Is it ok to go camping with your gf/bf?

Assisi · Mar 23, 2007

Wow! I'm really shocked by the results of this poll, the majority of people think it's okay to go camping alone with someone you're dating.

Do you think that people our parents age would vote the same way on the poll? What about our pastors? I know that all pastors in my Church (Catholic) teach that it's wrong...just curious.

miss_klara · Mar 23, 2007

Paddington said:
I think if YOU know that you're not doing anything wrong and you're not going to then it doesn't really matter what other people think. It's about what God *knows* you're doing not what other people *think* you're doing!

I don't really agree with this. Biblically, we're called to be beyond reproach, which means not only doing the right thing, but being seen to be doing the right thing. No, it's not peoples' business what you guys actually do. But whatever they see, and take examples from, is actually their business. It's a responsibility that God has placed on all of us, as functioning members of His body, that our actions should serve to edify and build each other up.

Besides all that, going camping is not the be-all-and-end-all in getting to know each other. There are millions of ways to spend time together in a way that would set great examples to other young Christian couples. A picnic, an hour-long drive to spend the day in another town, playing sport together... these are just some of the ways you can learn heaps about each other. They're fun, they're public, and there's no way people can look at the situation for anything more than you guys are making of it.

The reason I feel so passionately about this is because I made that choice. It bites. I'd LOVE to spend every second weekend at my boyfriend's holiday house, or to stay the night curled up next to him in bed occasionally. But for the sake of the youth group kids, as well as my fellow young Christian couples, I've made the hard decision to sit it out. Does it have anything to do with my concerns for our purity? Nope. I know as well as any girl in a relationship that you don't need a bed/tent to feel temptation. Has my relationship suffered because of this choice? Absolutely not! It means we're really looking forward to sharing those first experiences in marriage.

I'm always going to advise against this kinda thing. I'm not judging here, because I have the same trouble, I'm just offering my humble opinion

Nobility · Mar 23, 2007

I'd advise against it. I have been there (it was only for a night, but we went on 2-3 day vacations together often) - and it is hard.

However, one good suggestion would be find another christian couple, and bring two tents. Good way to get to know friends more too including your SO.

princessellie · Mar 29, 2007

im now in the same boat, my SO and i are both 20 and have been together for over 12 months, we have decieded to go camping over the easter weekend but now cant go unless we have some one else there with us, we have asked all our friends to find out that they are all busy, what do we do, do we give in to the parents and not go or do we disobay them and go without their blessing, we are really stuck between a rock and an extremely hard place as i stay at his home with his parents most weekends and he doesnt have his own car he shares one with his dad . . . HELP

Blank123 · Mar 29, 2007

princessellie said:
im now in the same boat, my SO and i are both 20 and have been together for over 12 months, we have decieded to go camping over the easter weekend but now cant go unless we have some one else there with us, we have asked all our friends to find out that they are all busy, what do we do, do we give in to the parents and not go or do we disobay them and go without their blessing, we are really stuck between a rock and an extremely hard place as i stay at his home with his parents most weekends and he doesnt have his own car he shares one with his dad . . . HELP

why not just postpone it until you have some friends who are able to go with you? I know camping is fun but as long as you get to spend that weekend together whether it be out in the woods somewhere or at home does it really matter that much? Together is together.

Tenorvoice · Mar 29, 2007

If you two are going alone I would have to say no. Now like a couple others have said if another couple or a family was going with you and you both were in seperate tents then I se no problem with it.

If I learned one thing from my last Sr. Pastor, it was to gaurd your (and her) testimony from even a teeny tinny hint of any accusation being brought against you (or her). You should be going to extra lengths to ensure that no one could accuse either one of you of doing anything that you are not supposed to be doing outside of marriage.

Please gaurd your testimonies, they are the stongest witness that we ahve in this world. And the lost world is just looking for an excuse to condem us and throw it back in our face.

