You can be like me and wait almost 7 years....to find out that the person just want to be friends. Or you can tell her how you feel and what you want. If you did and that didnt change the status of your friendships. That is a huge hint. If you still want to pursue it. Just show her the man you can be for her...she might have a change of heart.I find myself in a predicament once again with someone I call my best friend. I am very close to her and a few months ago realized that my feelings were more then friends and tried to sort myself out.
Thing is she has been dating a guy for years and they have been engaged and un engaged a couple of times. I am friends with the guy also, but she is my best friend.
She tells me she is unhappy with her boyfriend and wants to leave but she never does anything about it. I keep telling her to speak to him about it and to try to work it out, but secretly I want them to break up so I can be with her.
When I first realized that I had strong feelings for her, I spoke to her about it and she said she had an idea I felt like that and said she didn't want it to change our friendship and I kind of got over it. I guess I am kind of always waiting on the sideline so that if anything happens I would be there.
I keep trying to tell myself that I can never be with her and want to stop thinking about her but she is always in my head.
She has recently said again that she wants to break up with her boyfriend and once again I have told her that she should try to work it out with him but once again I want them to break up so I can be with her. I guess I have been telling myself that as long as I don't actually break them up myself then I can feel fine with myself.
I guess the underlying problem is that I have feelings for my best friend that I cant get rid of and I don't know how to get rid of the feelings, or if I want to because there may be a chance that she does break up with her boyfriend.
I feel myself getting depressed a lot about it and jealous when she does things with her boyfriend which is wrong because they are together and it shouldn't effect me, whatever they do!
Anyone been in a situation like this or have any suggestions as to what to do?
I don't want to stop talking to her or not see her as she is my best friend and we talk about everything together.
Thank you.
Rhys
I'm just going to give my honest opinion. I don't believe that Christians should date non-Christians. I also don't believe that God would choose a nonChristian for a Christian. The verse in the bible about not being unequally yoked was out there for a reason.I have been told by a couple of people on here that due to her NOT being a Christian, I shouldn't be with her. I can understand the reasons why you shouldn't cross that path (intimacy, sex before marriage ect), but I find it very hard to dismiss any non Christian girls just because they aren't a Christian. Sure a lot of people have done a lot of things in their past, but I believe that as long as each person in a relationship knows the others beliefs and respects them, then there shouldn't be a problem.
Just doesn't seem right to me that Christians can only have relationships with other Christians. That really narrows the amount of people down a lot! God has chosen someone for you, I dont believe that he would only chose a Christian partner for you!!
Rhys
Joyce Meyer and her husband were definitely not equally yoked. Joyce Meyer was an atheist when her and her husband married. Her husband was a Christian though. Majority of people always love to use certain scripture in the bible so they don't have to deal with someone that might be a challenge. Look at her today, all because of true agape love. I know her husband had hard times lol I can see it in his face when they talk about it. They are funny and beautiful....I'm just going to give my honest opinion. I don't believe that Christians should date non-Christians. I also don't believe that God would choose a nonChristian for a Christian. The verse in the bible about not being unequally yoked was out there for a reason.
As Christians we should not be indulging in activities that nonChristians take part in and by being in a relationship with an unbeliever it is too easy to start doing some of those things. There is also no accountability or growing together in the faith.
Bro, I'll be frank: It's a case of all or nothing.
You're miserable now because you can't have what you want (her as a girlfriend), and unless she becomes your girlfriend (which doesn't seem likely) then you're going to continue to be tormented by your feelings for her and by her unavailability. Sure, she's your friend and no one wants to end a friendship, but the only way for this to improve is this: You sit her down and tell her you want her to be your girl because you're in love with her, and if she doesn't feel the same way toward you, then you have to stop spending time with her, because even though there are great moments within your friendship, your love for her is making you miserable and you need to let the love die, and that can only happen if she is no longer a part of your life.
If she says she feels the same about you and wants to be your girl, then your friendship with her boyfriend will certainly end, so be prepared to gain her, but lose his friendship. He will be very mad at both of you, and he'll get over it, but he'll never be your friend again.
You're in a tough spot, but you're not a kid anymore.
You're a man and you've got to take the lead, as a Christian man is required to do in love, dating, courtship and marriage, and move this thing forward or back out of it completely so you can move on to finding a woman to be your wife.
Don't stay in the status quo.
Majority of people always love to use certain scripture in the bible so they don't have to deal with someone that might be a challenge.
Oh, and if they did break up, i would wait at least a year before going out with her. Im really serious. She, especially after being engaged to the guy, would need that time to unload some stuff from the last relationship and help to clear her mind and help get her life back in focus.
And supremely frustrating was the religious split in my family. My father believed in Allah, my mother in Jesus. My father insisted that my mother was a Muslim because it's somehow tranmissible by marriage (), but my mother attended church from time to time. I remember believing in Jesus, but hoping Allah was the true God. If Allah is God, he's going to be displeased with my mother. If Jesus is God, I rationalized, he's going to send my dad to hell. Were the Bible true, no matter where I ended up in the afterlife, I could only take one parent with me.
I hope that everything works out for you. Remember the best thing to do is pray and ask for God's guidance.You all make very good points there. Its great to hear the views of other Christians when you feel stuck in a rut.
I now have a lot of thinking to do regarding this, but thankfully to your help, I should be able to make a more educated decision!
thank you all again,
Rhys
Seems the feelings I have for her are not returned.
I am totally lost right now and feel there is a huge hole in me. I have no idea what to do now. the right thing would be to not see her again, but that isnt possible as she is part of my circle of friends and I dont have a choice in seeing her. I should stop talking to her so much but that hurts too much.
I guess its good I have an answer now though, just that I dont want to move on.
Rhys
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?