Interfaith Relationships

How can our relationship be wrong under the eyes of God, and harmful, if we're both closer to God than ever?

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It's the future that is uncertain. For all we know you will be the devout christian and Bo falls away from God. Who can really know? Caution is always the prudent advice to give.

I think people want to counsel caution. As when it comes to God and your partner, God is expecting to come first. It's quite possible that conflict will occur, so caution is warranted. That doesn't mean that there are not exceptions to the rule.

Generalisations are somewhat unavoidable when people ask general questions. Without knowledge of the specifics, how can people answer specifically? I can't address each of those examples above in any more than a generalisation, as I have no specifics about what context they were in.

Secondly, not everyone is eloquent in the use of language, so you might have to forgive those who do their best but give the wrong impression.

I wish you both the best and pray God will give you the gift of faith for you diligence in reaching out to Him. I can understand Bo's enthusiasm for the expectation that his lady will come to know God. Pray you never disappoint him or he you in matters of faith.

I might mention my own experiences match peoples statements. I have been in a christian relationship and I lost my faith. My wife was devastated. The marriage is now over.

I have been a christian in a relationship with a woman who was spiritual, but did not believe in God. We could talk about some things, but I could never completly share in her faith, nor could she completely share in mine. Two people in love like to feel they can be intimately involved in all ways. Finding barriers to this intimacy can be very disheartening, especially when you cannot share one anothers enthusiasm. Common faith and shared enthusiasm have an ecstatic feel. It's truelly amazing. I'm sure you are catching glimpses of that now.

I am now involved with a lady who has found christianity through me. She was a nominal christian/agnostic, and through me sharing my beliefs with her, she has come to know God in a way she has never done before.

I do find that homogenous faith relationships offer the greatest satisfaction for me. I can only speak from my personal experience.

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I know your in love. You really want to believe everything will be perfect. I truely hope for you to achieve that. The opinions of others is rarely going to change the course of love. If you have a great passion for each other, is anything really going to stand in your way? I don't think so.

Observer said:

Hey.. I'm an Agnostic and I'm involved romantically with a Christian. The first thing I want to say is that it's not my intention to offend anyone with this post, and I am not trying to trigger any kind of debate. I am not implying with anything that I say below, that all Christians should be fine with taking part in interfaith relationships and marriages, at all. But I've noticed a lot of generalisations going around, so I just wanted to quote some things from random posts that I'd like to respond to. A lot of interfaith relationships can't work, but this post is just to let people who are against it, that not all unbelievers are the same and that interfaith relationships can (although probably rarely) work, and bring both parties closer to God.


I talk about God with Bo (the Christian I'm involved with) a lot. I don't dislike talking about God with him. I'd be fine with taking part in church activity, although we don't live near each other at the moment, so we can't go to church together. Bo says that I support his spirituality because I pray for him and encourage him to go to church etc.


I don't feel that you can generalise all non-believers, just like you can't generalise all Christians. I would never want Bo to do things with me like premarital sex. I wouldn't want to pull him away from God or lead him down the wrong path.


1. We can't go to church together because we don't live near each other at the moment, but if we did, (although I can't predict the future) I am quite sure that I would go to church with him. I'm thinking of starting going to church on my own anyway, so I don't see why I wouldn't go with him and support him in that.

2. If we were sharing an income, I would support us giving some of our money to the work of God, as I respect it and believe that it's something worth giving to.

3. I would respect his wishes for making Sunday a holy day, and wanting to go to church on that day. I encourage him never to skip church, no matter what day it is.

4. I do not discount or ridicule his prayers. We both pray as much as we can, which includes times of crisis. I try to pray even when I feel that God doesn’t hear me.

5. We don't want children, but if we ever did, I do not object to them being introduced to God and raised in Christianity. I wouldn't want them to be raised in a forceful way, but I would like them to be taught about God and the kinds of morals that God teaches.

This has been a long, boring post, sorry. I just felt the need to address this, because there is so much generalisation when it comes to this subject. I agree that it's definitely a bad idea for a lot of people to be involved in interfaith relationships, but I don't believe it's wrong for absolutely EVERYONE. So this post is basically to the people that believe it's wrong in all situations... I just want to share our side of it, and tell you that unbelievers don't all do the same things in interfaith relationships.

I am so much closer to God than I ever have been, and I couldn't have come this far without the help of Bo. Even talking about God was frustrating and irritating before Bo helped me. I went from pretty much Atheist, and now I'm Agnostic I guess. I pray and I'm hoping to become closer to God. Bo also feels that he is closer to God than he's ever been. How can our relationship be wrong under the eyes of God, and harmful, if we're both closer to God than ever?

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You do need to understand that a Christian is in a relationship with Jesus Christ.And i would ask myself why do i really wont to be in a relationship with a Christian.
Is it to just have someone in my life to love and care about me.
Because a Christian is always going to place Jesus Christ first place in their
life.
It looks like you really need to get something clear why you wont this relationship.
Where two are more are gathered in my name there i am also Jesus Christ speaking.
You really need to Love the Lord God first place in you life before you start
getting into a serious Relationship human relationship i mean.
Because after all i dont think you really know what you really wont yet.
are you not very young.?

There is nothing wrong with wonting someone in your life after all were all
human and need human relationship

But you do need to understand that a Christian will love God above all others.
There is a good reason because we are his body.the bride.

Because were married to him This may be gettin to deep for you to understand but it is simple really.

Because it takes a while to understand these things.

I know when i got married i married two young She was A Christian i was not
even though i believed in God But i dident know him.

All things will work together to those that Love God.

Observer said:

Hey.. I'm an Agnostic and I'm involved romantically with a Christian. ... A lot of interfaith relationships can't work, but this post is just to let people who are against it, that not all unbelievers are the same and that interfaith relationships can (although probably rarely) work, and bring both parties closer to God.

