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Modesty

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kthrnalice

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How do people struggle with modesty the most?

Guys, what can we girls do in our everyday lives to help you?

Girls, what cant you find? I have real trouble finding jeans myself, or shorts that are long enough. What are some things you dont understand about modesty?

Im really curious to what other people think, Ive read a lot of books about how to act and what to wear. But what do real people think?

Personally the Modesty Survey has been really helpful to me. Anyone agree?
 
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OGM

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kthrnalice said:
Guys, what can we girls do in our everyday lives to help you?
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Where I live (NYC area)...I forget all I see. It seems everyone is try to capitalize on the selling of sexuality.
Im really curious to what other people think, Ive read a lot of books about how to act and what to wear. But what do real people think?
Click to expand...
It is a complex issue that has a lot to do with one's culture.
 
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kthrnalice

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Affliction said:
What do you mean? Maybe we shouldn't as a society over-sexualize everything.
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Agreed! But saying that should we be careful, as examples of our faith, not to dress like a prostitute?


Thank you LastSeven, this is what i am talking about (partially).

dnp200450, is it then our responsibility, in this world of sexualisation, to be different, to have the outward sign of modesty to reflect the state of our hearts?
 
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Affliction

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Keep in mind as different people, different faiths, values etc - we could have two obviously VERY different views of who would be considered a prostitute in terms of garb no?
 
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KitKatMatt

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I view modesty as wearing what you are comfortable with, and not forcing yourself to conform to society's standards because that's what they say "is the right thing to wear".

So in that view, my struggle with modesty is finding any clothes that aren't frilly, impractical, or awkwardly revealing, which unfortunately cuts out 99.99% of women's clothing Only men's clothing offer what I'm looking for (unless I get really lucky at Sears or something, which is very rare).

And it's hard to find men's clothes that fit my body, because most of the clothing is for people much bigger than me (I'm too big for kid's clothing, and too small for adult's clothing).

The struggle to find plain clothes for a woman is so real that it hurts.
 
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OGM

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kthrnalice said:
dnp200450, is it then our responsibility, in this world of sexualisation, to be different, to have the outward sign of modesty to reflect the state of our hearts?
Click to expand...
Also it is has to do with the state of the culture one is in. For example; in some countries I traveled to a woman is to be covered from wrist-to-ankle...no arms or legs showing. Even when swimming the males are to be covered from navel-to-knee.

Other countries (Saudi Arabia) are stricter and require the genders to be segregated in public. So you would have a male amusement park and a female amusement park. Male swimming area and female swimming area.

If you look at archived photos of people swimming in the West Hemisphere; you will notice men were not swimming bare-chested at public beaches. Their upper garment was similar to a tank top.

Even in the United States some ultraconservative congregations don't allow shorts on women. I would imagine their views on swimwear are pretty strict too.

My point is you have to figure culture in to the modesty equation.
 
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Sketcher

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kthrnalice said:
Guys, what can we girls do in our everyday lives to help you?
Click to expand...

Those women whom you know show too much skin? Don't show that much. Do you know what they do on the TV to arouse lust? Don't emulate it. Keep your conversations modest too.

I could be more specific as to what stands out to me personally the most, but I'm so good at lust that I can easily lust after a woman who both dresses and acts modestly. Your goal should not be to have the guys stop lusting after you, we are too fallen to allow for that despite your best intentions. Your goal should be to honor God with the way you dress, love the women around you with the way you dress (vanity has a way of coming out in the outfits you choose, if I understand this component of female jealousy correctly), and stay out of "harlot" territory. I'm not saying to go all the way and reject the call for women to be modest, like some do. I am saying that "modesty" is not defined by whether some guy finds it possible to lust after you or not. It's your responsibility not to be a flesh-showing attention magnet, it's ours to keep our eyes and minds relatively under control.
 
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EazyMack

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Modesty is not just in how you dress, it's also in how you carry yourself.

Men are attracted to the female figure, whether skin is showing or not. Being attractive is not a sin. You don't need to wear baggy men's clothing, or several yards of material to completely hide the body & its shape. But wearing extra-revealing clothing would raise questions about your modesty, not just on the outside, but in the heart, as well.

