Other kids...

My Shadrach is an only child. He is usually pretty good. But the past week, he has been, I don't know what is going on. He is 20 months old, and last week we had to take him to a doctors appointment, and there was this kid in the waiting room that had this toenail curling scream. There was nothing wrong with him other than the fact that he was a spoiled brat. The parents did nothing to control him or to quiet him down. But this went on for like an hour. The whole hour, Shad was shaking like a leaf on a tree and was crying as was other kids in the waiting room. I mean, it was even hurting our ears, the screams were. Thankfully, the brat got called back. But still, a week later, if Shadrach sees a baby, he puckers up, begins to shake, and cries real tears.

What can I do when he does this? I mean, It breaks my heart to see this happen to him. I just don't know what I can do to help him "get over" this fear of other kids. Surely, this is not something that he will have to see a therapist for. I mean, the only thing that he does now is jabber, unless he thinks it is important, and then he will say what he thinks, but, I don't know.

What do all you experienced parents think about this scenario?

The reason he has not been exposed that much to other kids is because of his poor immune system. The doc's have told us not to take him into the nursery at church, and to definately not send him to daycare. he is going to be in the Christmas play, so maybe that will help a little. I hope that does help. We keep him out of the stores, too. So once again, he is not exposed to the brats in the toy department whose screams will wake the dead.

Most of the time, when you are in walmart, and an adult tells a kid, "No", they are being brats. Trust me, I used to work there.

Beautiful Fireball said:

I think changing your reaction would go a long way in how he responds to situation like that.

Also, it REALLY irritates me when I see people calling children names. It makes me feel bad for their children. And just because you saw kids acting out at walmart doesn't mean you are an expert on what makes a child "bratty."

Click to expand...

You know what iritates me? People who have never worked in walmart and have never had to put up with an hour in the docs office with a screaming kid, and then that adult denies reality that kids that are not kept under control are bratty. THAT is what irritates me. I mean, really. It qualifies as a brat when a parent says no to a kid in the toy department and the kid is still screaming his or her lungs out by the time that they are in garden center.
Sometimes my little angel gets mad at me when I have to take something away, but, two hours,45 minutes, or even 10 minutes later, he has gotten over it. Usually by the time that we have gotten off that aisle he has gone back to being the little angel that he is for a fact. It's funny that I can control my 20 month old, but parents cant control their 4 year olds. So it is either that our kids are superior or our parenting is superior. One of the two or a combonation of both.
My grandma had 8 kids. When they went to church or to the doctor, they sat and played quietly or they went to sleep under the pew or in the chair. There was no running of the isles. There was no screaming temper tantrums. If there was, it only took one trip outside and a green hickory switch to put an end to the mad fit.

So, yes, there is a very good possibility that Shad was just scared to death by a little brat that the parents had no desire to control. You didn't see my Shadrach, Elijah, Isaiah, Shaquan, or that other little girl in the corner doing anything but playing, coloring or drawing QUIETLY. So, I am not saying that we are the only good parents or that Shadrach is the only good kid. Other parents can do it. And little Elijah was autistic. Shaquan had a tube going into his belly to feed him. The other little girl in the corner had a treach(tube in her throat because she has problems breathing alone) The three of them had every excuse in the world to be screaming to the top of their lungs, but they werent. They were being good. There was nothing wrong with that other kid that was screaming besides the fact that he was just spoiled. That is all there is to it. There is no excuse, unless they do have a disability or are sick to be screaming. None at all. Simple as 1+1.

Of course if parents don't control the kids, that is not just the kids fault. It is mostly the parents. Maybe the tree huggers have a point. Don't cut down all the trees. Otherwise where will the green hickory switch come from to straiten out these little attitudes that every kid has at some point. Maybe if more hickory switches were used, the prisons may not be as full as what they are. Profound revelation

Yeah, that is if, IF they have disabilities. If you will read, other kids were the ones that had disabilities. I believe that an open heart surgery patient, a kid with a feeding tube, an autistic kid, and one with a treach are the ones that would be considered to have a disability. There was nothing wrong with that kid. All the others were little angels.

What sickens me it that nobody around these parts know the meaning of the word discipline. How can you all call yourselves good parents without at one timeor another having a little meeting in the woodshed?

There is no such thing as the terrible twos, by the way. If there is it is because your parenting, your child, or both are terrible. Tell me where the time clock is in the brain that says "OOH! I am two now. I get to start being a bad, bratty, spoiled rotten kid. I can get by with it, too because I'm two, now. Mama and Daddy are not going to punish me because I'm two. Just because I am two means that i can go and do anything I want. Rules no longer apply to me."

You can't tell me because it isn't there. The rules should apply just as much whent they are two as they do when they are 1 and when they are 12. No hitting. No fit throwing unless there is something really wrong. No throwing your toys around. You play quietly in church (In the sanctuary) and in the doctors office as you do when you are here at home. If you don't listen to me, you will go outside and I will give you a reason to cry and throw fits. You will respect me because I am the parent and you will respect others, including other children.

Is this too much to ask? I don't think so. The examples that singer mom and lucy gave were examples of the other kids not having parents to teach them, thus bad parents. Those were lack of parenting. The kids in those instances could not help what was going on. They could not help who their parents were. However, when have you ever seen a well disciplined child need more than one or two warnings to sit down and be quiet, reguardless of the age. Back in the great depression, you did not see things like this. There was no screaming becasue of not buying the kid a toy. If there was, the parent straitened him or her out and there were no more of those crying jags.

Modern day exammple? The Mennonites and the Amish. Plain simple folk. The best doggone parents you will ever meet. When they, and I have seen it on many, many occasions, go into a store of any kind, their kids reguardless of the age would either quietly walk beside them or quietly sit in the basket. If they said anything at all, it was not screaming and "I want, I want, I want" There is a Mennonite couple who I have known since their baby was born. He is six right now. I see them in walmart all the time. Not one time in these six years have I ever seen him in a store screaming like someone is trying to kill him. Not once.

So, can it be done? Yes, it can. But are the majority of parents too lazy to go out to the woodshed and set their tails on fire? Yes.

True. That's why kids were given to us. But it is up to us, the parents to correct them. And just because they are going through that time, you can't let them just go wild just because they are a certain age. That is the time when they need to be taught better. DOn't just let them get by with everything. If they don't respond to the green hickory switch, then do something else. Give a time out. Take them aside and let them know that you are the parent. DOn't keep just walking through walmart smiling like nothing is happening. Take the kid into the bathroom or outside and let them know that this isn't gonna happen. tapping the hand doesn't always work with mine all the time. It don't even effect him. He just looks at me and laughs. So i put him in my lap and I don't let him down for 1 and a half minutes cause he is 20 months old. Then I explain to him why he got the time out. There are times that he has gone in and started to touch the stove. Being that it could cause major damage, I rattle the diaper. He fusses a few minutes. Not because it hurt, but just the suprise of it. Consistency is the main thing. If his daddy and i did not stay after him, he could be more hard headed than a mule. But we don't let that happen. It is possible no matter what age, to stop the tantrum in it's tracks. Shad started getting bull headed when he was about 17 months. We identified that and fixed it. For the most part, all we have to do is count to five, and he listens. He knows that if he doesn't listen then he will either get a time out or he will get his diaper rattled. One of the two.

It will always be my belief that the way a kid acts out of the home is the way he acts in the home.