My son

Hi Heather,

I am sorry to read about your infant son. You have surely been through a traumatic and turbulant time since April. Many questions and emotions will have stressed your entire being throughout these months.

I would like to ask you (as it may be of great help to others as well) what kind of help have you found most beneficial to you (e.g. family, relatives, friends, health services, church, etc) and what things, if any, have only served to add to your sorrow and stress (e.g. comments, behaviour of friends ,etc).

PLease only answer if you feel talking about these matters helps you, otherwise please just accept my prayers for God's peace to be with you.

Heather, I think if you would tell the members in more detail what happened it would be helpful to you. Words cannot express what happened to your family, and the tragedy you have suffered. It is unjust. It is wrong. No infant should have to die so young. By the time you read this I will already have said my night time prayers, all for your family. I'm going to send you some blessings, too. I know I don't know you, really, but I have suffered severe emotional pain, also. I have never lost a child, but I have lost a Sister. I share the loss with you. If I could make everything all better for you I would. All I can do is share your pain, and you can share my joy. Even when I suffer I have joy because my suffering is united with Jesus suffering on the cross, and His love is in my heart. He has given me great blessings, and Holy is His name. He has done great things for me, and saved me from certain death, to make me very wealthy, indeed. I shall be blessed for sharing your pain with you, and in this moment, where you are all closed in, I will pray that Mary, the Mother of Jesus will share her heart with you. Her heart was pierced when Jesus died on the Cross. She saw Him there. When they took his body down, she took Jesus in her arms. She suffered so much, just like you. She will help you if you ask her to intercede for you with Jesus. You can also ask her to surround you with her mantle of love to discourage the enemy. The enemy wants you to think this is your fault, and then blame God.

Here is a prayer I wrote for you:

Mother Mary,
Please intercede with your Son Jesus with me, and show me your wounded Mother's heart. Surround me with the mantle of your love to discourage the enemy. Saint Michael and our guardian angels, come defend us in battle against all the evil ones who roam the earth. Jesus, please baptize me anew this day (and you can pray this at night, too) with Your Holy Spirit, in Love, Peace, Joy, Wisdom, and Truth. Then sing a song to Jesus. After you say this prayer for a few days, ask Jesus, just once, to show you your little child is alright, and will never suffer, because your child is with Him in Heaven.

heatherq17 said:

Well on April 28th I went to the doctors office for my regular baby checkup and when she checked the heartbeat she couldnt find one so I went to the hospital. They hooked me on machines did the ultrasound and the Doctor told me that my baby had passed away. I was induced right away and the next day at 8:46am Conner James Blum was born into the arms of Jesus. They did an autopsy and that came back normal but when they did blood tests on me they discovered that I had a clotting disorder which only gets bad when Im preg. SO in the future I would have to take blood thinners and baby asprin and extra folic acid. What hurts the most is that if they would of found out I had that problem my baby would be here today. WHat I found the most supportive is My online support groups I go on, here and my bfs parents. The doctor that delivered conner was very caring! I got a memory box full of his stuff. I have a website for him if you would like to see

http://www.ourangelconner.bravehost.com/homepage.htm

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Thanks Heather for your story!

One can hardly imagine the trauma you went through on your journey from the doctor's to the hospital. And it didn't end there, as your worst fears were confirmed. My heart goes out to you when I try to think what you went through that night waiting for Conner to be born the following morning. People don't even think of these things when they hear that someone has lost a baby. You are an incredibly strong and brave person.

I looked at your website and I was really pleased to see that you have such a loving and close family. It is a very cruel fact that the loss of a child is often too much for parents and they feel suffocated in their relationship and end up in divorce. It seems you have a sound relationship which is a big benefit for you both.

It does hurt tremendously when the death of a child is due to a cause that could have been avoided. A child death is very different to a natural death from old-age. In old-age one has lived one's life: marriage, career, wars, ups and downs, etc. But a child never lived its life, which means all the generations that would have been spawned by that child also "died" in that they never got the chance to exist. We will never know who they would have married, what children they would have had and so on for generations to come - all that collapses when a child dies, and it is no wonder that the anguish and grievance that accompanies it is so terrible!

Your website also shows how much you love your child. No one, not even a husband, has quite the same love-bond as a natural mother. Conner will live with you for ever. But it will help you to remember that it is only a time hiccup during which you live in separate worlds before you catch him up again. To confirm this from the bible, I will leave you with the words of King David when he spoke of his son that God had taken from him:

"But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me." 2 Sam 23

May God bless you, baby Conner, and your family

Dear Heather, I viewed the website you made for your beautiful baby boy conner, what a lovely tribute. I pray the Lord will comfort you and your family and surround you with his love and peace.