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I'm an alcoholic.

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keepwalking

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I was sober and free for nearly 6 years, then picked up again 6 months ago. The Lord did an amazing work in me then, I understood grace for the first time, I truly believed the gospel and it was an amazing time.
Since getting married (and my husbabd is an amazing, Christian guy) and having 2 kids, I've gradually drifted. I've always struggled with body image and eating disorders and relapsed after my 2nd,girl was born, along side PND. Then I picked up a drink. Now I feel like I can't stop.
The worst thing is, we're missionaries. I feel like a massive hypocrite, a terrible mum, and a failure before God.
Please can you pray for me. Thank you.
 

Tigger45

Mt 9:13..."I desire mercy, not sacrifice"...
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This is only a stumble. Get back sober the way you did the last time and start over. It's OK. It's not how many times we fall it's how many times we get back up that counts
 
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Colter

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Forgive yourself, (un-judge yourself) when we say we are powerless over alcohol, we really mean it! We have no mental defense against the first drink apart from Gods strength if we want it. A slip reinforces what the AA book teaches us, that we aren't cured of alcoholism, what we have is a daily reprieve contingent upon the maintenance of our spiritual life.

And you aren't a hypocrite, you just have a more sincere, experienced message. Think about how Peter must have felt denying the Lord after even being told he was going to!

I slipped several times in my first year. After I finally went "all in" the 12 steps at 22 years old, I've been sober now for 30 years.

One day this experience will be helpful to someone you are working with in your missionary work.
 
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Boogeyman07

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How is it going keepwalking? Tigger is completely right...you're ok! Instead of letting the shame and guilt keep you down just decide that you will keep fighting and keep picking yourself no matter how many times you have to do it. I have struggled with alcohol as well. Hope you're doing good.
 
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Paul808

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What was the feeling you went through when you typed "I was sober and free for nearly 6 years"? I will bet it was of pride, and happiness. And use that memory as your picker-upper. We all fall, but as mentioned above... it's about getting back up.

Don't let the negative part about relapsing bring you down... instead use the positive part about the history of sobriety take you back up.
I will pray for you
 
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