intimate apparel

jtroth · Aug 19, 2003

although intiamte apperal is nice who wants to spend the money on somethign that ends up on the floor anyways. I have bought some and I like it and all but I know I feel comforable with my husband and I know that he is with me. I like to surprise my husband but yet hth stuff is so expensive. That is just my thought though.

GREG · Aug 19, 2003

slimfish said:
I think you should be thankful that you got 5 years of lingerie (sp?). My wife quit wearing those special garments after the honeymoon. Seriously, I barely got 5 days of lingerie, but this isn't about me. I think that it is probably pretty normal for women to stop wearing lingerie after a period of time. Whatever the cause, be thankful that she agreed to spend the rest of her life with you. Godbless.

im with you here............ I know all about this post

JillLars · Aug 20, 2003

Its fun to wear lingerie and other sexy things, but I don't know many women who wear it to go to sleep in. They may wear it to *bed* but not to *sleep*. Your wife may feel silly putting it on and coming to bed if you are both getting ready to *sleep*. I think if you plan a special night that you know will end in *bed* your wife will be more inclined to wear something special for you, after all it should be special on a special night, otherwise, it'd just be normal, and not nearly as exciting. Hope that helps!

Yitzchak · Aug 20, 2003

My Opinion. It is important for both to work at romance in the marriage. romance of course meaning more than just one specific aspect of romance. What that means to you as a couple may change over time.
The real question is not whether things have changed. But rather has the relationship grown or gotten worse for the changes. Every relationship in life undergoes change, marriage included. I have no idea whether this specific issue of night time clothes is a common area for there to be this type of change.
Myself, if I want something of my wife, I ask her for it. Her wearing nighties has never been that important to me. Her loving me and wanting to please me is important to me.
In my marriage a lot of changes happened because of having children. Nighttime feedings, interruptions, etc. maybe it is just a practical matter for her.

Matthew Hobbs · Aug 20, 2003

49erfan -

Suck it up, man. I've been married only two years, and except on nights when my wife decides to surprise me, she wears the exact same thing to bed - boxers and T-shirts. When we were dating, and I'd be at her place while she was getting ready for bed, she'd put on - you guessed it - boxers and a T-shirt.

But it's cool. I wear my boxers to bed every night, too. Why should I expect her to do any differently? Like some other people have said, I can't imagine that lingerie is all the comfortable to sleep in.

In short, if you're really that concerned about this, something else might be the issue you need to confront.

guru · Aug 20, 2003

My misses likes to wear interesting stuff, but then covers herself with the blanket.

DOZ · Aug 15, 2005

I have to say, that I'm sure there are many things that filter into this. Do you have small children or children in the home? It is hard to wear "intimate apparel" when you have a houseful or little ones under feet. Plainly, it's just more comfortable - have you asked her? ]

Redguard · Aug 15, 2005

Who decided to blow the dust off of THIS thread? June 2003? Wow!

MERCY@GRACE · Aug 15, 2005

Wow, I thought posts fell off, after it reached a certain page! This forum does seem to have a bit of a turnover though.......

bliz · Aug 15, 2005

Guys, are you aware that a lot of sexy nightwear is downright uncomfortable? What looks great on your wife coming to bed, can keep her awake all night long!

That's not to say that a wardrobe of, shall we say, "playwear" and a seperate wardrobe of sleepware may be in order...

Silent Enigma · Aug 15, 2005

Hmmm, my wife wears sexy underwear all the time. We've been married almost 9 years, too.

christalee4 · Aug 15, 2005

49erfan said:
I've been married seven years. About two years ago my wife stopped wearing intimate apparel to bed. Now she just wears cotton boxers and a top (in warmer months) or a flannel nightgown (in the winter). I miss the idea that she was preparing herself for fun in bed.

Is this a common thing in marriage? If so, why?

This is such a funny question.

49er: what YOU wearing to bed to get her excited?

Maybe you have also become complacent. She is probably tired from doing all the work.

