Hi everybody. Well....I'm a really confused person right now. I was in a relationship for a year, and I'm not sure if I'm BPD or he is or what has gone on. I've been talking to a clinical social worker, and she ruled out BPD for me, but I don't really get how, when I can see that I have at least five of the traits. Anyway...during my relationship, I got upset over a lot of really small things. I almost broke up with him over refusing to open doors for me. Stupid stuff. After we had sex...this was about nine months into our relationship...I had a lot of issues...guilt, etc. He broke up with me at the end of May but was seeing me every day and still telling me he loved me...kissing...etc. This was hard for me...I felt like I was being used...even though he said he was just "testing the waters" to see if things would get better. I would have these big freak outs and show up at his house even though he told me not to. The last time I did that, he called the cops on me and told me he never wanted to see me again. He'd said that before...but we haven't spoken in a week, and it's killing me. I don't think he's ever going to talk to me again, and I'm so scared. I'm not sure if he's BPD...he's been diagnosed bipolar, but I never saw that in him. He has had a failed marriage, and at the age of 28, he has been the one to end all of his relationships. He has a daughter he doesn't see or support. After he ends his relationships, he usually ends up going back to the person or asking them back. I seem to be the one with the real abandonment issues though. He was verbally abusive and did hit me a few times....all but one time, I hit him first though. I'm the first wife/gf he has ever physically hit. I am just so lost and confused...is any of this making sense? I don't hvae anybody to turn to...he was my only friend/support/family. I want so much for him to make contact with me. I have no clue what he's doing. I wonder if he's just going about his life...moving on...perfcetly happy. I should do the same, but I just can't. I don' t know what to do. Our relationship was so strong in the beginning...we were going to church, etc. Then, I was positive it was from God and meant to be. Now...things have just gone nuts and there's nothing I can do. I'm so scared he'll never speak to me again. Can anybody tell me anything?