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Let me first say that with my reply I want to argue against it. I do agree that generalizations are not always productive and helpful. All I can do is give you my perspective, my story. And I sincerely hope you won't regard it as an attempt to talk you out of your relationship because your and my story are not exactly the same.

I am a believer and I fell in love with a non believer but we never did have a relationship. And to be very honest, for a long time I was very unhappy about not being able to have a relationship. If I could have, I would be in a relationship with this man. And I had to witness that again and again circumstances arose to make it impossible for me to be with him. Only recently I began to be thankful for that (I will explain further down below).

Observer said:

I am so much closer to God than I ever have been, and I couldn't have come this far without the help of Bo. Even talking about God was frustrating and irritating before Bo helped me. I went from pretty much Atheist, and now I'm Agnostic I guess. I pray and I'm hoping to become closer to God. Bo also feels that he is closer to God than he's ever been. How can our relationship be wrong under the eyes of God, and harmful, if we're both closer to God than ever?

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And this is where the huge difference comes in: where my story goes opposite than yours. This man or ,to be more correct, my feelings for this man caused me to go on a distance from God. I literally wasted all this time in utter selfishness. That is not that man's fault, nor is it anybody else's fault (especially not God's). I say selfishness because I wanted to be close to this man, I lost focus on more important things like staying close to God and getting this man closer to God.

Now, after being angry and frustrated for such a long time, I realize that I had my priorities wrong and therefore God needed to take me a way, send me on a very long distance away from that man.

But you and Bo are both getting closer to God. I can understand and see why it might hurt you to be met with disapproval from Christians. But Christians are human beings and can't see what God sees. Human beings do rely on eye sight, base opinions on experiences (their own or those they have observed in others). But Christians also have the word of God and, let's face it, there are verses warning about relationships with unbelievers. However, only God can foresee the future and only God knows what is going to happen. Outside you and Bo, no other human being is part or supposed to be part of your relationship ... God wants to have a part in any relationship.

Observer said:

Carmi... I'm sorry that you had to go through that time with that man, but I'm glad you got something good out of it. I know Bo and I have to be really careful to stay on the right path, especially since I'm not a Christian. I know the bible warns against things... we've questioned our relationship because of what the bible says, but feel that God is saying something different, that we could be right for each other. We're trying to do the right thing, and trying to listen to God, both of us.

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Thank you for your kind words. I hope I don't sound rude but please do not feel sorry for me. It was not him that drew me away from God. And if I had my priorities right and had been less selfish, we both would be closer to God.

I needed the distance and now I am thankful for it. I still do have hope that one day he will know God as I do - so in the end, I do hope we will both end up to be with the Lord.

Well, it isn't so much a matter of generalizations as it is a command from God not to have interfaith relationships. Because there is a philosophical difference between you two that will impact the way you see everything. And because God is first in a Christian's heart, a lot of people who aren't Christians have a hard time with this because they feel they should be first. Here's how the philosophical differences manifest themselves: if you truly don't want Bo to displease his God, would you be content to let him go so that he will return to obedience? (God has commanded that we not enter into interfaith relationships.)

so, that's a really tough call, wouldn't you say: really tough. And if the answer is no, you see the first manifestation of the philosophical differences at play.

If you got married, sure, you'd go to church with him. But you would have different priorities on how to spend money, how to raise the kids, what to teach them, and you'd be telling the kids one thing and Bo another. It changes everything.

But if you feel close to God, why not give your life to Him entirely?

This might get long, but I promise to keep it relevant.
As you are thinking about relationship, why not think strongly about relationship with God. I will explain.

If everything pans out, you will likely be looking at marriage. In marriage, one partner is really saying to the other, "I give my life to you". This is so because the wife submits her will to the husband, and the husband is commanded to lay down his life for his wife.

Now if you would be willing to give your life to Bo, because he loves you, you trust him, and you love him, then why not think also about God.

God loves you, is infinitely trustworthy, and asks that you love him in return.

When Jesus stood up at the last supper and took the cup and said "This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.", He was mirroring the Jewish betrothal custom of the young man after sealing the bride price, would take a cup and offer it to the bride-to-be saying something like, "This is my life I offer it to you". If she accepted the cup, and drank from it, she was in effect saying "I accept your life and give you mine in return." And they were betrothed.

Jesus at the last supper likewise offers us a cup saying "I love you and offer you my life." If we accept the cup, we in affect say, "I accept your life Jesus and give you mine in return."

There is no surprise that the Church is called the bride of Christ. We are His betrothed.

SO, if you are thinking about lifelong committment and relationship with Bo, then you understand the concepts of trust, love, faith, hope. Accepting Jesus is just that. It is a faith step, trusting in His love for you.

Might I recommend to you:
http://www.fathersloveletter.com/fllnarration.html
every statement is a verse from the Bible.

You see the greatest expression of love that Bo can show towards you, is to do anything that might draw you closer to God. A Christian marriage is a three-way relationship. It is like a triangle with God at the top and the husband and wife at the two other points. As each draws closer to God, they also draw closer to each other.

I know as a believer that I could not partner a non-believer because it would tear me apart on a daily basis when I thought about my loved ones eternal destination. I know that I feel that same way for my children. We have 3. Our eldest now 7 accepted Jesus when he was 4. Our second is 3 1/2 and I pray that he soon also makes a commitment of his life to Jesus. Our youngest at 2 still has a couple of years to go.

But the point is I cannot tolerate the idea of them in hell, and therefore pray for their salvation. I can guarantee that Bo and others are praying for you right now as well.

Finally;

Rev 3:20 ESV Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.

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