I recommend getting some silk boxers, or a silk pouch, or a see through short robe for men, and put on a show for HER. Then, maybe you will start her interests and juices a flowin' and be less like a guy who is sitting at a strip club, waiting for the show....

acodno · Aug 17, 2005

IslandBreeze said:
You have GOT to be kidding me. It is absolutely NOT normal for women to stop wearing lingerie and/or trying to be sexy for their husbands. That shows lack of effort on a woman's part, and nothing more IMHO. He should NOT be 'thankful' that his wife wore lingerie for him. Husbands and wives should go out of their way to please their spouse. Lingerie takes such little, little efffort. The way you talk, he should settle for a lifetime of not being pleased by his wife. I believe that's unacceptable. I'm sorry that your wife is not interested in making an effort for you, but I think not making an effort in a marriage is morally wrong.

You can't really say any of that not knowing their situation personally. He might not expect it of his wife, he might just enjoy it and wonder why she stopped. You also don't know if he is doing everything he can do to make her happy. No women should EVER have to do anything she does not want to do when it comes to sex or what she wears. The only exception to that is if she were committing a sin. Anyway there are a lot of things that could be said about that, but the point is you cannot make a judgment of her without knowing the situation completely (both sides).

philknowles · Aug 18, 2005

does anyone know of good sites with intimate apparel? I want to buy my wife some. Oh, she asked me to.

bigat · Aug 18, 2005

lingerie is only good for one thing - covering the dogs eyes during "the act". I hate it when my dog is staring at me. Hard to concentrate!! Anyway - My wife has a ton of the stuff - she asked me, "Do you want me to wear this stuff anymore?" - I said...nope...no need to wear anything!

BrideofChrist · Sep 3, 2005

Wow, we are all so different! I absolutely love to wear sexy lingerie and yet I have a husband that hardly cares. It doesn't turn him on and it gets me nowhere with him. I long for a sexual response to sexy attire but have to accept that that is just not his 'thing'.

For me, sexy lingerie is a turn on. I feel (or at least I used to) sexy when I wear it and I used to try some on during the day to see what I wanted to wear for the night. Since my husband does not react to it, I've given up on it.

I still try to wear pretty things to bed and love everything feminine but I do enjoy being comfortable so it's silky pants and a see-through top or silk babydolls or cotton Vic Secret victorian. I don't care for any clothes that a man might wear like boxer shorts and T-shirts but I understand some men find that sexy.

I guess no marriage has it all and what I thought my husband would find sexy he does not. Sigh

Mom to 5 · Sep 3, 2005

philknowles said:
does anyone know of good sites with intimate apparel? I want to buy my wife some. Oh, she asked me to.

http://www.themarriagebed.com/pages/resources/giftshop.shtml
Great stuff here. . .and modestly shown so as not to tempt in the wrong way!

Johnnz · Sep 3, 2005

Clothing is not the real issue. Good sex has two components - getting there and doing it. We miss out on a lot of real pleasure and relationship when we focus on the last part - intercourse. Its the time before that which can be so important. Once couples turn sex into a brief activity before sleep it will soon die. Kids can kill sex - no time, no space, no energy. We need to work around that.

Its not what we wear (we really do know what is there after it comes off) or positions (there are only so many), but how e can extend sexual pleasure for each other as part of our overall relationship. The avergae time for intercourse is about 8 minutes. Creative foreplay can last a couple of hours. And, as important as it is, [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] is not THE criterion for good sex. Good, loving, mutally satisfying sexual activity that contributes to the marriage and keeps it fresh is ultimately more satisfying than brief, earth rocking climaxes. And endless 'quickies' with an unresponsive partner does not satisfy either.

John
NZ

snarfywarning · Sep 4, 2005

BrideofChrist said:
Wow, we are all so different! I absolutely love to wear sexy lingerie and yet I have a husband that hardly cares. It doesn't turn him on and it gets me nowhere with him. I long for a sexual response to sexy attire but have to accept that that is just not his 'thing'.

Haha. DH is the same way. He thinks it makes me look degraded or something. But then again,he is the kinda guy who is like "oohh yeeaahh" when I show off my new flannel PJ pants with sheep all over them while I am doing the dishes? haha. Husbands are so weird sometimes.

But mostly to bed, we just wear underpants or nothing. It is too hot where we live to wear clothes to bed.

newcreature · Sep 4, 2005

I'm on the opposite end, I'd give anything for my husband to WANT me in intimate apparel. LOL He thinks a simple button down shirt is sexy enough.

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