Interacial Marriage

NYmama · May 13, 2004

I agree with many here. It is not a sin. However, many kids suffer because of the mixture in the races. Then again I am a mixture of differnt things one being an American Indian mixed with a ton of things...Mainly English LOL

desi · May 13, 2004

It depends on where you are and they type of people around. Some are more tolerant of it than others, I'm talking about how people act not about if it is right or wrong as we all seem to agree interacial marriage is okay with God.

mina · May 13, 2004

mdolls68 said:
I suppose children do pay a price sometimes for the choices of their parents. Very, very seldom have we ever gotten comments about us or our children. We live in a "very white community" and we just joke about us being interracial.

We have gotten so many positive comments about our children that it's so overwhelming. People we know, strangers, lots of people have come up to us and think our children are so beautiful, some even wanting to hug & kiss them (very disconcerting if they are strangers). We've had photographers wanting to photograph our daughter for magazines.

Our children are both very friendly, affectionate, loving, dynamic children. People are drawn and attached to them, and they seem to brighten whatever room they are in. Our daughter is nearly 4 yrs old, very articulate and smart. I'm not even sure most people even care that she is mixed. They see this beautiful little girl who so loves Jesus, wonderful childlike hysterical laughter that just makes you want to start laughing too.

My 8 month old son also commands similar attention from others. People want to kiss him, hold him, squeeze him...and he just gives these big smiles and laughs so much. He is such a ticklish little guy.

We also try to teach our children that it's not in how we look on the outside that God cares about, but it's who we are as people...our heart, our minds, our thoughts, our actions. The beautiful thing is that EVERY SINGLE PERSON IS UNIQUE....including multiple births who are identical.

Cherish people for who they are. Yes, there are some narrow-minded people in this world who refuse to be open. It's their problem, not mine. So, I won't make their problem mine, even if they want it...and even if we should have to suffer. God never said our lives as Christians would be easy. And, my husband is the man whom I believe God intended to be my husband for life...and I believe that the children we have are a gift from Him.

Blessings to You All,
Doris

God bless you and your family!!!!

brokenbananas · May 13, 2004

It all comes down to some very narrow-minded people. If I worried about every single thing someone else thought, I'd be a basketcase. We teach our children that there will be people that do not accept them, but that is ok. We are teaching our children about self-esteem, that God loves them so very much. Our daughter goes to Chinese school one day a week. All the other kids are our Chinese. They call our daughter the black child. At first it bothered me, then I realized that some of their parents just are ignorant.

We continue to keep our daughter going there. Why? It's to learn a part of her culture, and even if the children are not nice, it's an opportunity for us to teach her and the other children. In fact, my husband, every time he picks her up, they totally love him. He is such a fun father, unlike the many prim and proper Chinese moms & dads. Many of the kids now call him daddy. Imagine that. I think some of the parents are appalled that their Chinese children call this black man "Daddy".

I hope my post doesn't offend anyone, but these are real things we deal with. My mom was not happy that I was marrying a black man. I'm sure she thought all the stereotype stuff. She still has a hard time accepting my husband is a wonderful husband, great father...that we have a loving, beautiful marriage...that we are happy....and that our children are so well adjusted, happy. I didn't marry Henry because he is black, but I married him for the man he is.

You could marry someone of the same race/ethnic group, but let's say your child has something abnormal physically or otherwise. You don't think other people will be cruel to them? Value your children and show them that you value their opinions, feelings and teach them how to manage these things. Teach them how to handle other people's cruelties, let them cry, validate their feelings, build their self esteem...and YOU be the role model.

Sorry, I just think some of the arguments for interracial marriages are lame.

~Doris

Mr.Cheese · May 14, 2004

Right or wrong the kids do suffer. That is an unavoidable fact.