Emmaleuk · Mar 29, 2007

I would say no....there's too much temptation involved. I'm sure that even the most disciplined person could feel tempted in such a situation.
Be wise

Briseis · Mar 30, 2007

You are supposed to make a good example, and even if you dont do anything in that tent, everyone will assume you are regular ppl, not Christians. That is not what if means to be a Christian, to blend in. Do you not know another couple you could go with, and then have a girls tent, and a guys tent?

somethingBEAUTIFUL · Mar 31, 2007

I used to think this sort of thing would be ok for a number of reasons, all of which have been mentioned, when I was with my then-boyfriend. We never went on any overnight trips together though. But over the past year, I've thought about things like this a lot. If it were me, I'd definitely take along at least another guy and girl, maybe even several friends, and be sure the guys had one tent and the girls their own as well.

~Beauty_from_Pain~ · Mar 31, 2007

If this is a really big deal you could put up two tents. Yet, I don't see anything wrong with going camping together.

BeautifulDestiny09 · Apr 2, 2007

Like Assisi said, I'm shocked that most people think its okay! Like some others said, if it was just more than you two it wouldnt be so bad. But a trip alone for a WEEK? not only is it tempting, but it does make others question what you are doing!
Trust me I want to do the whole trips together and other things but now I know I HAVE to wait til marriage...even the strongest couples fall occasionally...and if you're in any kind of leadership position in a ministry I would DEFINITELY say no!

A2597 · Apr 3, 2007

whow...what gives people?

We are told to avoid even the appearance of evil...and like it or not, this looks bad. Even the OP said it would look bad.

Not to mention the temptation part...but seriously...just don't do it. I mean, c'mon, you had to ASK about it? That tells me in your heart the Holy Spirit is telling you that it is wrong, and you are looking for earthly advice as an excuse to not listen to what He is telling you!

ilovelucyMT · Apr 3, 2007

Honey, going camping is not something bad. Its camping!!! People are going to think what they want even if you don't go camping. They are going to think things just because y'all are dating!

It is perfectly fine to go camping with your boyfriend!! Have fun!!

pepperfish · Apr 3, 2007

ilovelucyMT said:
Honey, going camping is not something bad. Its camping!!! People are going to think what they want even if you don't go camping. They are going to think things just because y'all are dating!

It is perfectly fine to go camping with your boyfriend!! Have fun!!

Yeah exactly. I know plenty of my friends/acquaintances who think my SO and I are sexually active simply because we're young. It has nothing to do with our actions, and everything to do with their personal beliefs and attitudes. Most of the people I went to school with had no problem with premarital sex, and it becomes easy to just assume that every young couple is having sex.

Even if I didn't have sleepovers with my boyfriend, others would assume we were having premarital sex. It's not my problem - as long as the "important" people know that nothing naughty is going on (meaning our parents, and our closest friends who know us well enough to know that we are waiting until marriage). Other than that, if someone wants to think that we're having premarital sex, that's up to them.

A2597 · Apr 3, 2007

Thats not the point.

The point is, we are called to be above reproach.

Obviously, this failed that test.

Assisi · Apr 3, 2007

The world should be able to see that Christians are different. Making it clear to them can often be the first step on the road to their salvation.

The reason why it matters what other people think is because the Bible says so. The Bible says we should not lead others to sin (which is what happens when we set a bad example and allow people to make assumptions), it would be better for us to be drowned with a millstone around our neck than to lead others to sin! Why would you do something which will lead people to make assumptions and possibly follow those assumptions through with their own behaviour in the future?

Please please please do not share a room, a bed, or a tent. The damage you do to the younger Christians you know is huge, I find it very difficult to try to get young Christians to see the value of waiting for marriage if they have seen other Christians act as though they are not waiting (regardless of whether they did or not).

