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Please Help Lesbian who is Christian but so many issues

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tvans7

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I am 35 with a baby conceived my a donor. please do not judge or say I am going to hell. I am saved and been baptized and trying to live my life the Christian way. Pretending to be straight in Church and going to try and date men in the future. no sex before marriage etc.

I am so confused. I split up from my ex of nearly 3 years, it was her that brought me Jesus. She was born again but completely gay. I was horrible to her and she was constantly chatting to other girls on facebook saying she wa just helping them and they were just Christians etc. I am so confused it was sucha volatile relationship but I did love her and 9 months later miss. I told her to get out of my life in a really horrible way. Her last words are you are not a Christian. I am very much, I was heavily pregnant and fed up with her constantly on facebook and talking to other women yet accusing me of being the cheat.

I was not perfect either. Now a week after I told her to go away from my life, we were jut trying to be friends but I found this difficult. She has a new Girlfriend and writes on facebook how happy they are, how she met the love of her life. even though they must have just had one date and now they are together. They look so happy. She won't let me see the dog I bought, and told a friend of mine of that she had moved on, yet when I was with her she never had that level of respect when I was with her. She always checked on her exes on facebook. I blocked her. I know this is all unchristian but she did take me to church, introduce me to Christians if not for her maybe i never would have walked in to a church on my own like I did.

I am having trouble letting go. Its like satan is attacking my mind. I think she won the lottery, she is having a better life than me. This woman has everything more money. But my thing is I have agreat family, including my daughter God bless. and I may not have money but I have a heart. I bought loads of stuff, dining table,m TV, Dog, helped her with bills all the time. I know I said horrible things but she did too. I wish she would be my friend again. I have prayed but now this other woman on the scene. Should I write a letter or let it go and give it to God? I tried giving it to God but take it back and make myself miserable again.

Help please. Christian gays would love some advice.
 
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I wish I could tell you what to do. I am in a little bit of the same boat as you are. I am a gay christian too. I'm just coming back to faith after a long absence. My heart bleeds for you and your pain. In my opinion, you should let it go. Cry it out and pray. I'm trying to learn to let go of things too, because it is destroying my relationship with my partner. I hope I helped. Hang in there.
 
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ronea23

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Dear Tvans,

Greetings in the Lord Christ, You have hit the forum because He wanted to.

You have reached here to seek His message.

[BIBLE]Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.[/BIBLE]
Ro 12:2

A cultural drift had changed the mankind in orientation. None will say here "to go to Hell" coz no one has the rights, all are fellow humans.

I want you know, God created Man and Woman, as two indispensable beings.

[BIBLE]For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.[/BIBLE] Mt 19:5

Its we have chosen, and let ourselves cry in pain.Only the Healer can make you normal, but you need to ask, for its told "Ask and it shall be given".

Seek his mercy, kneel and pray that these hardships goes away and a better life to come upon.

In Jesus name Amen !

Regards,
Ronald

 
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keelercd

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you are very right to feel that Satan wants to attack you. I feel same in my life- mine is that I was fornicator and when I finally turned away from that sin, Satan another up his sleeve through pornography! The way I have been dealing with sin of reliving habits or such is first see if you can find a place for Christian counseling- be sure it is not some place where they dont judge the fact you struggle with homosexuality or that you tend to feel romantic feelings for this woman! Try to go where no one from your church knows, it is your own personal struggle- and others who may play the self righteous card-are in no position to guide and give advice. By talking to a counselor it helps you keep yourself accountable, why do feel a certain way, how you came to believe that you are a lesbian-and the ways that Satan uses the ultimate lie in telling that God didn't make you a woman but a man in a woman's body! by addressing this with someone who wants to listen, guide, and help you through your struggle- you may find yourself slowly getting closer to God in the way that you need him- do not seek any relationship with men or women romantically- it took 7 years for me to find a man that was right for me. Do not be alone with a man or a woman that you feel attraction too, don't let them in your apartment unless it is a church couple coming to visit, do not hang out with the same or opposite sex in their apartment, movies, coffee shop etc unless in a group and if you feel in anyway in danger of that person trying to come on to you, get out of there. Believe me that Satan loves to mess with your mind in many ways. He wants you to be hopeless! By all means write me if you need prayer!
 
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RuthD

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I know it's hard to let go but doing it One Day At a Time can make it easier. It sounds as if thinking of her really distresses you. Maybe you can find other things to think about instead of her like volunteerring with the homeless or hungry. You seem like a caring person who would be good doing that. I'm praying for you.
 
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tvans7

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Thanks for prayers and all advice. It is certainly uphill struggle but with some help from God I can do it. I am free in a sense and feel much happier than I ever did in a relationship but there are certain things I miss. Its probably more habitual things i.e someone texting you i love you, hugs, and all that you know. But if I wanted I could find someone, we all can but I will wait this time and heal, no rebounds etc and let God lead the way. I need to work on myself.
 
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Sri

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<edit> God will meet all your needs. Give this to him.
If you need help doing this maybe counseling would be good for you. A christian counselor. Anything to get your life right is worth it. Sometimes it helps to talk with someone about the things you've been through and get help.
 
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