Oddly enough I saw on the news once a black couple who had a white baby. And it wasn't the milkman's baby. It was theirs.

tonya · May 14, 2004

It certainly is not a sin...there is nothing in the Bible against it and I have heard preachers speak on it..BUT..the children do suffer!! i have seen that first hand...I grew up in the Deep South..now I was not taught to be prejudice and have many different friends of color and race, but I had a classmate in hs who was of mixed race...Most of the white children shunned him and some of the Black kids too..and we were talking about this one day and he said as a norm the black kids were more accepting of him...that is sad but a true story...we should judge not that we be not judged..

Jenna · May 14, 2004

Do y'all think that the poor behavior of others is a suitable reason for refraining when it comes to dating and becoming involved with someone with a different ethnic background?

jenptcfan · May 14, 2004

All kids will be made fun of at some point in their childhood. If it's not because they're mixed, it'll be because they wear glasses, or have frizzy hair, or are a little overweight...

I don't think we can base our decisions on what color our mate will be on whether or not our kids will be picked on. Everyone is picked on for something.

mina · May 14, 2004

Kids are picked on for everything. I'm white white and I was picked on for everything imaginable. Do ugly people stop and question if they should marry cause their kids might be picked on? Do people with big ears stop and question if they should marry because their kids might inherit that trait? I think people should marry whoever God directs them to. And if God brings you together then he will bless you and see you through it. He will also protect your kids. Bowing to bigitry and letting small minded people control you or even make you deny the person that God has for you just doesn't seem right to me. That to me seems small minded. Don't let other people control your actions , especially if you know it's from God. God's not going to lead everyone to an interracial marriage, but if he does then it's not wrong and God knows what he's doing.

brettnolan · May 14, 2004

How is it that almost half a century, two generations after the civil rights movement, 40 years of mingling with each other, we still even notice?

I don't get it.

jeepgirl1 · May 14, 2004

brettnolan said:
How is it that almost half a century, two generations after the civil rights movement, 40 years of mingling with each other, we still even notice?

I don't get it.

Its just that ... we mingle as opposed to getting to know one another. Social interaction b/w the races is somewhat limited, sadly.

brokenbananas · May 14, 2004

Tonya & Mr. Cheese,

It's a good thing you are not the parents of my children then because they probably would grow up with low self-esteems. I suppose if you had children you do not want them to become Christians, because the Bible guarantees they will suffer for the cause of Christ.

Jenna, Jenptcfan, Mina,

Thank you for your posts.

I would like to add that I grew up in Arizona in a small town. It was predominantly white. My family was 1 of 2 Chinese families in this small town. I and my siblings were all Valedictorian of our graduating High School classes, I being the first. Both my parents are 100% Chinese. My parents taught us to be very service oriented, give back to the community. When I graduated at the top of my class with above a 4.0 GPA, I received not 1 scholarship from my community. Yet, nationally & in Arizona I was recognized for being a high achiever and an All American Girl. My own community where I spent my first 18 yrs of my life, having given so much to our community didn't give me 1 penny. They said the reason why I didn't get any scholarships was because my parents were married. #3 graduating his parents were married. After that excuse didn't work, they said my parents could afford to send me to college. My parents didn't pay for my college. I did or whatever scholarships I got would pay my way.

The reason why I didn't get any scholarships was because most of the white community I lived in were prejudice against Chinese people. They hated to see these Chinese kids excel above their own children. So, the argument against interracial...here? I wasn't interracial, yet I suffered. If you're narrow-minded and bigotted, it doesn't matter. You don't like anyone different than you, interracial or not.

Mr. Cheese & Tonya....you are certainly entitled to your opinion....However. It's a good thing that God is no respector of persons. He loves ALL PEOPLE...regardless. Jesus died for everyone, and if anyone suffered, it was Christ.

jeepgirl1 · May 14, 2004

I do find it interesting that many people wouldn't marry interacially, using that whole fear of the children being subjected to prejudice as an excuse, yet they'd be willing to adopt internationally and bring a child of another culture/race into their home and community.

mina · May 14, 2004

mdolls- you sound like an amazing person!

