Mike's Grandma

LovebirdsFlying said:

We have just learned that hospice has discontinued all of Grandma's meds, except for those that reduce pain and help her to sleep. They are no longer actually treating her conditions. This is a sign that her time is near. I feel bad for Mike, because he is losing the only real bright spot in his childhood.

I never met the lady in person, only talked to her on the telephone. It was then that she told me, "I'm not Mrs. Clark. I'm Grandma." And so she blessed our union, which sadly she will not live to see completed.

Because I am very inexperienced with stoic men, I just came right out and asked Mike how I could be of service to him if he should need me. I cannot read from his face when he is sad and in need of comfort. Mike replies, "I'm OK. This is expected, and I never grieve when I know the person is going to Heaven." That's unselfish on his part. Instead of focusing on his own loss, he rejoices for the other person who is now with the Lord. Yet it would still be perfectly normal and healthy, he acknowledges, to be sad for himself, since he is going to miss her. And yes, he knows I am here for him if he needs me. I need not worry. He is very strong and will be fine.

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I'm very sorry to hear she's dying. Just remember, the grass IS greener on the other side of death!

LovebirdsFlying said:

Thank you, Unbroken. I know it is... I have watched many a believer's face at the moment of their "graduation." (I was a nursing assistant in a Christian facility, and part of my job was to tend to the dying.)

A bit of an off-topic here, on death in general. As I just said, I have watched the deaths of believers. They never die frightened. The last one I saw (not in a professional capacity; this was a dear friend) was only 47 years old, it was sudden (brain aneurysm) but he *was* a believer in Christ, and he died with a smile on his face. His widow is confident she knows where he is now, and that he smiled because he was seeing the face of his Savior. I agree.

Contrast this with John Lennon, who reportedly was terrified.

Hmmmmm.

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Nothing to frown about when our time comes, we have mansions in Heaven! Believe it or not, I've seen Christians recently who have honestly called dead friends "lucky". "They don't have to deal with anything anymore, just gotta wait for heaven!"

LovebirdsFlying said:

I used to think that comparing my patients' deaths with that of John Lennon was unfair. They were elderly and infirm. They were ready. Lennon was shot in the prime of his life. He hadn't woken up that morning knowing that he would die that day, whereas my patients knew it was coming.

However, since I now *have* seen the sudden and unexpected death of a believer in the prime of his life--and he STILL had peace when he died--I know it is Christ, and not the circumstances of the death, that makes the difference.

My step-father, a retired police officer, has often seen people die terrified. Having personally watched *only* the deaths of believers, I have yet to.

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When death's cold hand comes, the believer will always be safe. We can't stop death, when the time comes for us to die, but we can have Soul Insurance. All we have to do is trust in Christ!

I'm sorry about Mike's grandma, LBF. :hugs:
Even when our loved ones are heaven-bound, it's still hard on us left here on earth.
I know that when my dad was in hospice I was not able to really let go and feel very much until after he was gone. When you spend every day thinking "this may be the day", it's just to difficult to be in that constant emotional state. It is possible Mike is much the same. He may be waiting for that time when he can let his guard down. I remember in that time my husband didn't know what to do with me. He cried more than I did and he barely knew my dad.

Sorry to hear this news LBF. I agree with Des, we have the hope set before us of what comes after death, but it still hurts while we're here and actually going through stuff, for us who are left behind....I can't even think about my parents dying, just the thought makes me teary but I know I have to prepare for it my mum tries to prepare me but I don't want to.....

God be with your families to help comfort you and keep you at this time (hug).

Love Sally.

We listened to this one with my dad a lot when he was in hospice. I still get teary when I listen to it. Very cool song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S70gwFcSK9k

arggh, I clicked on your link Des and now I have tears streaming down my face. I have heard that song before, on Christian radio as I'm whizzing around the city in my car and I LOVED it and sang my own heart out to it. It is beautiful and deeply resonating, especially within the context of this thread.....

God bless you Des, thank you for sharing that with us and your experience about your Dad.

