Missing Mass

Caedmon · Dec 31, 2006

So, I'm currently on "vacation," and I arrived at my old parish town to stay with relatives yesterday. They only have Sat. night mass here, but I got in town right when mass started. Long story short, I didn't go, because I was tired from the drive, and I would have been late anyway. I didn't go to mass today either, because it would have been a 35 mile drive, I woke up at 10am, and I had a headache.

Now, the priest here, who I've confessed to many times, has told me in the past that it's OK to miss mass while you're traveling, on vacation, etc. I want to agree with him, but I still felt a little guilty missing this weekend. Then again, I've had problems in the past with improper guilt.

How do you feel about missing mass while you're traveling or on vacation? Have you ever asked your priest about it? What did he say? How did you feel about his response?

cairaiii · Dec 31, 2006

The first thing I do when I go on vacation is to go online and check out the local RC Church to make sure there is a Mass.

I am usually a pain in the butt to everyone on vacation about getting to Mass when we travel, if it was up to my family we would not go to Mass, but I make sure that at least one of them goes with me.

ProCommunioneFacior · Dec 31, 2006

I disagree that one is excused from Mass during traveling, unless they are traveling to Serbia or Antartica or something.

I believe that one is only excused for grave reasons such as sickness or for taking care of somebody who is in a grave situation. At least that is what my priest has told me.

BrRichSFO · Dec 31, 2006

Caedmon said:
So, I'm currently on "vacation," and I arrived at my old parish town to stay with relatives yesterday. They only have Sat. night mass here, but I got in town right when mass started. Long story short, I didn't go, because I was tired from the drive, and I would have been late anyway. I didn't go to mass today either, because it would have been a 35 mile drive, I woke up at 10am, and I had a headache.

Now, the priest here, who I've confessed to many times, has told me in the past that it's OK to miss mass while you're traveling, on vacation, etc. I want to agree with him, but I still felt a little guilty missing this weekend. Then again, I've had problems in the past with improper guilt.

How do you feel about missing mass while you're traveling or on vacation? Have you ever asked your priest about it? What did he say? How did you feel about his response?

I take it that you could not have left eariler, so as to arrive eariler? Or have stopped along the way for Mass before arriving? Sleeping in is generally not an acceptable excuse.

Isaiah 53 · Dec 31, 2006

Okay, I have a question...I work the midnight shift (1600-0615) and work three days on three days off...now this morning I ripped myself out of bed to attend the 1030 Mass--there are many times I am utterly exhausted and do not 'feel' like attending Mass, but force myself to anyhow.

I have had friends tell me that I would be dispensed from attending due to my work schedule, I disagree...what do you think?

PAX

g4goddess · Dec 31, 2006

God gave us the seventh day to rest, which is what you did. Its ok to miss once in a while for that.

cairaiii · Dec 31, 2006

g4goddess said:
God gave us the seventh day to rest, which is what you did. Its ok to miss once in a while for that.

It is not ok for Catholics.

AdJesumPerMariam · Dec 31, 2006

cairaiii said:
The first thing I do when I go on vacation is to go online and check out the local RC Church to make sure there is a Mass.

I am usually a pain in the butt to everyone on vacation about getting to Mass when we travel, if it was up to my family we would not go to Mass, but I make sure that at least one of them goes with me.

That is what I usually do.

BrRichSFO · Dec 31, 2006

Isaiah 53 said:
Okay, I have a question...I work the midnight shift (1600-0615) and work three days on three days off...now this morning I ripped myself out of bed to attend the 1030 Mass--there are many times I am utterly exhausted and do not 'feel' like attending Mass, but force myself to anyhow.

I have had friends tell me that I would be dispensed from attending due to my work schedule, I disagree...what do you think?

PAX

If you are so exhusted due to your work schedule that you are unable to get up and safely drive to the church you are excused.

Bradford · Dec 31, 2006

I'm reminded of once being in a foreign country where I didn't speak the language.

I knew there was a Catholic church SOMEWHERE in the city... however, beyond that, I was clueless. I found an Orthodox DL in Russian, which was interesting, but not required.

IOW, my total inability to find a Mass was enough to not excuse my missing Mass, but enough to lift the Sunday obligation from me.