As far as what clothing is or is not modest, everyone already knows what is appropriate and what's not. As far as men lusting after women, very little of that is really based on how a woman dresses. It then becomes an issue of what is in that man's heart, which is between him & God.

By the way, finding a woman attractive, and lusting after a woman, are two different things.

It's all about the heart.
 
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graceandpeace

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Modesty is a very subjective term & varies from culture to culture. As a Christian woman in America, I simply try to avoid exposing any private areas on my body. I'll wear a tank top in the summer, but will not wear a see-through or low-cut tank top, for example.
 
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tuliplane

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I think modesty can be different for everyone; what may look modest on one girl can look immodest on another girl. A lot of it has to do with body type/shape. There are some things which would obviously be blatantly immodest for anyone to wear regardless of their build, but for many things it's a personal matter.

You need to see how that particular clothing looks on you and how you feel about wearing it. Is it too low, tight, or short? Would it come across as a stumbling block for men? If Jesus were standing right next to you, what would He think? Those are some questions you can ask yourself.

Modesty really is a matter of the heart; that's why God didn't give us specific rules and guidelines on what to wear, because a lot of it is dependent on your personal convictions and motives of the heart. You may be wearing something that you feel comfortable wearing and see nothing wrong with, whereas someone else does. It could be that it's a gray area; it's not necessarily wrong what you're wearing, but the other person sees it as that, because it's their personal conviction. But it could also be that perhaps what you're wearing is something indecent and we should listen to what the other person has to say and take heed to their advice. If you're not sure, just pray about it, and ask yourself those questions I mentioned above.

Sometimes modesty isn't what we're wearing, but how we're wearing it. They could be very decent clothes, but are worn in a flaunting provocative way. Perhaps the clothes scream "Look at me, I want attention." Modesty can also be seen in the way a person walks, talks, and carries themselves.

Modesty can also go for men too. If a man is egotistical, proud, and arrogant, he's not modest. And as far as how they dress as well. Men posing without a shirt on, showing off their physique and their pants so low you can start to see an area that you don't want to look at, certainly isn't modest!

So really, it all comes down to wear your heart is and if you're trying to follow God's way. If you seek after Him, He'll guide you in the right direction.
 
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Observer

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To be honest I don't really think about modesty in my life. I am a short overweight woman without the ideal hourglass figure and that makes me fairly invisible to most men while I am out in public

I work as a support worker assiting people in wheelchairs with all daily activies. I have to bend over a lot, and very close to them, while dressing them, doing buckles up etc etc. I've been told they can see right down my top every time I bend over. But I'm not going to wear skin tight clothes to prevent that cause I'm fat! That's my only modesty issue. lol
 
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graciesings

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I wear mens T-shirts, because they have a reasonable neckline. (I am also 6'1, so the women's t-shirts usually aren't long enough for me to bend over.) I get most of my T-shirts at Wal-Mart or Target. They have pretty colors in the mens department and the pink ones are sometimes half price
I sometimes wear pants but usually full skirts that come past my knees. Why do I wear long skirts? Well... to tell the truth, it's partly because my role model wears skirts unless she is going to be cutting wood/ riding horses/ welding. But I also like long skirts because it is unusual and I get more respect from men when I'm dressed in a feminine manner. You can sometimes find nice denim skirts at western wear stores, and if you want pretty colors they aren't hard to make.
 
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Mankin

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Modesty is about humility, not garments. I am sick to death of the modesty culture that makes women have horrendous body issues and makes them believe they are responsible for if men get all hot and bothered. It's incredibly stupid.

That being said, one should wear whatever is sensible giving their culture. If it's comfortable and is not going to gain vast amounts of unwanted attention, then wear it. Use some common sense. Now if you go out attempting to gain attention, that's another issue.
 
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DreadWarrior

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I believe women should make an effort to dress modestly, but also shouldn't get overly paranoid about it either. Frankly if a guy is going to lust after you, he's going to even if you're just wearing a t-shirt and jeans. As long as you're not wearing short shorts, or a miniskirt, and aren't cleavaging the world you should be fine.
 
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Unix

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I can understand that, KitKatMatt!! That's really sad:
 
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