F
Fiona01
Guest
I've wanted to share my testimony with people here for a long time. Sometimes I feel reluctant, as it involves personal aspects to my life - and things I am a little ashamed of. Yet God wants us to share our testimonies, and I am happy for that sake to share it
I was raised by Catholic parents; it was instilled in me for my entire childhood that I needed to attend church and believe in Jesus and ramain a faithful church attendee. As I grew older though, I realised this was an intellectual exercise - I know all about the bible, knew the story of Jesus, and was made to feel guilty if I failed to attend church, but I was certainly not converted in the heart, and as soon as I was an adult, I turned from God/the church and pretty much ignored Him.
I thought I was doing okay. I was young, healthy, and I got married to somebody I love very much. I thought I had all I needed - then things changed. I seemed to change over-night, for no good reason. I started to suffer with anxiety. I suffered with panic attacks. I became obsessed with dying, and felt sure that things were becoming hopeless for me....
I went out one day and saw an advert: "Explore the meaning of life." It was an ad for the Alpha course, and something about that struck me. I signed up, and attended. I enjoyed it a lot. I felt like I was doing something right. I felt very suddenly and very clearly exposed before God. I thought it felt like a new beginning for me, and I left the sessions happy.....
Satan saw to that. After only a few weeks, I grew distant from God. Again. It reminds me of the parable of the mustard seed. I had the intentions, but the seed never planted deeply enough in my heart. Before I knew why, or how, I was suddenly unhappy again. I had anxiety again. I was sucked into the occult. Trust me when I say I was into it all - Ouija Boards, Tarot cards, horoscopes, occult books. I felt pulled into all these things as if they had answers - yet I can honestly say it was the emptiest, scariest, loneliest feeling I ever had, to give myself to those dark forces.
I turned to God. I said, "Something has to change. I know you're there, I know you're real. I want to know you, and I want it to be for life. I want to be in a relationship with you so I can overcome this dark addiction, and rid myself of panic attacks, anxiety" etc.
I had the most incredible feeling pass over me when I truthfully handed myself to God. I actually felt His presence. It was the most perfect feeling. I felt something click, like a button. Within days, I'd thrown out my occult tools into the trash. I began reading my bible. I turned to God every day, and it has got me to where I am now.
I truthfully feel at home with the Lord now. Even my husband says I am a different person now than before - he said he sees a very definite change in who I am. He says I don't get as anxious or worried as I used to. Panic attacks have ceased completely. He said I seem to have a "glow" about me. He says I am happier, and I've stopped many bad habits I thought I'd never kick.
The Lord, I realise, never let go of me all through my life - I was in His safe Hands the whole time, and it is only now that I see it was I who lost sight of Him, not the other way around.
Life is so much better, knowing and serving the Lord.
Thanks for reading!
I was raised by Catholic parents; it was instilled in me for my entire childhood that I needed to attend church and believe in Jesus and ramain a faithful church attendee. As I grew older though, I realised this was an intellectual exercise - I know all about the bible, knew the story of Jesus, and was made to feel guilty if I failed to attend church, but I was certainly not converted in the heart, and as soon as I was an adult, I turned from God/the church and pretty much ignored Him.
I thought I was doing okay. I was young, healthy, and I got married to somebody I love very much. I thought I had all I needed - then things changed. I seemed to change over-night, for no good reason. I started to suffer with anxiety. I suffered with panic attacks. I became obsessed with dying, and felt sure that things were becoming hopeless for me....
I went out one day and saw an advert: "Explore the meaning of life." It was an ad for the Alpha course, and something about that struck me. I signed up, and attended. I enjoyed it a lot. I felt like I was doing something right. I felt very suddenly and very clearly exposed before God. I thought it felt like a new beginning for me, and I left the sessions happy.....
Satan saw to that. After only a few weeks, I grew distant from God. Again. It reminds me of the parable of the mustard seed. I had the intentions, but the seed never planted deeply enough in my heart. Before I knew why, or how, I was suddenly unhappy again. I had anxiety again. I was sucked into the occult. Trust me when I say I was into it all - Ouija Boards, Tarot cards, horoscopes, occult books. I felt pulled into all these things as if they had answers - yet I can honestly say it was the emptiest, scariest, loneliest feeling I ever had, to give myself to those dark forces.
I turned to God. I said, "Something has to change. I know you're there, I know you're real. I want to know you, and I want it to be for life. I want to be in a relationship with you so I can overcome this dark addiction, and rid myself of panic attacks, anxiety" etc.
I had the most incredible feeling pass over me when I truthfully handed myself to God. I actually felt His presence. It was the most perfect feeling. I felt something click, like a button. Within days, I'd thrown out my occult tools into the trash. I began reading my bible. I turned to God every day, and it has got me to where I am now.
I truthfully feel at home with the Lord now. Even my husband says I am a different person now than before - he said he sees a very definite change in who I am. He says I don't get as anxious or worried as I used to. Panic attacks have ceased completely. He said I seem to have a "glow" about me. He says I am happier, and I've stopped many bad habits I thought I'd never kick.
The Lord, I realise, never let go of me all through my life - I was in His safe Hands the whole time, and it is only now that I see it was I who lost sight of Him, not the other way around.
Life is so much better, knowing and serving the Lord.
Thanks for reading!
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