However, another time, I traveled in from far out the city to find the only church in the city I knew I could locate (Westminster Cathedral in London, from Heathrow.) Not feeling like making the trek- had all the time in the world- isn't an excuse.

Which is a very long winded way to say, use this site: http://www.masstimes.org : and be sure to find a Mass along your route. Travelling in and of itself does not alleviate the obligation.

So I'd say get yourself to Confession next week. (BTW... I think the obligation is considered fulfilled as long as you arrive before the Gospel is proclaimed? Can anyone confirm that? )

epiclesis · Jan 1, 2007

before i go out of town, one of the first things i do is go to mass times and find the address, times and directions to a church to go to.

i work the evening shift, including saturday night, and don't get home until 11, or sometimes later. but i get up and go to 8 oclock mass in the morning.... i can always go home and take a nap before i have to be to work at 2.

none of us here can tell you if you've sinned or not. that's something between you and your conscience and God.

for me, your situation is not enough excuse to miss Mass for my conscience to be happy, but that is me. i traveled 30+ miles every week (and sometimes even more) to go to Mass for almost 10 years, and it took 45 minutes to get there. that's just my life experience.

NiteClerk · Jan 1, 2007

Caedmon said:
Now, the priest here, who I've confessed to many times, has told me in the past that it's OK to miss mass while you're traveling, on vacation, etc

Hmmm. My Priest told me only if you're traveling by oxcart.

Whenever my family travels we make every honest attempt we can to attend Mass. Sometimes this means stopping for an extra hour or so, or making a detour to a Church. But I don't believe that lack of convenience is an excuse.

And if my kids are staying with my parents I require my parents to see to it that the kids get to Mass.

Just my $.02.

Bob

RoseofLima · Jan 1, 2007

If Mass is at all a possibilty and you freely chose not to go...then you are walking dangerous ground.

Missing Sunday Mass or Mass on a Holy Day of Obligation is defined as grave matter...since it is one of the Precepts of the Church.

Now ask yourself-- did you know that this was sin of grave matter ahead of time? Did you freely choose to not go anyway?

You know it's grave matter- now decide if you were fully free and fully knowledgable in your actions. If you answer "Yes, " to all three--then you know you have commited a mortal sin.

s_gunter · Jan 1, 2007

I missed 2 Sunday Masses this month. As I am the only Catholic (OK, not technically yet. I'm in RCIA) in the family, no one understands my "obligation." So, it was next to impossible to pull myself away to attend.

That was the second Mass I missed. The first one, since I had to drive myself to Mass, I probably wouldn't have succeeded making it to the church. I'd've only succeeded in rolling my car into a ditch I was so exhausted. (I hadn't slept in over 24 hours, but that's a whole other story. )

Do I feel guilty about missing Mass? Well, about the second time, I do. I should've been stronger, stood up to them, and walked out the door. But, the first one, I do not. Me not getting enough sleep was due to circumstances beyond my control.

Caedmon · Jan 1, 2007

That's my problem too. I am the only Catholic in my family. I'll say it again. I'm the only Catholic in my family. Most of my family neither understands nor cares that I have an "obligation" to go to mass and they most certainly do not plan around that. So, I can either spend time with my family (most of whom either don't understand or don't care) celebrating Christmas, or I can pull away from the family celebration to attend mass. This isn't such an issue with my father's side of the family, but my mother is antagonistic toward my conversion, and she refuses to cut me any slack because of it.

Furthermore, on my priest. You say that missing mass because of travel is not enough of an excuse to not attend mass. Are you saying that my priest is incorrect? I really want a solid answer to this question; I want it answered specifically. So I'll ask it again: Do you believe that my priest was incorrect for telling me I didn't have to go to mass while traveling?

