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Meeting that didn't work out

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TheMainException

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Well, I attempted to go to a meeting tonight, but apparently they hadn't updated the change in location and time on the meeting locator. So I walked around for 20 minutes looking for the darn place. There were some really nice people who helped me out, but I'll try again next week for another one I guess. Major bummer though. All that anxiety for nothing.
 

BobW188

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Major bummer for sure. I suspect the problem is a lack of volunteers to do things like update the list; but still.
Early in my sobriety I heard the drunkalogue of a guy who had walked some 11, 12 miles in 100 degree heat, coming off a bender, to get to his first meeting. Fortunately, it was there. It was the local clubhouse, always open. Doubt we'd've seen him again if the doors had been locked.
 
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TheMainException

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Yea, I talked with some of my friends about it and said 'I can imagine many people wouldn't bother trying again.' It wasn't scary necessarily, but I do get so anxious that I want to go hide and take something (pot, alcohol, any drug) and not bother. The anxiety gets that bad...and it's not just fear or something, it's evil in me that doesn't want me to go...everything inside of me that's living for the other side. It's screaming for me to run. But the other part of me knows I need to at least go to one meeting.
 
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Catherineanne

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That thing inside you is not evil, it is perfectly natural.

When we get anxious the body releases adrenaline, and that adrenaline is there to get you to run as fast as you can away from danger. Your body does not know what kind of danger, it only knows that there is danger.

The description you give is absolutely spot on, but it is also absolutely normal, absolutely 100% human and normal, and part of how we have escaped being eaten by bears and wolves through prehistory.

I hope the next meeting is a bit easier for you, but if you get that feeling again, try not to worry about it. We all feel that way, sometimes.
 
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madison1101

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Anxiety attacks happen to me too. One of the things I have learned is that they feel absolutely awful, but they only last about 6-10 minutes, tops. Doing breathing exercises, deep breathing, physical exercise, and meditation, helps me tremendously.

Hang in there. I have been there, and still experience those blasted attacks from time to time. The longer I am sober, the less they appear.

Hugs,
Trish
 
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TheMainException

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They aren't exactly panic attacks and they do not cease until I am long out of the situation. It's almost akin to social anxiety, but I've outgrown that for the most part. When I was in high school, I used to tense up and get extremely anxious about even going to youth group with people I knew and liked. Now I can stand up in front of classrooms full of strangers and friends and do presentations with only mild fear like one should expect. Certain situations still cause massive anxiety and I don't know why other than that maybe its a spiritual thing.
 
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Jeffz

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You are not the only one who has experienced those feelings, I remember going to one of my first meetings. I felt all alone and afraid. Once the meeting started it left and I experienced a feeling of being welcomed and of being 'at home', most likely from others sharing and hearing things that were familar. So please understand you are not alone, never have to be again either, this web site gives us contact with others that have been through the struggles of addiction. It is a blessing to be able to share when I am home alone and not at a meeting. I have new friends and can call them whenever I want to. There is one particular friend who in my early recovery that I was able to call at any time and we would share over the phone. She happens to have a good relationship with the Lord and many times we would share what God had been showing and teaching us. Some times even in the early early morning hours when I couldn't sleep. She is a precious friend even today, we have been friends now for over 2 years.
So I still go to meetings and have a few sponsee's. I love sharing in meetings as it seems that God gives me things to share from my heart. I get many responses after the meetings where I have been encouraged through thier questions. It has helped me stay clean and depend on God.
one man set free,
Jeffrey
 
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