I grew up in the south, both of my parents are white, raised in pretty much a prodominently white town. Racial overtones were what I was raised with, i'm ashamed to say. Although my parents have come a long way, which is good. They have some good Japanese friends and I think that has helped them to grow. My best friend from High school is black. When we are together we don't even notice what color we are, it's the friendship that matters. Most of my best friends in college were the international students. I have seriously dated a man of another race and although we are no longer dating we remain good friends and I could see myself marrying him if God leads us to that. Of all the things in the world to worry about in a potential partner, race should be one of the least things to worry about. I know that if I do marry this man that is so incredible but of another race, my family would give me big time flack about it or might even disown me or resort to physical violence. I say that only shows their ignorance and lack of their own character. My view is this: He doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, treats other people so well, is a Godly and active Christian that truly loves Jesus, and would only treat me with love, respect , and dignity, and yet the only problem is that he' s not as white as you? The good outweighs the (supposed) bad. The people that I have been closest to in life have all been of different races than I.

Mixed children are usually very very beautiful and good looking, so I guess all the put downs and teasing they recieve stems from jealously. Most if not all of the mixed kids I know are DROP DEAD GORGEOUS!!!!

brokenbananas · May 14, 2004

I'll have to figure out how to post some pics of my children.

Mina, if you find me incredible...it's cause God has given me the opportunity to walk through many fires....He is molding me...and let me tell you the times I've cried out to Him. I love Jesus more than anything. Being a Christian is not easy. Being Chinese in a mainly white community is nothing. Being a Christian in a mainly godless society is SOMETHING.

How can people see Jesus in us when we as Christians are so judgmental? They don't even see us loving each other, how can they come to know Christ?

Here are a couple links to some photo albums of my family and I:
http://www.ofoto.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?&collid=54370829603&page=1&sort_order=0

http://www.ofoto.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?&collid=786713391103&page=1&sort_order=0

http://www.ofoto.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?&collid=81176466603&page=2&sort_order=1

http://www.ofoto.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?&collid=45262381203&page=2&sort_order=1

Ok, I don't have many pics of my son online, yet...but, he is just as cute as his big sis.

Mina...do what God wants you to do....whatever it is. My mom was going to disown me...but, what could she do? These are her only 2 grandchilden...they are so adorable and loving. She can't help but love them. When you step out in faith & obey God, that really is the only way. Forget what anyone else may say. Do what God wants you to do.

Blessings,
Doris

MrsGnomeCrusher · May 14, 2004

Jenna said:
I have never come across any couple with varying skin colors that has two vastly different looking children. To the best of my knowledge, it doesn't work like that.

Actually, a few year back I remember hearing about a couple in England that were white and their children were black. (I think it was that way and not the other way around). I remember watching the interview the news had with them.

momof3blessings · May 15, 2004

mdolls68 said:
Tonya & Mr. Cheese,

It's a good thing you are not the parents of my children then because they probably would grow up with low self-esteems. I suppose if you had children you do not want them to become Christians, because the Bible guarantees they will suffer for the cause of Christ.

Jenna, Jenptcfan, Mina,

Thank you for your posts.

I would like to add that I grew up in Arizona in a small town. It was predominantly white. My family was 1 of 2 Chinese families in this small town. I and my siblings were all Valedictorian of our graduating High School classes, I being the first. Both my parents are 100% Chinese. My parents taught us to be very service oriented, give back to the community. When I graduated at the top of my class with above a 4.0 GPA, I received not 1 scholarship from my community. Yet, nationally & in Arizona I was recognized for being a high achiever and an All American Girl. My own community where I spent my first 18 yrs of my life, having given so much to our community didn't give me 1 penny. They said the reason why I didn't get any scholarships was because my parents were married. #3 graduating his parents were married. After that excuse didn't work, they said my parents could afford to send me to college. My parents didn't pay for my college. I did or whatever scholarships I got would pay my way.