Caedmon · Jan 1, 2007

Man, I am just so tired of doing all this crap. I'm so tired of dealing with a manipulative mother who doesn't care about my personal beliefs. I'm sick of being the only Catholic in my family, and having to justify everything I believe in every single time I want to express my faith. My parents try to tell me where to go to church, and they don't even go to church themselves. I try to live my life believing in what I think is the truth, and I get kicked in the teeth. Well I'm tired of it. I'm tired of having to justify and explain everything all the time. This makes me physically ill. I've had headaches all week. I'm tired of this.

colleen · Jan 1, 2007

I can not judge the state of your soul, but I can tell you how confession helped me in this area. My family is not very religious, and mostly attends mass because I do. A few months ago we were out of town two weekends in a row and missed mass both weekends. Talking to my parents about faith is very hard and usually ends up poorly, and I was too scared to say anything about stopping for mass knowing that it would turn into a fight and that they might stop going to mass completely.

The first time I convinced myself that I didn't have full freedom, and that first sin, whether venial or mortal, made it easier to give in the second time. I decided that not being willing to get in to a fight with my parents wasn't enough to qualify as not having full freedom. I also realized that a venial sin is still a sin and was making it easier to commit other sins so I went to confession. Not only did I get the relief of knowing that my sins had been forgiven, but I firmly believe that the grace I received in confession helped me confront my parents when this situation came up again. We had come back from CA in time to go to an evening Sunday mass. The friends we had went with said they we're going, but my mom tried to convince them to stay at our house to gab and such. I could tell by the look on her face that she was mighty upset with me when I said that I had to get to mass. I can honestly say that if I would not have gone to confession and received that grace I would have sinned again.

I would go even if you're not sure. Even if you are positive you have not committed a mortal sin confession can help you with venial sins and gives you grace.

FullyMT · Jan 1, 2007

imHO,

you did not commit a mortal sin due to lack of either full knowledge/full consent
you should keep discussing with your priest
sometimes it just isn't possible to attend Mass
I suggest always keeping a Roman Missal on you at all times with (at least) the Sunday readings, just in case something should happen...
I never travel without mine just in case something bizzare should happen. While I realize that it's not the same as attending Mass...being able to reflect on the Scripture for that day is still a blessing.

s_gunter · Jan 1, 2007

Caedmon said:
Man, I am just so tired of doing all this crap. I'm so tired of dealing with a manipulative mother who doesn't care about my personal beliefs. I'm sick of being the only Catholic in my family, and having to justify everything I believe in every single time I want to express my faith. My parents try to tell me where to go to church, and they don't even go to church themselves. I try to live my life believing in what I think is the truth, and I get kicked in the teeth. Well I'm tired of it. I'm tired of having to justify and explain everything all the time. This makes me physically ill. I've had headaches all week. I'm tired of this.

Caedmon

RoseofLima · Jan 1, 2007

Caedmon said:
That's my problem too. I am the only Catholic in my family. I'll say it again. I'm the only Catholic in my family. Most of my family neither understands nor cares that I have an "obligation" to go to mass and they most certainly do not plan around that. So, I can either spend time with my family (most of whom either don't understand or don't care) celebrating Christmas, or I can pull away from the family celebration to attend mass. This isn't such an issue with my father's side of the family, but my mother is antagonistic toward my conversion, and she refuses to cut me any slack because of it.

Furthermore, on my priest. You say that missing mass because of travel is not enough of an excuse to not attend mass. Are you saying that my priest is incorrect? I really want a solid answer to this question; I want it answered specifically. So I'll ask it again: Do you believe that my priest was incorrect for telling me I didn't have to go to mass while traveling?

I am sorry for your family woes...I wish family wasn't so cotton pickin' hard.

Joe- in my most honest opinion, I think that yes, your priest was incorrect....except when there are truly extenuating travelling circumstances which make it truly not possible to get to Mass. And those circumstances absolutely do arise. However- I was not in the confessional with you-- he was and heards your circumstances, so he might have had a very good reason for guiding you thus.

Family is hard to deal with, and you are called to honor your parents. However- Jesus said that families might be torn apart because of HIm. They are asking you to do something which is immoral, ie missing Mass on days of obligation....through not doing what they ask you are NOT breaking the 4th Commandment. Also you are an adult, not a child, and that means that you have to take responsibility for your actions.

Love- I know that is not easy, and often yields to unpleasant consequences...but setting boundaries firmly (without being mean or anything) and sticking to them with a disordered family usually yields eventually to far better and healthier relationships. It takes time and consistenly sticking to the boundaries you have set, but most usually things do end up better for your effort.

I am sorry it is so hard.

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