I have no clue where to begin..I have decided to vent here on this forum tonight out of complete sadness and frustration and no where else to turn. Why this one I have no idea except that maybe others prayers would be of benefit I guess. I have been unemployed for the first time in nearly 20 years and now I have close to 60 days before losing my home of 23 years....SOB..There is so much that has been stressing me out. I haven't even made it to church in several months mostly because it is 30 miles away and I just can't afford it. I feel as though I have no right to pray for help when there are so many that suffer so much more horrific trials than what I have been facing. I pray. I read for inspiration and learning. I watch TBN for the same reason. I have to keep my fight and my spiritual strength up. So many years of fighting my husbands meth addiction and asking God for answers as to whether I was doing the right thing or not. Yet I have finally faced what I've known for a very long time. The truth that I am an ENABLER! I cannot help him at all the way I've been going. I finally asked him to leave 3 weeks ago. I feel that if we are going to make it he has to realize what he's about to lose after 30 years of marriage. What an evil thing meth is!!! Geez am I just rambling on about nothing here. I miss my pastor and his wife as well as many of my friends at the church. I have told them about my problems in my marriage but I have not fully share the full scope of my financial issues. Yes I know you can pick up a job at a burger joint but my unemployment pays more than they do and I am barely making ends meet with that. I have been attempting to find at least 2 jobs just to get the house payment caught up. I dont own a credit card. I do not care about clothing and shopping so that has no play in my problems. Merely trying to pay utilities and insurances and car/bank payment. There seldom is any left for groceries. Heaven help me when a car problem arises or like recently when the van plates expired and I had to fork that over. Father God I ask you to forgive me this day of whining and feeling so frustrated over everything. I have been putting one foot in front of the other for quite some time and occasionally have a rotten day like this one. I thank you each day for all of my blessings!