I was doing ok. I was almost a normal person because I started saying "no" to my ocd. I started functioning normal. and I felt so relieved.
after midnight, I wanted to write something in reddit. I did. and I wanted to share the post here in the forum. I was going to copy-paste it, as I always do with other posts. ocd was not letting me. instead, of analyzing it. I said "no" "take that ocd!" and I rushed and copy-pasted my post from reddit in here. I did it many times in the past.
I started analyzing why ocd was warning me?
I remembered
yesterday, or the day before, I was in the forum or in reddit, and was warning myself or reminding myself like "maybe I should stop copy-pasting, and write what I want from zero, that sucks but it is easy to do."
why I had these thoughts? obviously, this warning was connected to other thoughts. thoughts about promises to God not to copy-paste again? compulsion from ocd not to copypaste again?
I do not remember. the warning was not out of randomness. there is a reason I warned myself, that day. I cant remember what was the motive behind this warning. why I warned myself? why I was anxious? what made me or my ocd to warn me? there were probably some older thoughts before the warning, but I do not remember them. since I cant remember them, I cant confirm if they were thoughts without my will or if it is a valid promise to God.
I started analyzing my thoughts about copy-pasting and the only thing I remember is this:
me writing a post in reddit and copypasting in this forum - gap - warning myself not to copypaste again.
what thoughts happened in the "gap"? why I cant remember them? I remember when warning myself I was anxious. not much. but I was anxious as if it is semi-serious. but I cant remember. I worry if there was a valid promise that I cant remember. I do not remember anything. no ocd about copypasting, no thoughts without my will. the only thing, I remember was the warning. but why I warned myself?
after midnight, I wanted to write something in reddit. I did. and I wanted to share the post here in the forum. I was going to copy-paste it, as I always do with other posts. ocd was not letting me. instead, of analyzing it. I said "no" "take that ocd!" and I rushed and copy-pasted my post from reddit in here. I did it many times in the past.
I started analyzing why ocd was warning me?
I remembered
yesterday, or the day before, I was in the forum or in reddit, and was warning myself or reminding myself like "maybe I should stop copy-pasting, and write what I want from zero, that sucks but it is easy to do."
why I had these thoughts? obviously, this warning was connected to other thoughts. thoughts about promises to God not to copy-paste again? compulsion from ocd not to copypaste again?
I do not remember. the warning was not out of randomness. there is a reason I warned myself, that day. I cant remember what was the motive behind this warning. why I warned myself? why I was anxious? what made me or my ocd to warn me? there were probably some older thoughts before the warning, but I do not remember them. since I cant remember them, I cant confirm if they were thoughts without my will or if it is a valid promise to God.
I started analyzing my thoughts about copy-pasting and the only thing I remember is this:
me writing a post in reddit and copypasting in this forum - gap - warning myself not to copypaste again.
what thoughts happened in the "gap"? why I cant remember them? I remember when warning myself I was anxious. not much. but I was anxious as if it is semi-serious. but I cant remember. I worry if there was a valid promise that I cant remember. I do not remember anything. no ocd about copypasting, no thoughts without my will. the only thing, I remember was the warning. but why I warned myself?