EnemyPartyII
Well-Known Member
You can't force anyone to change, however you can certainly force someone to undergo treatment that is meant to change them
Upvote
0
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
You can't force anyone to change, however you can certainly force someone to undergo treatment that is meant to change themI think the word "forced" is the operative word. You cant "force" somebody to change, they have to be willing. Even a hypnotist will tell you he cant hypnotize you if you arent willing.
You can't force anyone to change, however you can certainly force someone to undergo treatment that is meant to change them
If you read the entire thread you would understand that this guy was saying ex-gay ministries dont work because it didnt work for him when he was forced to go.
Save me some time... do we have any evidence of it working even for people who DO want to change?If you read the entire thread you would understand that this guy was saying ex-gay ministries dont work because it didnt work for him when he was forced to go.
I agreed - no one is going change if they are being forced to - you have to want to. That's why it didnt succeed with him. Please read the thread before you comment.
Save me some time... do we have any evidence of it working even for people who DO want to change?
real evidence that is... double blind studies and peer reviewed articles would be acceptible
I'm not threatened by what you say.How about first hand, real life experiences? Do they count?
As a former practicing homosexual, I am now living a very happy life NOT as a practicing homosexual. I have a wife and two kids. We have a very healthy sex life. I am happier now than I have ever been in my life. The feelings that I use to think I couldnt resist no longer control me. In fact, every year, month, and day that goes by the feelings get weaker and weaker. I am no longer feeding the lust with images, pornography, or sexual encounters. I am living proof that if you WANT to change you can. For some reason, some people on here are threatened by that. I guess they would rather feel helpless and think they have no control, therefore it cant possibly be wrong.
Their going to call you a gay in denial from now on.How about first hand, real life experiences? Do they count?
As a former practicing homosexual, I am now living a very happy life NOT as a practicing homosexual. I have a wife and two kids. We have a very healthy sex life. I am happier now than I have ever been in my life. The feelings that I use to think I couldnt resist no longer control me. In fact, every year, month, and day that goes by the feelings get weaker and weaker. I am no longer feeding the lust with images, pornography, or sexual encounters. I am living proof that if you WANT to change you can. For some reason, some people on here are threatened by that. I guess they would rather feel helpless and think they have no control, therefore it cant possibly be wrong.
..and I think the operative word is "change" when there is nothing to change. You can not ask a hispanic to be asian..you can not ask a bird to be a cat..you can not change heterosexual to be gay...you can not change a homosexual to be str8. Anyone an place a facade on their life...it doesn't mean a thing.I think the word "forced" is the operative word. You cant "force" somebody to change, they have to be willing. Even a hypnotist will tell you he cant hypnotize you if you arent willing.
Why would anyone be threatened by this comment? Why would one say you are a "gay in denial"? This is a choice you made...nothing else matters. You say your "feelings get weaker and weaker"...those would be gay feelings I imagine...meaning you still have them. You never had a disease so there was nothing to be cured. You are married now, with kids, and all...that's great..and your happy...that too is great...But just getting married, and having kids, etc...that doesn't define sexuality, and it certainly doesn't mean "you passed" with not being gay anymore. Were you ever gay? Possibly bisexual? There are plenty that have gone the root you have and things unfortuantely didn't work out, and many lives were ruined as well as kids. Gay people are married all day long with kids.... The point is you are happier now. THAT makes a difference. If you weren't, you would then be miserable, and chances are the marriage would not be as good as it is now. That's the difference...and that also leads me to believe that perhaps your heterosexual feelings were stronger than your gay feelings, hence, a bisexual.How about first hand, real life experiences? Do they count?
As a former practicing homosexual, I am now living a very happy life NOT as a practicing homosexual. I have a wife and two kids. We have a very healthy sex life. I am happier now than I have ever been in my life. The feelings that I use to think I couldnt resist no longer control me. In fact, every year, month, and day that goes by the feelings get weaker and weaker. I am no longer feeding the lust with images, pornography, or sexual encounters. I am living proof that if you WANT to change you can. For some reason, some people on here are threatened by that. I guess they would rather feel helpless and think they have no control, therefore it cant possibly be wrong.
