- Sep 17, 2004
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I have been in and out of Alcoholics Anonymous for over 20 years now, more in than out. I held a lot of arrogance, and resistance to the program, because of what I saw and heard in the AA meetings. Cursing, profane gutteral stuff, furniture being suggested as a Higher Power, beliefs that were totally contrary to my devout belief in Jesus. I hated the meetings and hated the people in general, because they used God's name in vain, over and over.
But, every time I tried to separate myself from AA, I relapsed and drank. Not once, not twice, but every single time. In my last relapse period, I have learned the horrific reality of the progression of the disease of alcoholism. It was not pretty.
It took going to rehab, and seeing young men and women on staff, who cursed with the best of them, having more sobriety than me, to humble me and get me to cling to the AA program with everything I have. MY WAY DID NOT WORK IN KEEPING ME SOBER.
I learned that those profane alcoholics who did not necessarily claim Jesus as their Higher Power had something I did not have....SOBRIETY. They were sober, and I was still struggling with relapse. I knew nothing about getting and staying sober and I also learned that my arrogance was keeping me drinking.
If someone finds AA distasteful, keep going to different meetings. They have something you don't if you are still drinking. They found a way to get sober. Your way is not working if you are still drinking.
But, every time I tried to separate myself from AA, I relapsed and drank. Not once, not twice, but every single time. In my last relapse period, I have learned the horrific reality of the progression of the disease of alcoholism. It was not pretty.
It took going to rehab, and seeing young men and women on staff, who cursed with the best of them, having more sobriety than me, to humble me and get me to cling to the AA program with everything I have. MY WAY DID NOT WORK IN KEEPING ME SOBER.
I learned that those profane alcoholics who did not necessarily claim Jesus as their Higher Power had something I did not have....SOBRIETY. They were sober, and I was still struggling with relapse. I knew nothing about getting and staying sober and I also learned that my arrogance was keeping me drinking.
If someone finds AA distasteful, keep going to different meetings. They have something you don't if you are still drinking. They found a way to get sober. Your way is not working if you are still drinking.