New Beginnings

May I suggest that you seek grief therapy. Contact a local hospital or hospice and find out if there are any grief support groups in your area. Your feelings are totally normal. My brother passed away suddenly in October, and there are times when I still cry.

Hugs,
Trish

I agree with madison1101. Seek out someone to talk to, a professional or maybe a priest. Just someone who understands.

I would also like to point out that it sounds like you were just at the right place at the right time. You probably made Kevin's last year(s) something quite special. I can't help but feel that you were where God wanted you to be. I know this is often said, but while we miss the dead, remember that there will be a resurrection!

Praying for you

I know its hard to remember, but God really does have what is best for you at heart. You will come through this, and it will get better.

*hugs*

You know, when my grandpa was dying from terminal cancer, the television was on, the cheerfull commercials continued asif it was adressed to a crowd that lived forever in a world that keeps on spinning. For me the world had come to a standstill.

And this is exactly what you are experiencing, your world has come to a stand still while the rest are moving on with their ordinairy lives.

Imagine if you died instead of kevin, would you like to see all your relatives in tears,sadness,sorrow and unhappyness crying over your death for many years to come? Of course not, you would want them to be happy and live their lives to the fullest. So instead of dying for Kevin start LIVING for him. Im sure he would have loved it better that way.

Its a very stressfull thing and bad timing to say it in the nicest way. Personally i think you have to make the hard choice to deal with your job problems now, and set your grieve aside for the sake of your sanity and your well being, and deal with the more immediate threats simply because the situation FORCES you to do this. Talk about bad timing, its happening right now in your life. But as they say, when bad stuff happens, better to let it all happen at once and be done with it, then to keep on struggling for a long period with them and having your entire life ruined.

Hang on even tho its hard.

If i where you id goto a job agency and let them do the job searching for you, simply because you are in no state of well being to perform a stunt like that at this moment.

Kevin is forever in your heart, and you will take him wherever you go, but who matters most at this moment is YOU, collect the shattered pieces of your heart, and glue them back together and try to live for God. Pray to God for support, solice and peace, and most nicest possible way for a new job oppertunity.

It seems to me God sent you as an angel into Kevin's life. You where there when he most needed someone. God bless you for that! There should be more people like you in the world.

Do try and find someone who can offer real support. So many people are uncomfortable with tears and grief, including Christians. We all need to process the pain of such a loss, and it is as 'we bear one anothers' burdens' that 'we fulfill the law of love'. It is just so lonely and hard to bear coping with grief on your own.

Bless you
John
NZ