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  • CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.

Lonely christian in College faces temptation.

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Superman117

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Greetings, my christian brothers and sisters.


I am a normal man (19 years old) who was raised in a normal family. I have parents a who love each other and are still together after 20 years of marriage.
I have a beloved little sister. I have a nice dog named Marquis.

I am a stranger to those who know me. They dont know the real me.

I am not sure what to make of myself. Sometimes I have strange feelings. Most of the time i am like any gentleman my age. I like the beautiful ladies and want to meet them. I feel attracted to them. Women are great and complete men and we need each other and I respect them. Yet sometimes I feel things i should not feel for members of my own gender. I have been strongly attracted to girls in the past, gone on dates and even been in love. Twice. Yet I feel these feelings from time to time. I tried talking to a professional about it and he called me a bisexual. I do NOT want to be one of those men who shame their families and abandon them to lead a despicable lifestyle. I am alone right now and sometimes I cry myself to sleep. To end the loneliness, I joined a 7th Day Adventist church and go there fairly often. I met people there.
I met a nice girl named Cassandra who seemed interested in me and I was attracted to her and wanted to know her and get her number like a normal guy would. Then our pastor spoke of the evils of Homosexuality and my heart beat faster and i felt scared and terrified.


I go to college in Boston and there are lots of gays and lesbians there. I dont hate them. I accept them. But I have no desire to join their world.
Yet sometimes it's like it's calling me. I am not sure what to do. When people make homophobic remarks about gays, I feel angry. I dont like homophobes. At school, I keep to myself. I happen to be tall and athletic and not at all like the effeminate stereotypes so no one knows
my secret shame and I am left alone. I am alone and without someone to love. I am still a virgin and badly want to experience love.

Is there an end to my loneliness anywhere in sight ?
 
I

Iddie4him

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I'm not sure what to say other than, Are you comfortable with your current lifestyle ?
You say you like girls, But, You feel things for members of the same sex....
I think that it's a matter of what you feel is right and that you say you have no desire to engage in homosexual lifestyle. This doesn't mean that you are gay or bisexual if you have healthy desires for girls and sometimes have these feelings for guys too. I think that if you acted on these feelings, That it would be a different matter.
i'm praying right now for the right thing to say and not sound as if I am condemning anyone. That is the last thing I want to do. There is so much I want to say, But, I can't find the right words. I will be praying for you that you can find the inner fortitude to stay strong and resist these feelings that you admit are unhealthy. If you like, you can send me a PM and let me know how things are going and just to talk.
 
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Staind

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Many males have homosexual urges or desires at some point in their lives and atleast once, it's not uncommon. If you're against homosexuality then stick with this girl Cassandra, she sounds very nice and you should be happy together.

Another problem might be the fact that since homosexuality seems to be a common thing, maybe you're becoming too used to the idea or too exposed. I've noticed that even after watching some TV shows I use to think "wow that lifestyle seems a little cool" but I don't agree with it, at all. The media and others present homosexuality to be a great thing, which it is not.

good luck!
 
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fishstix

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It is one thing to have feelings; it is another thing to act on them. What really matters here is what you choose to do with those feelings that you are having. Feelings themselves do not make you a homosexual or even bisexual. It's up to you to decide what you are going to do. You say that you are a virgin - that's awesome and very cool. You say that you badly want to experience love. I'm not sure how you mean the word love here, and I'm hoping that you're not just using it as a euphemism for sex, since there is a lot more to love than just sex. Perhaps it would help you to read about love and sexuality in the Bible. There is a whole lot about those subjects in there. I'll let you read about it rather than lecturing you on it here

As far as the loneliness goes - I know how lonely college can be. It seems that you have already tried to do something constructive about this by going to church. Perhaps clubs, sports, etc. might help you to meet people too. It didn't work for me, but you're already ahead of me by having met someone at church, so you're definitely not hopeless at meeting people If you can build a few healthy friendships it will go a long way towards easing that feeling of loneliness, even if you don't have a romantic relationship for a while yet. So try to focus on friendships first and let the boyfriend-girlfriend stuff come later.
 
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Protestant Minister

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I wasn't going to write a response to you.As I read your statement,it seemed to me that you really don't have a significant problem.You will not be guilty of homosexuality unless you engage in it.Being mentally attracted to guys doesm't count.Your statement makes it clear that once you find the right girl,your problem will largely disappear.

But your last two sentences ihave me worried.Lonliness causes people to engage in gross immorality because it creates a horrible feeling that keeps eating at you.You need to become socially active to overcome your lonliness.It looks like you're socially isolating yourself due to feelimgs of shame.Once you get out in society,you should find all sorts of girls who will throw themselves at your tall athletic self.I'm certain your college has a number of organizations or campus clubs you will enjoy once you get into them.If your college doesn't have a CAMPUS CRUSADE FOR CHRIST,call some other colleges and ask if you can join their chapter.

Ok now here's the line that has me worried about you:"I am still a virgin and I badly want to experience love"I hope the problem is my over-active imagination rather than your desire for a sexual relationship.Pre-marital sex is just as severe a sin as homosexuality in God's mind and both sins condemn those who practice these perversions to hell.(1 Corinthians 6:9-10)If you become socially active, and eliminate your lonliness you won't feel the compulsion to become sexually active..Definitely the way to go!
 
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E-beth

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Hi

You know, I think the one thing you said is what makes everyone equal...I want to experience love.

Hey, don't be in a big hurry, so much of a hurry that you fall too easily or with the wrong person. The need to feel loved has made many a man and woman make very wrong choices, including yours truly.

Pray that God will send you the right woman to love and be loved. Strive to be the person you want to be. Hang out with the church crowd, and study the Word and study your school stuff. Relax and know that everything happens in God's perfect timing and in His perfect way.

I am praying for you, mostly that you won't be so lonely and that God's perfect peace is made very real to you this day.
 
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rippedfuel

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I am glad to hear you have not acted out with others of the same sex. What is happening to you, as others have alreadys said, happens to many.

I want to lovingly, and out of genuine care for your future, invite you to visit my Yahoo profile and there you will have an option to view my briefcase where there is my testimony and many other of my favorite documents related to homosexuality.

As one who use to fully embrace the homosexual lifestyle openly for many years and now am free from it I can tell you from years of experience it is not what you were created to be. Another man will never give you the love you seek....NEVER. God did not intend it that way from the very beginning. As an added note, and one thing you will never see in the news except to belittle it, is just how many thousands of men and women there are who are trapped in this lifestyle that are wanting out of it and successfully getting out of it.

My Yahoo ID is rippedfuel02. You can also get there easily by just clicking on my username above and then clicking on the url in my Christian Forums profile.

God Bless!!
 
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