I'm an alcoholic

Thanks for coming here and thanks for telling us. Looking back on my own drinking days, I think what you may need to realize is what I did; and that is that alcohol is making all of your life worse, all the time. It's not just hangovers and errors of judgement, it is every waking and sleeping moment of every day.
How are you going to pay for a lawsuit? How get a lawyer? I don't know; but I do know this: you're not going to get the right answers by drinking! Stinkin' drinkin' = stinkin' thinkin'.
I'm not going to say that getting sober will land you in a bed of roses; but it's surprising how things start to work out when you face them without alcohol. I'd suggest you call AA as soon as you read this. They can help you with any referrals you may need for detox, treatment, counselling etc. Get to some meetings. Believe it or not, you'll hear stories that top yours. Keep coming back here. There are a lot of caring people here and, I like to say, probably at least a century of sobriety.

Trust us. We all had to learn this: God will help you; but you have to reach out!

The problems are still there, sometimes worse because we are dealing with them with a hang over sick...Having support means that you don't have to go through it all by yourself. A sponsor and the group will help with our mind of obsession, and just like with many stories I hear things do get better. One step at a time! A sponsor will help you to focus on this day and what needs to get done, not wasting energy on the ( it seems ) never ending stress, and hopelessness. God of coarse is with you the whole time.

Many have come into the program just like you, I wonder if anyone would reach out for help if everything was perfect.
Men/Women have a very hard time feeling that they have a problem because of having jobs, home ect. they feel we have to be in the gutter and lost everything to be a addict.

So many have been where you are and can support you with the guidance of God.

One thing I know for sure-drinking today will not make tomorrow any easier. It sounds like your life is unmanageable, and all of us in AA know what that feels like!!

Admitting you have a problem is a first step; I suggest going to some AA meetings and learning all 12.

As Bob said, giving up the drinking won't land you in a bed of roses, but it will help clear your head and allow you the freedom to really live life instead of avoiding harsh realities. the harsh realities will be there whether you drink or not.

Hope to hear more from you.

I watched the movie "Run Fat Boy, Run" last night. Near the end of the movie, the main characters son runs away (he's about 7 or so). The main character starts the movie by running away from his pregnant wife and leaving her at the alter. The father says to the son "you can't just run away from you're problems." The son looks up at him and says "Why?" He replies, "because it won't solve anything. You have to stay and work out the issues." And his son looks up again and goes "Is that what you do, dad?" He doesn't answer, knowing he's never done it a single time in his life, but becomes resolute in that moment and changes his life completely.

I tell you this short summary of part of the movie because it fits perfectly for you. Look around. You're drinking any money you could be saving right now. You are LITERALLY pouring cash into the toilet. Sit down, and CRY. You're going to need a good cry and a true acceptance of the facts. Unlike the father in the movie, Jesus never once ran from anything. He faced up to the facts and knew what he had to do. He didn't want to do it...it wasn't on his list of favorite activities, that's for sure...but he did it. He wants you to do the same. You make more than most people do. You have quite a good hourly wage. It seems to me that you need to look at how you are spending your money and maybe work with a financial counselor or someone who has background in that at your church to see if you can get a plan in action to save money and cut out the needless expenses. Stop drinking and start saving. Every time you want to buy beer, take every penny you would normally spend on beer and put it into a glass jar. Watch that money grow. Invest in something worthwhile, sustainable, and provide for the future. As you put that money in the jar, realize that you CAN help yourself and that God WON'T forsake you. You can't feel him, but he's there. You can't see him, but he's there. Close your eyes and picture him with his arms wrapped tight around you. Feel his arms wrapped tight around you. He does care and is there. You CAN quit. You CAN make it through this. Live up to what you've done, pay for it, and go on with life. It's gonna be a massive blow, but if you stand up and take what is coming to you with your head up, you won't get your spine blown out from the impact. Running with your head down means you'll run into trees you could have avoided had you been paying attention. Drinking your life away means that more problems are going to arise than would have if you had saved that money. Now, GO and DO it. You are not alone and you are not helpless. Stand up, be resolute and believe in what you are about to do.

thelost said:

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm an alcoholic. I don't drink a lot, but I know I can't quit. I work everyday. I take care of my family and I love the Lord. But.....! I also love drinking.

When I drink, My problems and my stress are miles away. I don't think about the lawsuits that have been filed against me for a failed business attempt. I don't think about world events which scare the hell out of me.

I find great comfort in the fact that all I have to do is pull the tab on another can and I'm that much closer to peace in my brain. But peace in my brain won't get me to heaven, will it? That can of beer did not die on the cross for me did it?

That can of beer wont even fix the fact that I'm being sued for $500k. I currently make $18.75 an hour. How am I going to pay for this lawsuit. I can't even afford an attorney to defend me which means the people suing me will win by default.

I have to tell ya! That can of beer looks pretty good at the end of my day, I don't even know what else to say.

Thanks for reading
thelost

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Amigo,

I've read your post several times and nowhere in it did I see you mention that you WANT to quit drinking. As as been told to me by my sponsor (I'm 'bout 6 yrs sober), until someone WANTS to quit drinking, they are gonna keep drinking. It is very possible that you haven't drunk enough yet; HOWEVER, when you get ready try 60 AA meetings in 60 days and see what ya think.

God Bless.

I went to AA meetings to deal with a problem, the same problem other people are there to deal with. Those other people are not all street bums. Many dress snazzier than I do. Some make more money than me, some less. Some are lawyers and some are doctors. Go to a meeting. Share your story. Listen to others. Part of AA is just being able to talk. Another part is making friends. If you don't like it the beer will always be there.