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Imaginary father-figure? What do I do?

Sbreido

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For as long as I could remember, I always imagined a fictional character (either someone I made up or from a certain franchise) as a protective and loving father-figure to me. But it's strange... not once have I had a problem with my dad. My parents are not divorced, he never cheated on my mom, beat me etc. Our relationship is rather normal. He's loving, supportive and always there for me, and yet... I always imagined that someone else as not my father, but more of a father-figure. Whenever my real father gives me a hug or kiss, or tells me that he loves him, I just feel neutral. I don't know why... and it's weird because I do love my dad.

Since I was young, I would always daydream that this older male character (which is usually someone from an established story, I'm embarrassed to say, and there are lots of them; though there have been occasions where it was an established character of my own) would be loving and protective towards me. Note, the "farthest" we have ever been affectionate towards one another was hugging; that was the limit. No kissing or anything like that involved.

Other things I would imagine them doing (I have a very active and wild imagination, by the way), would be saving me from getting hurt or worse, giving me advice or just comforting me whenever I'm in distress.

This usually happens to me whenever I go to sleep, feel down or when I listen to music... the imagining part, I mean. I have no reason to be doing these things, but why am I anyway? Is this even normal? Am I developing some sort of pseudo-Oedipus complex? How do I stop making these false attachments to fictional characters? How do I let go, when deep down, I feel like they're real? It's really starting to bother me.

I don't know if this is a product of my OCD or if it's actually genuine emotion. I tried talking about it with my mom today and from what I've heard, I need to "wake up" and face the reality that my dad loves me. But I don't know how. It's so hard to do so when your "closest friends" growing up were fictional characters.

Any ideas? Prayers? Anything?
 

joey_downunder

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What you imagine this ideal father to be sounds very like the characteristics of God the Father described throughout the Bible.

DCox library: Fatherhood of God

Your searching for this father sounds very similar to C.S.Lewis' character John hungering for further sightings of his island in the book "The Pilgrim's Regress".

Yes it is time to stop searching for a fantasy father and to start searching for the real Father.
 
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1watchman

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Yes, you seem to be describing God --the Father, and if you make Him your God, He will in fact come and make His abode in you (John 14:23). Is that not a nice thing to know? The way one has a relationship with God is by faith.

If one goes into their "closet" - secret place (Matt. 6:6) and speaks to God in secret, He will reward that one openly, He says. Confess your sins and failures to Him, and declare you are receiving His beloved Son, the Lord Jesus, as your Savior. If you truly do that and are honest, you can go on your way rejoicing in communion with Him, and enjoy God's great salvation as a "child of God". That is the essence of the Gospel message. Many of us have done that and have been happy for many years.

- 1 Watchman
 
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singpeace

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Dear Sbreido,

My father was good to us, too. However, I believe God put it in your heart to long for more... for the perfect father which can only be your Creator.

Perhaps He did this because otherwise, you wouldn't have looked for Him.

I dream of the knight in shining armor kind of father, too even though my Dad is an example for other men to live by in my opinion.

When you dream of that other Father, know that it is the Father Who longs for you to see Him as the answer to your dream. Take your dream/imagination over a dad to God's throne and envision yourself there with Him. He'll be delighted, and I know you will feel better about the whole thing.

Father, help Sbreido to see that it's okay to dream of a dad who protects us and loves us perfectly. Show Sbreido how You fill the bill, Lord. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.
 
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