To preface - I used to post here a lot a few years ago. Only been a Christian for about 2 years, and no one else in my family is a believer. I also hope that even though I'm not well-known here, that people will still read this and answer, if they can! I posted this in the Women's Discussion, but fear as though no one will read it because they don't know me.
So my mother has some issues - my parents are "good" people - raised us well, it wasn't a broken home. But people are not without problems. A bit of background on my mom: her dad died of lung cancer when she was 22. She has always been very shy and was the middle child of 4 kids, and so was basically "ignored" by her mother, so she claims. Her little sister died of endometrial cancer 4 years ago, and now her mother is not doing well, but she is in her 80's, so at least it's to be expected. My mom had some medical trouble of her own several years ago - she has migraines but was misdiagnosed, put through unnecessary surgeries, on really strong, addictive experimental drugs, basically could have died. My dad is the silent type, couldn't fix things and didn't handle it well, but honestly, who could really blame him? He wasn't the greatest dad for a few years, but I forgave him (he didn't speak to us, but still came to all our recitals and sat in the back row). It passed and things were fine.
Then my sister and I went off to college and then my mom hit menopause. It has not treated her well. And somehow all of this has made her really materialistic. She spends my father out of house and home, is jealous that my sister and I live in DC and they live in upstate NY, because apparently, everyone there is an idiot (according to my mother), with no class and no taste. Her family was far from wealthy, so it's not as if she is accustomed to more and my dad has a really good job, she was a stay-at-home mom when we were kids and my father rarely says anything to her about her lavish habits. She whines about her job, and hating it, but she won't look for anything else. She didn't finish college b/c some guy broke her heart and she dropped out. And she thinks she's some super-genius and too smart for everyone in our hometown. My dad, my sis and I are all very intelligent and I'm sure she is too, but come on, be humble! She also started a wine kick. Which was fine, until she started drinking more than she should - and then her doc put her on prozac to try to control her moods, and that just made for the perfect 1950's cliché. Christmas was horrible this year. She always says nasty things about my dad, or men in general, has basically implied that she "settled" when she married him. I don't know if she means that or not. My dad won't leave her b/c he still cares about her and sometimes I think he should, but she'd be a total wreck on her own. He says she's not the same person anymore, and I agree.
She says she's lonely and always tells us how she misses us SO MUCH - we're adults. We have lives of our own. Sure, I like to visit my parents, but I have a job, friends, my own stuff to take care of. My mom and I are supposed to go on vacation and she asked me in an email if I could tell her about church - which should be interesting b/c every other time I've tried to broach the subject, it's gotten nowhere and she still does not know that I am "saved", so to speak. My dad was raised Catholic, but he, my mom and my sister are not believers. And my mom has her own hippy-dippy notion of God and Jesus and thinks all Christians are hypocrites and idiots. My dad is fine with my going to church, doesn't really care as long as I'm happy.
Anyway, I'm at my wit's end and not wanting to go on vacation. I know it's not my place or my job to take care of my parents, but I have my own life and I don't need that weighing down on me, nor do I want to be the estranged daughter. So I don't know what to do - pray, duh, but besides that. Any thoughts are greatly appreciated. If you need more info, please ask, and I will try to fill in the gaps.
So my mother has some issues - my parents are "good" people - raised us well, it wasn't a broken home. But people are not without problems. A bit of background on my mom: her dad died of lung cancer when she was 22. She has always been very shy and was the middle child of 4 kids, and so was basically "ignored" by her mother, so she claims. Her little sister died of endometrial cancer 4 years ago, and now her mother is not doing well, but she is in her 80's, so at least it's to be expected. My mom had some medical trouble of her own several years ago - she has migraines but was misdiagnosed, put through unnecessary surgeries, on really strong, addictive experimental drugs, basically could have died. My dad is the silent type, couldn't fix things and didn't handle it well, but honestly, who could really blame him? He wasn't the greatest dad for a few years, but I forgave him (he didn't speak to us, but still came to all our recitals and sat in the back row). It passed and things were fine.
Then my sister and I went off to college and then my mom hit menopause. It has not treated her well. And somehow all of this has made her really materialistic. She spends my father out of house and home, is jealous that my sister and I live in DC and they live in upstate NY, because apparently, everyone there is an idiot (according to my mother), with no class and no taste. Her family was far from wealthy, so it's not as if she is accustomed to more and my dad has a really good job, she was a stay-at-home mom when we were kids and my father rarely says anything to her about her lavish habits. She whines about her job, and hating it, but she won't look for anything else. She didn't finish college b/c some guy broke her heart and she dropped out. And she thinks she's some super-genius and too smart for everyone in our hometown. My dad, my sis and I are all very intelligent and I'm sure she is too, but come on, be humble! She also started a wine kick. Which was fine, until she started drinking more than she should - and then her doc put her on prozac to try to control her moods, and that just made for the perfect 1950's cliché. Christmas was horrible this year. She always says nasty things about my dad, or men in general, has basically implied that she "settled" when she married him. I don't know if she means that or not. My dad won't leave her b/c he still cares about her and sometimes I think he should, but she'd be a total wreck on her own. He says she's not the same person anymore, and I agree.
She says she's lonely and always tells us how she misses us SO MUCH - we're adults. We have lives of our own. Sure, I like to visit my parents, but I have a job, friends, my own stuff to take care of. My mom and I are supposed to go on vacation and she asked me in an email if I could tell her about church - which should be interesting b/c every other time I've tried to broach the subject, it's gotten nowhere and she still does not know that I am "saved", so to speak. My dad was raised Catholic, but he, my mom and my sister are not believers. And my mom has her own hippy-dippy notion of God and Jesus and thinks all Christians are hypocrites and idiots. My dad is fine with my going to church, doesn't really care as long as I'm happy.
Anyway, I'm at my wit's end and not wanting to go on vacation. I know it's not my place or my job to take care of my parents, but I have my own life and I don't need that weighing down on me, nor do I want to be the estranged daughter. So I don't know what to do - pray, duh, but besides that. Any thoughts are greatly appreciated. If you need more info, please ask, and I will try to fill in the gaps.