Missing Mass

Caedman I'm so sorry about your ways of your family, not understanding that you want to go to Mass.

I too have a family that anyone would think would make my going to Mass a big problem when visiting them. My mother had married "outside the Church" and my father was decidely anti-Catholic (so much so that my Grandmother even had me baptized without my father's knowledge), so going to Mass as a family group was only possible in my real young years when I lived with my Grandparents (God rest their souls). When I was about four, my parents took me several states away to live and Church was but a memory. After a few years, (and a divorce) my mother briefly returned to my Grandparents where Mass going (and at least my First Communion was made). After a Decree of Nullity of my mother's first marriage was granted, my mother remarried (another non-Catholic this time "in the Church") going to Mass as a family wasn't even possible and soon I too found that I would have to get myself to Mass "all by my lonely". It would remain like this until I married my husband, who was at the time a devout non-Catholic (later he converted).

And of course when I'd visit my non-Catholic family, I would sometimes be very afraid that they would not understand my going to Mass (especially since I would also go to their church service with them.) However I'd leave it to Our Lord and simply tell my family I want to go to Mass (I'd previously "scout" out Mass times at Catholic Churches closeby). To my astonishment, it all worked out "smooth as silk" with no one taking offense in any way.

I'm telling you all this to let you know that there are others out there that faced difficulties and I guess I'm just trying to say--give it to the Lord and step out in Faith.

I pray that things will be better for you.

This might seem a little oversimplified, but just consider this question: Is your family keeping you from God?

Our whole purpose of life is to know, to love and to serve God that we may be happy with Him in this life and the next. If you aren't fulfilling your purpose, you won't be happy. If you know something is wrong, and you do it, you feel guilt. This guilt slowly turns to self-hate, and self-hate turns into hatred of others. This is the clear path to hell where hate is an irreversible and eternal reality. It begins with guilt. This is why the highest moral rule in Catholocism is to always follow your conscience, since acting contrary to your conscience causes guilt. The second highest moral rule is to properly form your conscience, and to do this we look to Christ's teachings and example.

God is the most important person in your life. Look to your own salvation above all else, even before the salvation of others. Where you do all in your power to know, love and serve God, even if your efforts do not fulfill your desire (ie, you are prevented beyond your means and efforts from attending Mass), then you can have no guilt, for you did not act in contradiction to your conscience (which informs you of the necessity of consistently nurturing your relationship with God, most profoundly activated through full communion with Christ in the Eucharist).

I can't say whether you are guilty of sinning against God or not. The answer to this question comes from you. Only you can say if you did everything you could have. Judge carefully what really was in your means, and what really was not.

If a priest told you that it was ok to miss Mass while travelling, for no other reason than simply because you were travelling, then that priest was in error. This is most especially true in our age, where access to information regarding Mass times of any place you travel to is so easily attainable. However, if the priest was merely postulating that there are more likely to be unforeseen circumstances which could prevent you from attending Mass while travelling, and that in such cases of such unforeseen circumstances you were to miss Mass by no fault of your own, that you should not feel guilt for that which was not in your control, then he is certainly correct in this. I cannot say how your priest was speaking to you in this regard, so I cannot say whether he was right or wrong. I think you are the best one to answer that question.

Caedmon,

Have you tried praying to you mum or dad's (or whoever's) guardian angel, asking for their help to aid you in getting through before you speak with them? It can work wonders...

And also pray for your parents in general. I'm sure you already do, but it doesn't hurt to mention it

Also... I see you are a grown man. Have you levelled with your parents about what you believe, why you believe it, and why you find their attitude unhelpful? They may be confused by your faith. People often react badly to things they do not understand. If it won't cause World War III, maybe you could try speaking with your parents, on a very basic level, about why and how you love God, and why relating to Him through the Catholic faith is the right thing for you to do.

I am praying for you.


Hugs all round!

While my mother was still living, I used to go over to her home for three weeks every July for vacation. Because she lived outside the city, there was no church nearby and so I would spend the three weeks without attending mass. I never saw a problem with that, because God knew the situation and I was actually resepcting His Divine Commandments by being with my mother: "Honor Thy Father and Mother".

This said, this is usually the only time I miss mass; if I am on the road visiting relatives. The only other situation is if I am ill and cannot go.