I'm Not Meeting Her Needs

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Sounds like you've been honest with her. Good for you.

nb408 said:

Me and my girlfriend just had a very long talk. We're thinking about ending our relationship. She told me she needs someone who can speak truth to her. God's truth. I told her my struggles, where I'm at with my walk as a christian. I've believed my whole life but never had a personal relationship with God. Just an idealized version of a personal relationship with him. I told her regardless of if we stay together or not I'm going to pursue this real relationship. But I can't promise you when that's going to be. I can't give you a time frame. Because only God knows that. She told me she needs someone who puts God first, someone is willing to lead the relationship. In fact she told me this is very important, she doesn't want to lead the relationship.

What I told her is that there are two things I'm confident in. I will pursue God until I find this personal relationship with him. And I care about her so much that I would never hurt her and I will always treat her before myself. Both of us are seeking counsel on this before we make a decision.. I care about her so much that I'm willing to put through any struggles that she has. Where am I wrong in this? What should I do?

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It sounds in this description you both have said good and helpful and even hope-inspiring things (the specific things you've both said in post #1). Of course, there are also other feelings that can affect everything, but all of these specific statements are ok and good. Don't presume it's over though. You don't know if tomorrow it will be like a new day, better...especially if you pray with faith.

Remember the profound promise if you follow the greatest commandment --29“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.e 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." . The promise -- https://biblehub.com/romans/8-28.htm

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It sounds like you are very mature and able to be honest. This is something that is incredibly hard to do for all men. Something that has helped me in leading my relationship (which I've struggled with, as well) is just doing. What I mean by that is, if something seems like the traditional way a man would do things, I just do it. I take charge. I don't default to her opinion. I know it seems a little bit backwards in this day, but the problem is that our society is causing us to move away from what it means to be a real man. I'm not talking about toxic masculinity. Because the thing is, most women, especially religious women, want to feel like their man is in control. NOT controlling. But in control. Especially of themselves. It helps her feel more secure. A book that has done WONDERS for my relationship is "Created to Need a Help Meet" by Michael Pearl as well as the companion book "Created to Be a Help Meet" by his wife, Debbie Pearl, for my partner. It depends on the type of relationship you're looking for though. And I'm not saying you should stay in this relationship, but for the future, it may be helpful.

Just a side-note: there is some controversy regarding Michael Pearl in general, and he can be very rough around the edges. But regardless, the book itself is wonderful, just may need to take some things with a grain of salt. Good luck.