosexual, but you are responsible with what you do with it. I am learning to have the 3 men in the furnace attitude with my sexuality. I believe God can cure me and set me free of this disgusting perversion, but even if He doesn't will I still follow and love Him the same? Those men in the furnace said, "“If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. “But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” (Daniel 3:17-18). I have not gotten to this attitude completely, but God is slowly doing this work in my heart.

I encourage you to stay ACTIVE in the Word and prayer. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Keep building that relationship with Him, but not for Him to rescue you from your sexuality. Give God glory always, for He is worthy.

(waves hand in air back and forth) I have been trying to say that you don't have to live with homosexuality forever. If you are suggesting that you must stop being tempted to be "cured" then you have a very flawed view of what "cured" means. If you think "because I am tempted by homosexuality, I must be homosexual" then you have just believed a lie. Being tempted by homosexuality does not make you a homosexual just like Jesus being tempted by sin does not make Him a sinner.

I am homosexual by nature, but I am happily married with four children. It isn't easy, there has never been a physical attraction to my husband, but in the long run that isn't really what matters. I love him, maybe not in the way I 'should'... but there are as many types of love as there are couples, and ours works.
I stil have the feelings, and the temptations of my sexuality, even after many, many years of praying for change. So, I can't say that God will take it away for you - He can, and He may, but if He doesn't you can still have what you call a 'normal' relationship.
Praying for you, and if you want to chat privately, please PM me.

It's hard when a a 'natural' inclination can lead to wrong behaviours. Many heterosexual men find this with pornography. Whatever the reason you feel as you do, you must attempt to cultivate alternative ways of thinking rather than allowing some thoughts and urges to direct you. This is not suppression eitherm which is unhealthy, but a matter of building up alternatives in your thinking and behaviour. That's what Criada has done.

Just don't beat up on yourself unnecessarily. Be positive and constructive. The Forum has many people struggling with aspects of living and who they are in other areas. You are not alone in being less than perfect!

Bless you
John
NZ

Sometimes culture dictates what we should do and how we should love.

But what does it mean to love at times? Sometimes, it's about leaving your own 'romantic' thoughts and feelings and turning to God's.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

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1 Corinthians 13:4–8a

So how about replacing all that word 'love' with God?

God is patient, God is kind. God does not envy, God does not boast, God is not proud. God is not rude, God is not self-seeking, God is not easily angered, God keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. God always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. God never fails.

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We are to follow God's good examples. God is love. Love can never be God because love is from God.

God is love.


Sometimes, you don't always end up with the one you hoped. For example, my grandparents were situated in arranged marriage. They didn't really 'love' each other in sense of today. But in those days, that type of 'love' was valued because you're loving someone that you totally don't know but would devote to for your whole life. And they still are married and care for one another very much so.

Another example's my friend. She wasn't in an arranged marriage situation, but when she met her husband for the first time, she thought he was annoying and immature. But now they're happily married. She realized that she was wrong, and that you have to learn to love in God's way. Sometimes you never know.


Praying for your 'future spouse' might be a good idea. I'm not saying you should hope for one. I'm just saying that you should pray for someone you don't know selflessly because who knows how he is and if he knows God or not? Pray that they are saved and that they serve the Lord the most. Selfless prayers are loving prayers that God likes to hear from you.