Totally incorrect. It didn't work because he was "forced'..that had nothing to do with it. Listen, nothing will change your mind, so this is just yet another thread beating a dead horse. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and thinking you're going to get a different result. It just isn't going to happen here. The records all over this show time and time again...exgay therapies don't work simply b/c you can not change what is genetic. The people that have issues with his are fundamentalists. Saying they work because your religious beliefs tell you they have to work means nothing. Whenever something takes the side of science, fundamentalists freak out because then they have to reason and think and use intelligence rather than the cop out "it is because it is" or "it is because I said so" or "because the bible says so". I can pretty much say that no fundie ever changed their mind on ANYTHING they did not agree with. On the other hands, many non fundamentalist christians have because they know there is error in life, meaning behind words, situations, etc.. Exgay therapy is 100% faith based period. There is no reason for its existance except to support what like ministers say in the pulpit...thus they can send people to get help. If you are not a christian ex-gay therapy means nothing to you. If you are not a fundamentalist...ex-gay therapy means nothing to you. Because fundamentalists will not except genetics because it means their blind belief in man made words will be challenged...they have to put all their faith in ministers praying the gay away. It's absurd, it is ridiculous, and anyone with a remote bit of knowledge, intelligence, etc..knows this. Listen our entire DNA structure is almost solved. It will only be a matter of time before it is proven once and for all that sexuality is out of one's hands. Not that this will make any difference to fundamentalists b/c they don't even believe in dinasours. Does that sorta person really rock so many people here to become defensive when it comes to being gay? Religious fanatics will never have a hold on me, so their comments on issues that they have a hatred towards is like asking the President what he thinks of rap music. Who cares? If I needed to know why fundamentalists are so fanatical..I'm going to ask one b/c they know better than anyone else. If I want to know why they are obsessed with sexuality more than any other christian base, I'm going to ask them b/c they know what's best. If I want to find out about ex-gay ministries I would ask ANYONE else other than a fundamentalist because they use religion as their base for everything so you will not get an unbiased answer. If I wanna find out about Christianity and homosexuality, again, I'm not asking the radical fringe...why would you? It's less than 1% of the Christians world wide. It's primarily a US based sect, and their PERSONAL beliefs are anti-homosexuality, THUS, as always, they look to the bible for their support...take scripture and make it what it's not..and say ..."there..that's why you're an a abomination". Same thinig they did with slavery...same thing they did with segregation...same thing they do to women...same thing with homosexuality. IF any studies were ever done on exgay ministries OUTSIDE of Exodus and Focus on the Family, or any other religious based organization..that's one thing. But nothing ever has because is no foundation to it. Keep giving ministries $$$ and keep trying to change something that can't...keep going back to give more $$$, and then ultimately say you were "healed" and then get a job with that ministry to preach the same ludacrious nonsense to pull others in. One must keep in mind, it is the vunerable, adolecent that these ministries target. They're not predominately done for 55 year old women, or 45 year old men who all of a sudden say "oops...gotta change"...these are for kids that are easily influenced..and again..if they didn't already come from some serious, hardcore, over the top, religious brainwashing...these establishments wouldn't even exist. It's one vicious circle for the fundamentalist and has absolutely no worth to anyone else outside of that group of individuals. A final note is NONE of this should be confused with those that chose to abstain or be celibate. They are not denying themselves their homosexuality...they are denying themselves the homosexuality sexual activity. Two very different things. As a child brought up in the catholic church..I talked to my priest about this alot. Never ONCE was it discussed that it can be changed, nor did my priest even suggest it should be. He simply said you must not act upon it. That's a big difference than being told to change...and setting an individual up for mental suffering, depression, and turning to substance abuse because they continue to beat themselves up. The disservice alone is so unchristian like I can't even believe people allow them to continue.If you read the entire thread you would understand that this guy was saying ex-gay ministries dont work because it didnt work for him when he was forced to go.
I agreed - no one is going change if they are being forced to - you have to want to. That's why it didnt succeed with him. Please read the thread before you comment.
How about first hand, real life experiences? Do they count?
As a former practicing homosexual, I am now living a very happy life NOT as a practicing homosexual. I have a wife and two kids. We have a very healthy sex life. I am happier now than I have ever been in my life. The feelings that I use to think I couldnt resist no longer control me. In fact, every year, month, and day that goes by the feelings get weaker and weaker. I am no longer feeding the lust with images, pornography, or sexual encounters. I am living proof that if you WANT to change you can. For some reason, some people on here are threatened by that. I guess they would rather feel helpless and think they have no control, therefore it cant possibly be wrong.
..and I think the operative word is "change" when there is nothing to change. You can not ask a hispanic to be asian..you can not ask a bird to be a cat..you can not change heterosexual to be gay...you can not change a homosexual to be str8. Anyone an place a facade on their life...it doesn't mean a thing.
...and that also leads me to believe that perhaps your heterosexual feelings were stronger than your gay feelings, hence, a bisexual.
Well, it seems it worked for you, good for you. Didn't for me.Try telling that to the hundreds of men I have been with. (Not that I'm proud of that fact, but just to let you know the homosexual feelings I had were not just some bi-curious thing.)
Listen, nothing will change your mind, so this is just yet another thread beating a dead horse. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and thinking you're going to get a different result. It just isn't going to happen here............
Well, it seems it worked for you, good for you. Didn't for me.
Well, it seems it worked for you, good for you.
Hopefully I understand the question. Until Icame out of the closet last year, I hid them away deep inside. Now I let things play their part.Do you control your feelings or do they control you? This isn't a gay versus straight question.
Hopefully I understand the question. Until Icame out of the closet last year, I hid them away deep inside. Now I let things play their part.
Attraction I can't control. My actions on my attraction I do.
Thank youWell that's pretty good Brieuse. That's all you can do. It's difficult being alone. I was a single until I was 38, and I thought I might never get married. This was so depressing. I can understand how it feels.
However, I stayed the course, and avoided fornication. The Lord blessed.
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?