I’ve had agoraphobia since I was 20 I’m 45 now. I don’t go out at all. I have panic, anxiety, ocd, I was diagnosed with Addisons two years ago. I have a bunch of problems with food. A dietitian I managed to get to talk to on the phone thinks I have oral pollen syndrome where my body attacks the pollens in food and have reactions and get ill. There is a small list of things I’ve found that I can eat but this year because of the lack of pollution from Covid outside pollen is affecting me. Since the tree pollen started in the beginning of March all I’ve ate is boiled potatoes and water. I haven’t been able to go out the back garden because the pollen makes me so ill. Most of this year my mind has been in such a dark sad place for a reason I’d not say that most of the time I’ve just cried. Thank you God I’ve felt a lot more like myself this last month and I’ve even been able to drink two kinds of soft drink without getting really ill
I’ve always believed in God and I’ve always been a good person. My dad is a Christian too and he is really strict and hes stopped me from watching and listening to things that I like. He’s not a mean person he just wants me to live like him. Just watching the God channel and listing to Christian music. I’m so scared of watching or listening to the wrong things. If your in this area of the forums you know what it’s like thinking with a anxious mind worried about everything. My life is so limited already. People have a bad day and they sit down with some comfort food or a cup of tea or go for a walk
I feel guilty listening to music is it bad I feel guilty watching tv and films are they wrong even kids cartoon films I worry about. I get up I eat potatoes every two hours to have strength I play games on my iPad go to bed do the same the next day.
there is a American programme about a Christian family who are really strict. They won’t even dance not even stepping side to side they think everything is evil. Then the other end of the scale is a pastor who when asked about reality stars having sex on tv she said it was ok that God give us our bodies to have fun and enjoy and have pleasure with. No sex before marriage. So I’m somewhere in the middle floating around not knowing what I can do. Sometimes I feel like I’m going mad and I watch and listen to a bunch of stuff because I feel like I’m going to crack up if I don’t have some enjoyment. Then I have anxiety thinking I’ve done wrong by God. It’s not God making me feel bad it’s people making me feel bad. Because weather you don’t dance cos it’s evil or you’re a pastor that’s ok with sex before marriage on tv in front of everyone they all think their level of strictness is right. Unless you’re me too scared to read the bible because I’m scared what I’ll read because I can’t give up one more thing
I’m sorry this was so long. If you answer please don’t give details about anxiety attacks it makes me anxious sorry