Masturbation Struggle

I'm 20, I've been masturbating since I was 12, and have been battling it for three years.

I've read Every Man's Battle, all the Joshua Harris books, been through Sex Addicts Anonymous, and read those books, and talked to pastors and friends alike.

Nothing helps, or makes a dent for more than a week.

I'm just about ready to give up. It's destroying everything. I have no desire for the Word, no desire to pray, no desire to read any more books or go to church. I often think of wanting to die so I can be with Jesus. (But not thoughts of suicide, just to be clear).

Everything always talks about the new creation, and the power of prayer and the Holy Spirit, and the power of the Word. And yet it does nothing to this habit no matter how much I read or pray for release. I've tried to do it myself, and it didn't work, I've tried to do it "with God's help", and that didn't work either. So, I gave up and asked for God to do it for me, as some people say to do, and that didn't work either. I want so badly to conquer this.

I know Jesus died for me, and I've had evidence of salvation that I know He's with me. I know I'm a Christian. I would die for the Gospel, and I'll have faith in His death and resurrection forever.

But it feels like that's all there is. Just waiting for death to be free from sin.

What about God seeing you in a different light if you don't mastrubate. Have you thought about that? Maybe that would help you not want to do it?

I had the same problem. What helped me was Celebrate Recovery with their step study program. This program was started by Saddleback Church but is adopted by many other churches. If you're honest with yourself and transparent with the group it helps. Google it and see if you can find a local church that hosts a step study class and if they have sexual addiction support groups. It made a difference in my life and hopefully it can make a difference in yours.

Well, another thing is that I'm a staff member at my church. I don't believe that sexual sin disqualifies one from ministry, but I can't say as much for anyone else. It'd be hard for me to go to CR because I know the people there. However, I have already tried Sex Addicts Anonymous, and it was a step program. It just didn't work for me.

I am praying for you. Jesus still loves you no matter what. It may take time to do this so please don't be so hard on your self that you want to die. Life is still worth living.

Ajusti00 Try www.settingcaptivesfree. this is a really good website, God bless you in your struggles, remember 1 Corinthians 10 verse 13. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. The enemy really wants to condemn you saying what you have done is terrible and you don't deserve gods love, but God loves you so much, remember you don't have to do it on your own, in fact you should surrender it all to Christ, remember you by yourself can do nothing BUT Philippians 4 verse 13 says I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. He gives you the strength to do this, we by ourselves can do nothing but we have an a great almighty god to help us, call upon his mighty name, he will help you through this, god died upon the cross for ALL your sins, past, present and future, all we can do is try to surrender it to him, and let him do the work, don't feel bad about what is happening, God knows your heart and your struggles, Romans 8 v1 says There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Take care and remember, a lot of your brothers and sisters through out the world are going through similar struggles, your not alone, god bless you

ajusti00 said:

I'm 20, I've been masturbating since I was 12, and have been battling it for three years.

I've read Every Man's Battle, all the Joshua Harris books, been through Sex Addicts Anonymous, and read those books, and talked to pastors and friends alike.

Nothing helps, or makes a dent for more than a week.

I'm just about ready to give up. It's destroying everything. I have no desire for the Word, no desire to pray, no desire to read any more books or go to church. I often think of wanting to die so I can be with Jesus. (But not thoughts of suicide, just to be clear).

Everything always talks about the new creation, and the power of prayer and the Holy Spirit, and the power of the Word. And yet it does nothing to this habit no matter how much I read or pray for release. I've tried to do it myself, and it didn't work, I've tried to do it "with God's help", and that didn't work either. So, I gave up and asked for God to do it for me, as some people say to do, and that didn't work either. I want so badly to conquer this.

I know Jesus died for me, and I've had evidence of salvation that I know He's with me. I know I'm a Christian. I would die for the Gospel, and I'll have faith in His death and resurrection forever.

But it feels like that's all there is. Just waiting for death to be free from sin.

Click to expand...

Among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people (Ephesians 5:3).

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body” (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).

This is all the more urgent, for you know how late it is; time is running out. Wake up, for our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here. So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes, and put on the shining armor of right living. Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don’t participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy. Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don’t let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires (Romans 13:11-14).

Read 1 Thessalonians 4:1-12 about "Living to Please God."

