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IvanOng

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I have a cellgrp member, he keeps on taking advantage of my generousity. [Bible teaches us to be a generous giver] Almost every week, he will ask me for a treat or borrow $ from me w/o intending to return it to me.

What should I do? I wanna obey God's words and doesn't want to think of an excuse everytime he asks me for it, please give me some advice on this, thanks.
 

Sketcher

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Jesus said to serve, not enable bad behavior. In fact, it is unloving to do so because if this cellgroup member continues to do so, people will get fed up with him and reject him, so he will bounce to another group, take advantage of someone's compassion, and it will be a vicious cycle for him.

Maybe you can share the following verse:

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law." - Romans 13:8

It's alright to rebuke him for this sort of behavior, and it's alright to not have treats or excess money with you for him to "borrow." He needs to learn to serve himself, rather than be served by everybody. I'm not saying be tight-fisted. I'm not saying be hostile. Be polite but firm with him, telling him that you can't do this all the time. There is a book called "Boundaries" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend that explores this kind of thing in depth. Pretty much how to say "enough is enough" and still be a loving Christian. See if you can get your hands on that and give it a read.
 
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ATONEMENT

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The Bible also says nothing about allowing someone to step all over you. Look at Jesus at the temple, when they were stealing and selling at the temple. Jesus took a rod in His hand and made alittle excitement in the place, Jesus was upset, and had all the right to be. This would upset me if I was in your shoes, be kind, but it's time to put your footdown now.

-Atone
 
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janny108

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I'm so glad you brought up Boundaries, Twisted Sketch. It is a very revealing book. I think you would need to honestly examine your finances and your heart. I agree with the above post, we don't want to enable a person's behavior because it becomes easier for that person to depend on US rather than do what they need to do. There are people that tend to take advantage of other people in this way and other ways.

We need to determine in our heart what to give and stick to it. If you feel God is telling you to give more than that, the bible tells us to be a cheerful giver, but if not, don't.

I have given refreshments before; does your cellgroup have a list of people that will bring refreshments every time you get together? That helps everyone to have equal opportunity to give.

Jan
 
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