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Loving the Addicted and Fallen

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MaFunk

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Last night my family and I went to a 50's theme burger place for dinner. In walked two women in their early twenties. They were 'tweakers', obviously high on Crystal Meth, rail thin, and acting strange. At first I was startled by them, then I said a loving prayer for them and wished them relief from the childhod hurts, pain and lonliness that may have driven them to substance abuse and other forms of self destructive behavior.

There was another couple eating there, and the wife looked at the girls with such contempt. It really saddened me. These girls need compassion and love to improve their circumstances. Contempt will only weaken them and drive them deeper into the fringes of society and the folds of self destruction.

Another time I was at the bank and this tweaker guy came in to cash a check. He was tweaking, but still polite. The girl at the counter was so mean to him. I wouldn't marry the guy or anything, but I don't see any reason to treat him like he is not a person.

Jesus loved and forgave the fallen. TRULY loved them, without judgement or self grandizing pity. I try my hardest to do the same. When I feel the urge to stare or judge, I remind myself that, regardless of their behaviour, the other is a person who wants love and acceptance just as much as I do.

I just wanted to share that.
 
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ephraimanesti

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GLORY TO OUR GOD FOR HIS GIFT OF LOVING CHILDREN SUCH AS YOURSELF. MAY YOU BE BLESSED AND MAY YOUR LOVE BE CONTAGEOUS!

MUCH LOVE IN CHRIST TO YOU AND YOURS,
ephraimanesti
 
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Serenity432001

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Thanks for sharing that! I have found that most people that have contempt for others sometimes do not understand their own need for Jesus. I have to constantly remind myself that I am no better or no worse than anyone else. It wasn't untill I was able to see my own need & my own powerlessness that I was able to have compassion for others. Now, it is actually much easier for me to be compassionate to the drug addict or alcoholic than it is to the self-righteous and arrogant and I have to remind myself that God loves them also and they need compassion as well but they are the most difficult ones for me to do that for if that makes any sense.
 
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MaFunk

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Yes, I totally understand.
 
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If Not For Grace

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What advice do you all have for those in relationships with addicts? Should you stay with someone who is lying to you, stealing from you and just plain using you? Should you seek to have them committed and placed in rehab? Or Just pray for God to help you love them in spite of their difficulty? Or would you just shake the dust off your feet and move on?
 
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Serenity432001

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I personally would recommend going to al-anon. It's a recovery group for family members and they will help you with those questions and how to set boundaries. No one can really answer those questions for you. It is important to realize you can not change them but you can get help for yourself on how to deal with your situation. Only you can decide if you want to live that way and stay in that relationship. I also highly recommend the 12 steps for family members and people in relationships with addicts/alcoholics. Good luck to you!
 
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MaFunk

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My reccomendation is to do ALL of the following:
Leave Them
Encourage Them To Seek Counseling
Pray for Them

Only take them back once they have made progress.

While I think that we should recognize the beauty in ALL people, I do not think that we should drag ourselves down by staying in relationships with people who are hurting us or are children

My Aunt was married to an alcoholic for years. He only got sober after she left him and demanded that the get FULL RECOVERY before she even consider taking him back.
 
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If Not For Grace

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My reccomendation is to do ALL of the following:
Leave Them
Encourage Them To Seek Counseling
Pray for Them
Click to expand...

THE Truth. I have been a member of Alanon for years and I have never heard it put better. I was just asking to see what response(S) I would get.

Even in AA they w/tell you to change your playmates, I don't know why the same issue is skirted so often in Alanon.

Bless you--I wish you were in my on-line and home group.
 
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shye

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more people shouldact like you
 
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ArmouredSaint

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Funny isn't it? Hard to like the wasted yet many of us are right there with them. I see alot of my fellow Native American people wasted beyond sight. I am disgusted with them one day and feel pity the next. I wish I could find more heart and actually say I love them. It's a very hard thing to do when they're disrespectful and a sight to look at. I often wonder if God hides in them,have you ever wondered this? I surely believe those of us that show them compassion are smiled upon. I'm just not there yet.
 
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If Not For Grace

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IMHO I Think the Key is Detachment.


One must learn to feel compassion without being "run-over" by it. The same as when a co-worker's family member dies. The co-worker is sad. I am compassionate, because I know what loss is, but I Don't have to "feel their pain" to realize I can show a little extra kindness without having to "loan" my car, lie, deny or look down my nose at them or think things like "don't you know death is a part of life". Define what "help" is before you offer it. "The poor will always be with you" is not an unkind statement.
 
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