Remember, It is blasphemous to deliberately keep on sinning after you have already accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior. Read: Numbers 15:30, Hebrew 10:26-31, Hebrews 6:4-8, and 1 John 3:4-10.

I use to struggle a little bit on masturbation myself when I first came to Christ, but I only done it a few times, and than I stop, so you're not the only one who struggles against flesh and blood. Many self-proclaiming Christians struggles against flesh and blood, but the end result of it can be deadly.
I use to get chastised by the Lord through the spiritual realms for committing this act. No lie, I use to get punish by my Lord God for committing this act.
ONE OF THE SIGNS ARE: If you wake up from a nightmare only to find out that you can't move and that you are being pushed/pressed down against your bed or being under attack while you are under a trance, than that is the Lord God rebuking you. In Hebrews 12:4-13, it is stated that God's children will receive discipline. The punishment can be painful. You might wake up feeling suffocated in the spiritual realm. You might wake up being slammed down to the ground in the spiritual realm. And you might wake up hearing God whisper in your ear with warnings in the spiritual realm. Than all of the sudden, you wake up again to find out that you are on your bed in fear. READ VERSE: Job 33:14-30, Psalm 32:3-5, and Job 4:12-17.

It was scary and also painful. As I kept getting chastise in my sleep, I got a warning from God in my sleep saying that my time is up and that I will die at 7:05 o clock. I wasn't sure if I was going to die at p.m. or a.m. He just said I will die at 7:05 o clock. After I got out of the trance state in my sleep, I got scared and so I repent. After I repented, I no longer get chastisements from the Lord. I've been obedient ever since. I guess he gave me that vision because he knew that I didn't fear God, but ever since I have received that vision, I fear God now only when it comes to obedience.

Ecclesiastes 12:13 Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole [duty] of man.

I try my best to keep and obey God's commandments because that is his will for me.

Now that I am free from sin (meaning that I have stop sinning), my faith is always being tested whenever I am put under a deep sleep. So there are moments when I do receive perverted/sexual visions in which I have to go through these trials every so often. However, these perverted/sexual visions also helps relieve my sexual tensions because my Lord Jesus Christ helps me when I'm tempted by allowing these dreams/visions to put me into a spiritual arousal/ecstasy. I do not believe that God would allow these things to occur because he wants me to commit sin in my waking life. I believe that God allows these things to happen because he knows that testing my faith by leading me into temptation will help me learn how to endure and persevere in all my waking trials/temptations so that I do not have the desire to commit sin.

According to verse James 1:2-4, James says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

READ VERSE JAMES 1:13-15 AND 1 CORINTHIANS 10:13 WHICH SPEAKS ABOUT HOW GOD HELPS US WHEN TEMPTED:
James 1:13-15 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Read the whole chapter or the whole verse to 1 Corinthians 10:1-13 which speaks about "Warnings From Israel’s History."

Read Hebrews 2:14-18
Jesus Made Like His Brothers:

Hebrews 2:14-18 Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil— and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. For surely it is not angels he helps, but Abraham’s descendants. For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

Also read Hebrew 4:14-16
Jesus the Great High Priest:

Hebrew 4:14-16 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Like I stated, My Lord God helps me when I am tempted. So if my Lord God can do this for me, he can also do this for his children as well.

This is why Jesus stated, "Pray that you will not fall into temptation." (Luke 22:40)
That prayer can be found in verse (Matthew 6:10-13).

This is how you should pray: ‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.
Amen.’ (Matthew 6:10-13)

I will pray for you if masturbation is that much of a stumbling block for you.

I will say that I don't view it as a sin...I have problems with addiction to it and even then I don't notice that it destroys my life as much as it is yours, but not everyone has the same weakness. I do, however, think that addiction to it is sinful (mostly because it leads to other things), and actually physiologically hindering for when you have a sex life later on with your wife.

Didn't mean to get preachy or lecturing on you, just wanted to say something on it.

God bless.

ajusti00 said:

I'm 20, I've been masturbating since I was 12, and have been battling it for three years.

I've read Every Man's Battle, all the Joshua Harris books, been through Sex Addicts Anonymous, and read those books, and talked to pastors and friends alike.

Nothing helps, or makes a dent for more than a week.

I'm just about ready to give up. It's destroying everything. I have no desire for the Word, no desire to pray, no desire to read any more books or go to church. I often think of wanting to die so I can be with Jesus. (But not thoughts of suicide, just to be clear).