Let me give you an example. A friend of mine, a Christian, began to live with his girlfriend. When I confronted him about it he said it was ok because they were not having sex. Now two of his younger siblings are sexually active and they say, 'well, it's ok for my brother, and he's a good Christian'. No matter how many times he says to them he wasn't having sex with his girlfriend, they cannot believe him, his actions say otherwise. I also know of several young people who know him who are sexually involved more than they should be who look up to this guy. He has no power to talk to them about it, and worse, he has lessened the power of other Christians to talk to them about it too. I am not saying that the sin is not primarily their own, because it is, but this guy has helped them on the road to sin.

Do you want to be the kind of person who helps people on the road to sin?

Blank123 · Apr 3, 2007

pepperfish said:
Yeah exactly. I know plenty of my friends/acquaintances who think my SO and I are sexually active simply because we're young. It has nothing to do with our actions, and everything to do with their personal beliefs and attitudes. Most of the people I went to school with had no problem with premarital sex, and it becomes easy to just assume that every young couple is having sex.

Even if I didn't have sleepovers with my boyfriend, others would assume we were having premarital sex. It's not my problem - as long as the "important" people know that nothing naughty is going on (meaning our parents, and our closest friends who know us well enough to know that we are waiting until marriage). Other than that, if someone wants to think that we're having premarital sex, that's up to them.

so because the assumptions already exist by some people there's no point in attempting to live your life so as to be above reproach? that makes perfect sense

ilovelucyMT · Apr 7, 2007

pepperfish said:
Yeah exactly. I know plenty of my friends/acquaintances who think my SO and I are sexually active simply because we're young. It has nothing to do with our actions, and everything to do with their personal beliefs and attitudes. Most of the people I went to school with had no problem with premarital sex, and it becomes easy to just assume that every young couple is having sex.

Even if I didn't have sleepovers with my boyfriend, others would assume we were having premarital sex. It's not my problem - as long as the "important" people know that nothing naughty is going on (meaning our parents, and our closest friends who know us well enough to know that we are waiting until marriage). Other than that, if someone wants to think that we're having premarital sex, that's up to them.

Exactly!! Girl, Let me tell you the funniest story. Not something I am proud of but I was at a breaking point with this one.

One of my friends and I went riding around with like 4 other guys. Thats 4 guys and 2 girls. We were all close friends and such, but the next day a rumor got out that we had sex with ALL 4 of them that night. LOL. We tried to tell them the truth, but NOOOO no one would listen to us. Well the week went on and the rumors got bigger and we were really tired of hearing it all the time and tell them over and over it wasn't true. FINALLY, the next weekend or so we were at a friends house and someone called her wanting to know if it was true. She told us who it was and what she wanted so we told her to tell the girl that it WAS true and it was good. LOL. After all the girls thought it was true (most of the guys knew the truth) we were the hot shots of the town. We slept with the hottest guys in the entire town and all the girls were jelous! Well at least they stopped talking about it!!

We all still laugh at that little problem even my parents and I. They heard about the rumors but knew they wasn't true once they heard them. They just laughed. Our town is bad on rumors. UGH

Anyways, point is people are going to talk because rumors are fun to them. Ya de ya de ya! I wasn't a very devout Christian then so of course it wasn't the right choice to say it was true when it really wasn't. And yes I even regret that I said it was true, but the people in my life knows its not true and the guys families knows its not true so I really just laugh at it! LOL. Regret it but laugh.

Weasel7711 · Apr 8, 2007

i find that most of the older people on this thread (and probably wiser) are tending to say no to the whole "camping with your SO" deal and the younger (generally under 20) group is saying do what feels right...

if i havent already changed my original post im going to side with the old dudes on this one, it's not the greatest idea

TeslaZ · Apr 11, 2007

BeautifulDestiny09 said:
Like Assisi said, I'm shocked that most people think its okay! Like some others said, if it was just more than you two it wouldnt be so bad. But a trip alone for a WEEK? not only is it tempting, but it does make others question what you are doing!
Trust me I want to do the whole trips together and other things but now I know I HAVE to wait til marriage...even the strongest couples fall occasionally...and if you're in any kind of leadership position in a ministry I would DEFINITELY say no!

it says what type of faith ya have in eachother. don't be alarmed..some of us have that.

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