Praying with others/ praying aloud

Kayeliz · Mar 12, 2014

This is something I have been thinking about for a long time. As a child, I prayed aloud with the rest of my family - each of us would say a prayer in the evening. However, I sopped when I got older. At the age of 12 or 13, I did it once or twice in church, but then stopped.
The main reasons were that I always felt like I had to pray in a special way when I was praying aloud since the others all said more or less special prayers. I am not good at talking and couldn't pray honestly when I tried to say a good prayer.
Later, in my early 20s, I was working with a children's group in church for a while and was facing the same problem again. Everyone said a prayer, but me. I even wanted to, but I just couldn't.

An additional difficulty is the fact that for years I have been praying in English. I had this time as a teenager when I had a lot of English-speaking friends and I was really eager to improve my own English and so I started writing my journal in English, reading the Bible in English and praying in English. It took a bit of time to get used to it, but eventually, it kind of spun out of control, especially since the love of my life is a man who grew up in England and whose German is not as good as my English, so we speak English.

Right now, I can't really imagine praying in German anymore. I'm more or less bilingual in my daily life now, on some days I don't speak any German if I don't meet people at university or work. English seems to have become my language for the more personal areas of my life. Of course, if I wanted to pray aloud in front of other Christians now, it would either be in English or extremely artificial and not honest at all. Or I would need to answer lots of questions. In a way, I seem to be "done with praying aloud", it doesn't seem to me like I will be able to change that in the near future.
Does anyone know that? Do you think it is alright to pray in silence all the time or does that make me an unreal Christian?

standingtall · Mar 12, 2014

Kayeliz said:
Do you think it is alright to pray in silence all the time or does that make me an unreal Christian?

It's absolutely alright to pray in silence all the time.

Here's what Jesus had to say about the matter:

Matthew 6:5-15

5 And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

Willie T · Mar 12, 2014

Seien Sie nicht beunruhigt. God understands both languages. Even silence.

Kayeliz · Mar 12, 2014

God does, just humans don't, at least not here.

Willie T · Mar 12, 2014

Kayeliz said:
God does, just humans don't, at least not here.

Nor here. I have many friends who are Latin. They speak English well enough, but they are more comfortable praying in español. Often they will pray in the presence of others. They have learned to simply say, in English, "I'm going to ask for........." "¿Will you join me, silently, in your own understanding, as I pray?"

It actually seems to make the prayer even more intimate for all.

standingtall · Mar 12, 2014

Kayeliz said:
God does, just humans don't, at least not here.

That's the way it can get here, too. Don't worry about what others think. Some folks just think that outward displays of religiosity make Jesus happy. He's looking at your heart, not your bumper sticker, your t-shirt, your leather-bound bible, your cross necklace, or your ability to pray out loud.

retlaw · Mar 15, 2014

This is an interesting subject and as others have stated prayer silently is certainly heard by God. When God looks at prayer he looks at the heart. If you are fake, he knows it, if you are sincere, he knows it.

I wanted to learn more about prayer myself so about a year ago I joined the prayer team at church. Luckily they didn't ask for my prayer resume cause I didn't have one.

It's been a great experience. I've learned a lot and I've seen some things happen I'm not sure if I would have believed before. The one thing about praying out loud is that it can display an earnest desire and determination to God. It says I'm not afraid for others to know I'm a praying person. If it's something that fits the moment it can be effective, but any time your prayer is to draw attention to yourself you're off the mark.

It's actually easy to get caught up in the attention thing. I have to question myself sometimes, this prayer I'm about to pray out loud, is it for God or for me. I'm still building up my spiritual vision to know the difference. I think most of the time it turns out ok. In the end God knows I'm trying to get it right.

It can make a difference though. Our prayer leader is a serious prayer warrior. He came across a church member waiting at the pharmacy at Wal Mart, you know how crowded those places get. The church member stops him and asks him to pray for him. I don't know what they expected but he stopped what he was doing, laid his hands on the guy and prayed out loud in front of God and everybody. It made a huge impression on the church member and frankly everyone. I'm sure it made an impression on the folks at Wal Mart as well. There is something about being bold for God when the time is right.

JGiddings · Mar 15, 2014

Silent prayer is a wonderful, and fully acceptable thing to do.

I have been to churches where people think you are weird if you do not pray out loud. It's like they are saying "What's his problem?" You can see it in their faces.
Personal experience. I was in a prayer group, about 5 of us. They wanted to go round the table, and I'm just "not good" and praying out loud on the spot. I stumble and then don't make any sense. I felt out of place. I know that was a lot on me so I'm not blaming them.
So the next time I stated that I would like to pray silently and asked for them to join me. They gave it all of 10 seconds before the next person started.
Yeesh.

Bramwell · Mar 16, 2014

Lots of good, inspirational thoughts being shared here about prayer and sincerity.

I'm glad someone referenced what Jesus had to say about prayer; if we're following Christ, it's good to pay attention to what He had to say.

As mentioned above, Jesus said nothing against silent prayer. In fact, He encouraged just the opposite, telling us not to be like the hypocrites who love to pray out loud for others to hear. There's a pearl of wisdom in that teaching for all of us to consider.

The reality is that it's very hard to be completely sincere in our prayers to God if others are listening. To varying degrees, it's almost like we are praying for others to hear - not purely to communicate with the Father. Maybe that's why Jesus told us to go into our closets to pray, where no one else can see. (?)

Retlaw mentioned that praying out loud can show an earnest desire and determination to God. That may be true, but aren't there other ways to show desire and determination to God? Particularly other ways that don't contradict a teaching of Jesus?