The reason why I didn't get any scholarships was because most of the white community I lived in were prejudice against Chinese people. They hated to see these Chinese kids excel above their own children. So, the argument against interracial...here? I wasn't interracial, yet I suffered. If you're narrow-minded and bigotted, it doesn't matter. You don't like anyone different than you, interracial or not.

Mr. Cheese & Tonya....you are certainly entitled to your opinion....However. It's a good thing that God is no respector of persons. He loves ALL PEOPLE...regardless. Jesus died for everyone, and if anyone suffered, it was Christ.

What part of AZ did you grow up in I'm assuming Northern by the way your talking. I agree totally with what your saying. I live in PHX and where I live it's so culturally diverse that prejudice would be hard, not saying it's not there. I don't see it in the children as much as I do the adults. I worked in the school system and saw more adults treat kids different for who they were then kids. Kids see that and wonder why... Kids when they are small don't see color they see someone to play with. If they speak a differnent language they are the first one there to help try to teach them what to say.
Personally I think that's why God says we are to be child like. He like children sees no color just His children and love.

Sascha Fitzpatrick · May 15, 2004

My mum has given me her 'complete and delighted blessing' to go ahead and marry (sorry, I'm thinking African - over there it isn't politically incorrect to say this) a black man - she would love chocolate coloured grandbabies!!! Of course it's all dependant on who God has for me

brokenbananas · May 15, 2004

Momof3blessings,

I live in Chandler. Yeah, some adults are tainted by these prejudices. We actually all have prejudices. When I see some gangbanger or a bunch of teenagers looking to cause trouble, I have a prejudice...despite any race. God is working on me, because He loves the hoodlum as much as He loves me. Sometimes it's hard to get out of our comfort zones.

We do teach our daughter (son later as he gets older) that people can be not nice. We explain as best as we can to a 3.75 yr old. She does recognize when people make bad remarks, like when my mom cursed my brother and took God's name in vain. That was a teaching moment for us. We explained to her that Grandma doesn't love Jesus, that's why she says bad things, but we still need to love her. She went and gave my mom a hug and said that Jesus loved her. She has so much confidence that Jesus loves her. She has this thing she does when I raise my fist high, she says, "Say it loud, I'm Chinese and I'm proud." When my hubby raises his fist high, she says, "Say it loud, I'm black and I'm proud." We are teaching her to proud of who she is, regardless of what others think. Parents have a great responsibility to their children.

They are very impressionable at this age, and you've got to constantly reinforce their value and that they are so loved. Sure, life will be tough, but you can teach them how to deal with trials & tribulations by YOU being the example for them.

Swtsnshyn · May 16, 2004

Something that I have noticed about "interracial" marriage is that most people do not seem to say anything unless skin color is involved. Now I know that there are exceptions to this, but for the most part this is true.

Our oldest daughter married a young man who loves the Lord with his whole heart, and loves our daughter with all his heart and treats her with dignity, respect, tenderness, etc. His mother is black and his father is white. Now, if on did not know this, they would assume that he is black. (Even if both of his parents were black, it would make no difference!) He was hand-picked by God. When they got married, my uncle pulled me aside and said that nobody told him that Terrence (our son-in-law) is black. Then he added that of course it didn't matter. I told him that it never occurred to us to say anything, and to be perfectly honest, we never really thought about it. He is such a wonderful young man.

They will be married five years in July and have a daughter. Our beautiful granddaughter will be two in September. She is such a joy and delight. Between her parents, our family, his family, and the wonderful church family we have, she is surrounded by love. And I am sure that she and any of her brothers and/or sisters that come along will be well equipped to overcome the trials and tribulations of life.

As for teasing, I agree with many here. Children will always find things to say and/or tease other children about; whether it be skin color, heritage, the child's name, level of intelligence, etc. You name and one can find something to say. Therefore we must be diligent to teach our own children to see each and every person through the eyes of Jesus, and let them know that every person born on this earth has incredible worth and value.

God Bless!!
Dawn
Shining brightly for Jesus

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