- Jan 9, 2021
- 105
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- United States
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I stumbled across an enlightening article about the dangers of many kinds of meditation, a practice that ostensibly seems benign and wholesomely healthy. Because it is stressful and unnatural in the first place to bring about the states of mind these meditations seek to develop, heightened stress levels, emotional disturbances, and emotional outbursts instead of peace and stillness are, paradoxically, characteristic negative outcomes of meditation centered around mindfulness and especially quietness of thoughts, inner stillness, and emptiness of self. It is possible to even experience psychosis and schizophrenia from meditation. Also, it is suspect that negative experiences from the aforementioned meditation practices can come about from them making one more susceptible to demonic influence.
Whatever the case is, stopping these meditation practices, adopting healthier Christian meditations or abandoning meditation altogether for a while and turning instead to Jesus as Lord and Savior will prevent further exacerbation from previously practiced meditation styles. With many non-christian-based meditation styles, it seems the reverse of what is intended happens, as opposed to a Christian form of meditation on prayer and scripture. This is healthy meditation that seeks to deepen faith and/or provide insight, taking little to no forced "discipline" or training because it is so natural. Nothing in the mind or awareness needs to be forced in place as with meditation that seeks to train or discipline the mind.
Now, as for me, I had stopped meditation for the most part after my first psychosis, but even so, the enduring disorder of schizophrenia (and bi-polar, together being schizoaffective disorder) remained and it was too late for me to do anything about that as of until now at least. Still, I did not get worse or need heavier doses of medication for the most part. Before, I tried my hardest to seek enlightenment and nirvana at a young age from doing meditation, forcing my thoughts to become quiet, emptying myself, and trying to become mindful to the point of noticing everything going on at once. Looking back, what I was doing to my mind was what came out of the psychosis. For two years up until psychosis, increasingly, I couldn't think clearly, I was really foggy mentally, I was hyper-sensitive/hyper-alert/hyper-vigilant, and I couldn't sleep for weeks leading up to the psychosis.
So, looking at the evidence, I wasn't an emotional wreck on the way into psychosis after a rough childhood, but after the intensive meditation of my late teenage and early twenties. I was fine until then. I have only realized the dangers of meditation now, which finally brings closure to my enduring embitterment from thinking I got mental illness from childhood emotional and physical bullying and abuse. I would still blame something outside of myself for not knowing beforehand the dangers of meditation, but I had opportunity then to become Christian and do Christian instead of "eastern" meditation in search of enlightenment instead of Jesus. So my bad for not accepting Christ when I could have back then.
I look forward and pray for a healing of my mind. I am doing all of my part with great priority towards that so that I may be efficacious, but I expect nothing from God if it is not His will after all that I've complained and bickered about the hand of cards I was dealt, not instead counting my blessings. I have repented of my bitterness towards God and hope He forgives me for the blasphemous thoughts and words I've said against Him. Deep regrets, especially when other Christians tried to help me but I lashed out at them in my unbelief and anger towards God, not knowing the hurt I may have done them. If there is a price I must pay, gladly I will. If it means I can't fully heal from schizoaffective disorder or do all that I want to do in this life, no problem. If it means I will definitely go to Hell and perish, I will love God and serve others until my time has come.
I repent in dust and ashes, I confess with my tongue and bow my knee to God Almighty like I knew I would eventually do when I willfully knew and did wrong and blasphemed in bitterness against God Almighty. Glory to Him forever and ever, amen! I hope my testimony gives hope or helps prevent someone from lashing out against God or others over a plight. In this fallen, twisted world, the truth may not easily come but with lots of faith and love for the all-Good and faithful God, so be careful not to believe a lie that turns you against God like it did me. It took me years to really put my faith in Jesus Christ and come to the realization of that truth, so I urge anyone reading this and struggling to always be faithful that God is Good, and, beyond His tremendous Grace, just and fair.
Whatever the case is, stopping these meditation practices, adopting healthier Christian meditations or abandoning meditation altogether for a while and turning instead to Jesus as Lord and Savior will prevent further exacerbation from previously practiced meditation styles. With many non-christian-based meditation styles, it seems the reverse of what is intended happens, as opposed to a Christian form of meditation on prayer and scripture. This is healthy meditation that seeks to deepen faith and/or provide insight, taking little to no forced "discipline" or training because it is so natural. Nothing in the mind or awareness needs to be forced in place as with meditation that seeks to train or discipline the mind.
Now, as for me, I had stopped meditation for the most part after my first psychosis, but even so, the enduring disorder of schizophrenia (and bi-polar, together being schizoaffective disorder) remained and it was too late for me to do anything about that as of until now at least. Still, I did not get worse or need heavier doses of medication for the most part. Before, I tried my hardest to seek enlightenment and nirvana at a young age from doing meditation, forcing my thoughts to become quiet, emptying myself, and trying to become mindful to the point of noticing everything going on at once. Looking back, what I was doing to my mind was what came out of the psychosis. For two years up until psychosis, increasingly, I couldn't think clearly, I was really foggy mentally, I was hyper-sensitive/hyper-alert/hyper-vigilant, and I couldn't sleep for weeks leading up to the psychosis.
So, looking at the evidence, I wasn't an emotional wreck on the way into psychosis after a rough childhood, but after the intensive meditation of my late teenage and early twenties. I was fine until then. I have only realized the dangers of meditation now, which finally brings closure to my enduring embitterment from thinking I got mental illness from childhood emotional and physical bullying and abuse. I would still blame something outside of myself for not knowing beforehand the dangers of meditation, but I had opportunity then to become Christian and do Christian instead of "eastern" meditation in search of enlightenment instead of Jesus. So my bad for not accepting Christ when I could have back then.
I look forward and pray for a healing of my mind. I am doing all of my part with great priority towards that so that I may be efficacious, but I expect nothing from God if it is not His will after all that I've complained and bickered about the hand of cards I was dealt, not instead counting my blessings. I have repented of my bitterness towards God and hope He forgives me for the blasphemous thoughts and words I've said against Him. Deep regrets, especially when other Christians tried to help me but I lashed out at them in my unbelief and anger towards God, not knowing the hurt I may have done them. If there is a price I must pay, gladly I will. If it means I can't fully heal from schizoaffective disorder or do all that I want to do in this life, no problem. If it means I will definitely go to Hell and perish, I will love God and serve others until my time has come.
I repent in dust and ashes, I confess with my tongue and bow my knee to God Almighty like I knew I would eventually do when I willfully knew and did wrong and blasphemed in bitterness against God Almighty. Glory to Him forever and ever, amen! I hope my testimony gives hope or helps prevent someone from lashing out against God or others over a plight. In this fallen, twisted world, the truth may not easily come but with lots of faith and love for the all-Good and faithful God, so be careful not to believe a lie that turns you against God like it did me. It took me years to really put my faith in Jesus Christ and come to the realization of that truth, so I urge anyone reading this and struggling to always be faithful that God is Good, and, beyond His tremendous Grace, just and fair.
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