Further, I am all for Christians being bold for Christ. Being bold in how they witness to people about Jesus, sharing the Good News. Bold in how they suffer disdain and reproach for His name's sake. Bold in their sacrificial love and charitable giving for the glory of God. But bold in praying in public - when Jesus told us to do the opposite? - I think there may be a better way to be bold for those of us seeking to follow Christ.

goxfiles · Mar 16, 2014

I personally prefer to do it quietly. That way, no one has to know what I'm praying about. It really isn't any of their business. That's my two cents. Actually, I feel uncomfortable doing it out loud - it's like broadcasting all of your problems out to the world (or at least to whoever's listening), and I don't like that. So I refrain from doing it out loud unless it's not about something private, which is rare for me.

Omena · Mar 16, 2014

I'm happy to hear of so many people advocating for silent prayer. It's a topic which I've clashed with many people on, because some church circles are firm about the need to pray out loud, or else we're lacking in faith or some other excuse. The fact is (which was pointed out early in this thread), that Jesus told us to pray silently to ourselves, so that's what I feel we should do as Christians. Perhaps the exception could be the lords prayer if some friends were to say that out loud together, but otherwise I feel prayer is between us and God.

The other interesting thing about that verse from Jesus is that he tells us not to pray out loud on street corners to be seen by other people. How many street preachers have you witnessed with a microphone doing that!?

goxfiles · Mar 16, 2014

Omena said:
I'm happy to hear of so many people advocating for silent prayer. It's a topic which I've clashed with many people on, because some church circles are firm about the need to pray out loud, or else we're lacking in faith or some other excuse. The fact is (which was pointed out early in this thread), that Jesus told us to pray silently to ourselves, so that's what I feel we should do as Christians. Perhaps the exception could be the lords prayer if some friends were to say that out loud together, but otherwise I feel prayer is between us and God.

The other interesting thing about that verse from Jesus is that he tells us not to pray out loud on street corners to be seen by other people. How many street preachers have you witnessed with a microphone doing that!?

I feel that you should do whatever works for you, within reason. I do it silently for reasons I stated in my other post: privacy and so people don't have to know when I'm doing it or what I'm asking for. I really do believe that prayer is between us and God, and others listening just doesn't sit right with me, unless in certain circumstances like you mentioned. Although some surveillance may be justified on Earth, when chatting with God we don't need any NSA of religion knowing what we need/want.

I haven't witnessed any preachers on street corners, but maybe that's because it is always cold where I am.

retlaw · Mar 16, 2014

Bramwell said:
Retlaw mentioned that praying out loud can show an earnest desire and determination to God. That may be true, but aren't there other ways to show desire and determination to God? Particularly other ways that don't contradict a teaching of Jesus?

Further, I am all for Christians being bold for Christ. Being bold in how they witness to people about Jesus, sharing the Good News. Bold in how they suffer disdain and reproach for His name's sake. Bold in their sacrificial love and charitable giving for the glory of God. But bold in praying in public - when Jesus told us to do the opposite? - I think there may be a better way to be bold for those of us seeking to follow Christ.

I think in the parable about public prayer jesus was talking about overly religious types who use god's house for personal influence, to get rich, and to get famous. That was very common at that time that Jesus lived. But to extend that parable to suggest we never pay audibly can't be right because Jesus prayed audibly all the time both in front of his disciples and the general public. Jesus always modeled exactly what we should be.

Certainly you can live an entire Christian life without praying one public prayer but I think there are situations that call for it. Especially when you are praying for someone. If I'm dying of cancer I want to hear some serous loud prayers on my behalf. Probably doesn't help God hear it, but it would sure make me feel like they gave their best effort.

As I stated earlier the human ego is a tough horse to break. It's never easy to be totally selfless. One has to constantly ask ones self if their motivations are pure.

JGiddings · Mar 16, 2014

I've noticed a lot of people who pray out loud seem to insert the words "oh God" or "God" a LOT. I guess that's a go to so they don't stumble verbally.

goxfiles · Mar 16, 2014

JGiddings said:
I've noticed a lot of people who pray out loud seem to insert the words "oh God" or "God" a LOT. I guess that's a go to so they don't stumble verbally.

Ha ha, yeah sometimes I stutter a lot when I'm praying silently... I think I'd sound like a fool if I had to do it out loud.

Bob Carabbio · Mar 16, 2014

"I always felt like I had to pray in a special way when I was praying aloud since the others all said more or less special prayers."

Which is EXACTLY the way satan wants you to feel - i.e. "you gotta do something outside your abilities for it to be right, or you'll look stupid". That's one of his favorite threats.

That's a LIE, of course.

You'll have to come to grips with that yourself, of course, but just a simple prayer that starts out "Hey God" is just as valid as a magnificent "Stained Glass Oration" - probably moreso, in fact.

A year ago, or so I was in the middle of an "Italian Beef" sandwich in the "Dog House" in Cedar Hill, TX, and the Spirit told me: "You need to pray for the owner that his business will improve". SO I continued with the sandwich, and the fellow with me said: "we need to pray for the owner about his business". That's Mat 18:

19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.

SO when we finished the meal, we went up, grabbed the owner at the cash register, told him that God had told us to pray for his business, and then did. Naturally we did it aloud in normal tones of voice (God's not deaf), and left (after he thanked us and shared some testimony).

Bottom line: if you feel that you SHOULD Pray aloud (for whatever reason), then just pray aloud, in a normal voice, and in normal language for the need as you understand it. And let the chips fall where they may. WHO CARES what the "Critics" think???

And if you DON'T feel that you should pray aloud, then don't.

I regularly pray for folks in my office at work, and it's always aloud (how can they agree with it if they don't know what I asked - 1 cor 14:16).

Oh, and the guy's business DID get better, and he was able to move to a better location.

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