Everything always talks about the new creation, and the power of prayer and the Holy Spirit, and the power of the Word. And yet it does nothing to this habit no matter how much I read or pray for release. I've tried to do it myself, and it didn't work, I've tried to do it "with God's help", and that didn't work either. So, I gave up and asked for God to do it for me, as some people say to do, and that didn't work either. I want so badly to conquer this.

I know Jesus died for me, and I've had evidence of salvation that I know He's with me. I know I'm a Christian. I would die for the Gospel, and I'll have faith in His death and resurrection forever.

But it feels like that's all there is. Just waiting for death to be free from sin.

Click to expand...

I'm 19 and am struggling with the exact same thing. Your description sounds a lot like mine. I have abstained from time to time, but it actually causes a lot of discomfort and pain when I do not. It is so difficult to get out of the hole but I believe one day the power of Christ will help you and I and many other who struggle overcome it. God Bless!! I will pray for you and many other that go through this struggle.

I also battle masturbation. I started masturbating when I was 10 years old. Now I’m 30 and I have a personal testimony of victory in Christ. I recently completed a period of more than two months without masturbating and I hope I'll never touch again. During these 20 years I could only stay for two periods of 29 days free of masturbation. I used to touch daily from 10-25, then I reduce to weekly and two years ago since I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior I reduced to every 15 days (a couple of times a month). Now I’m more than two months without masturbating. I admit that for many times I lost hope that I would conquer this sin and wanted to die also, but God is almighty and He is working in our lives in His time.
As you can see I got an addiction to masturbation, because of my story of life (grew up in a dysfunctional family). I do believe that Jesus can recover anything in our lives. I still feel sometimes urge to touch but I Know God is with me and help me not to give in this sin.
If you want to talk more you can email me.

Bless you.

Does the scripture explicitly condemn masturbation? The answer is no so saying it is wrong is missing the point.

What we do can be occasional or it can be compulsive and I really believe what makes it a sin is if you believe it to be so and in all probability it is of a compulsive nature.

If that is the case, the focus needs to be on why it is compulsive as that will give you the clue to why it happens.

Like most things, we need to deal with the root not the fruit. Like most things the church tries to deal with the fruit, not the root.

So what is the root? Without fear of contradiction, I would say the root is rejection. When our childhood throws up emotional tension and instability, a comfort blanket is usually created to compensate for it.

This takes many different forms, one of which is compulsive masturbation. Once we know why we do it we can address not doing it.

I believe that with compulsive masturbation you deal with it one day at a time. Don't try and stop it. Try and stop it for one day. If it happens the next day, no problem.

if you approach it a day at a time and don't go on a guilt trip when it does happen, you are going to start developing emotional security in yourself that will enable you to see it for what it is and enable you to build your emotional storage that can be drawn on. The time will come when you will want to touch but you don't as you tell yourself you don't need that to meet your emotional needs.

if any prayer is involved, it is a case of Lord heal me from the emotional trauma that I experienced in my childhood that has led to this and enable me to embrace your loving care which I have difficulty in doing. You don't need to talk about masturbation as that is not the issue.

if you think God is mad at you because of this, forget it. The scripture is quite clear. He does not deal with us according to our sins but according to his loving kindness.

StevenK said:

I will pray for you if masturbation is that much of a stumbling block for you.

I will say that I don't view it as a sin...I have problems with addiction to it and even then I don't notice that it destroys my life as much as it is yours, but not everyone has the same weakness. I do, however, think that addiction to it is sinful (mostly because it leads to other things), and actually physiologically hindering for when you have a sex life later on with your wife.

Didn't mean to get preachy or lecturing on you, just wanted to say something on it.

God bless.

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Hi Steven and thanks for having the courage to admit your masturbation struggles. One thing I have learned and as painful as it is to admit I also struggled with porn and masturbation for many years now until I almost lost everything in my family. Steven, self gratification is really a selfish act we can do and takes away the purity of sexual lust . Our bodies are the temple of the holy spirit so either we are satisfying the flesh or using our bodies as an instrument of worship to him. Yes, masturbation IS a sin since it leads to other lustful thoughts and practices. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body," 1 corinthians 6:19-20. Steven it is your attitude on this problem of masturbation or you wouldn't be here right? Hope this will shed light on this horrible practice and let's honor our bodies for the Lord.