AnneSally said:

arggh, I clicked on your link Des and now I have tears streaming down my face. I have heard that song before, on Christian radio as I'm whizzing around the city in my car and I LOVED it and sang my own heart out to it. It is beautiful and deeply resonating, especially within the context of this thread.....

God bless you Des, thank you for sharing that with us and your experience about your Dad.

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Aw, I didn't mean to make you cry, Sally!
LOL, I still hear that song on the radio now and then when I'm in the car, and I'm sure people think I'm nuts, driving down the road with tears streaming down my cheeks! It's cathartic for me now, even to this day. He passed nearly two years ago. So I'm at that point where I don't think about it every day anymore. But it's good to touch base with those feelings often because they're always there, just under the surface. I'm so glad they're tears of joy for the most part though. Wonderful thoughts of one day soon seeing my father, and especially our Father face to face.
And we'll all meet in person too finally.

desmalia said:

Aw, I didn't mean to make you cry, Sally!
LOL, I still hear that song on the radio now and then when I'm in the car, and I'm sure people think I'm nuts, driving down the road with tears streaming down my cheeks! It's cathartic for me now, even to this day. He passed nearly two years ago. So I'm at that point where I don't think about it every day anymore. But it's good to touch base with those feelings often because they're always there, just under the surface. I'm so glad they're tears of joy for the most part though. Wonderful thoughts of one day soon seeing my father, and especially our Father face to face.
And we'll all meet in person too finally.

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This is beautiful Des, thank you. I appreciate you sharing your experience about your dad with me because it is a touchy subject for me as my own dad nears his twilight years. I am struggling to prepare myself. My mum is a very pragmatic woman and tries to broach the matter with me but I just can't, and have to say "can we just not talk about this please Mum, I just can't go there yet," so she has written sealed letters instead and asked me to file them away for when she's gone. Argghh, it is very hard, it hurts to even think about it...ouch...

And don't worry about me crying, LOL, because it was good, tears of joy mingled with inexpressible emotions, you know what I mean, yes, cathartic is a good word I think.

I know what you mean about the driving around crying and singing to Christian radio, haha, I often think about what a loon I must look to the other drivers whilst I'm doing it.

Sorry to hear that. I know the bittersweet feelings well.

I lost my grandmother 12 years ago. It was made all the harder by being the only family member not able to be by her bedside, much less the funeral. Thankfully she died peacefully while in a medically induced coma. I was able to "talk" to her about 15 minutes before she died as I'd called and talked to a few family members, then they put the phone to her ear. As I was talking to her, the last of our family to not appear, one of my cousins, showed up with her baby. So, in effect we were all there. The bright spot was that my mother believed Mom Mom was a Christian/had been saved due to an incident while she was bed-ridden. She'd stopped talking for some time due to a stroke and my mother liked to read the Bible to her at her bedside. My mother asked her a question about the passage, relating to faith or some such and my grandmother answered in the affirmative with a several word long reply. She never spoke again.

My wife lost her grandmother a week or two after I'd moved here and five months before we married. I met her once or twice in the nursing home. It was apparent that she "chose" to die. That is, some people accept it and seem to hasten it. My wife loved her grandmother, but I think it was a tainted love due to some family history I cannot relate to you. My wife believes her grandmother was a Christian, so that eased the pain.

Those are two things we can seek solace in. Belief and hope in salvation, specifically that of our loved one. And secondly, our cherished memories of fond times with our loved one.

-- As a humorous aside, my wife's grandmother called me Mort. That's not my name, nor is it anything close in similarity. I had a step-grandmother growing up that also didn't call me by my name either. That said, being called Mort felt a little odd, as mort could be taken as a derivative of the Latin word for death. A little unsettling thinking of yourself as a harbinger of death!

LovebirdsFlying said:

Word has just come--Grandma has graduated from this life and is in heaven. Mike is still on the phone, so I don't know any other details at this time.

Please keep Mike and his family in your prayers. Thank you.

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Sorry to hear this LBF, will keep you all in my prayers.