I feel like a ping pong ball- Advice and prayers needed

There can be several reasons behind his actions. But most of them are cause for concern and clear thinking. When a person no longer wants responsibility that speaks of a self centredness that is the death of any marriage.

You may be facing some harsh realities and some tough decisions. Mere piety won't be enough.

John
NZ

To be quite frank, he sounds like he's conflicted about being with one person for the rest of his life, and he may be wondering if there's someone else out there that would be "better".

The problem is that the grass is almost never greener on the other side. Some people freak out after the commitment happens, sometimes right away, sometimes years down the road, when they begin to realize "what about all those other people out there I won't be able to sleep with or kiss or... [insert whatever]". But the grass is never greener. It's a figment of our imagination most of the time (with exception to cases of legitimate abuse or neglect, obviously!) that what we have now is insufficient.

What you describe is a pattern of behavior demanding counseling, more so on his part than yours, but still couples counseling could be helpful as well.

Is he using you? Well I don't think a lot of people get married just to use someone.. I think he has internal conflict that has to be worked out and that he has to speak with someone immediately about it, as well as be more honest with you as well about what he is thinking and feeling.

The fact that one day he wants to divorce and the next he doesn't and he's fully willing to have sex with you is the most concerning part, probably the past that makes people say "He's using you". Frankly unless he's willing to be 100% certain of his commitment to you, I would not be sleeping with him, but at the same time I'd want to speak to a counselor first before cutting him off (which could, without communication and perhaps counseling, cause more problems than not).

Ultimately if you aren't comfortable with his behavior, make sure you aren't just giving in to sex because you feel it will "solve" anything. It won't. This is a deeper issue that requires deeper solutions.

If it were me, given ONLY the information in your original post.. I'd probably contest the divorce in favor of getting counseling, because right now I don't think your husband is thinking clearly and I think he will severely regret just up and leaving you without first working intensely to save the relationship. I'd want to push for that, even if he's not so sure.

I wouldn't hold my breath hoping he will change sometime soon, based on my experience with people like that.

John
NZ

Well true, if he has PTSD and is a Christian he is failing a basic scripture.. Husbands love your wife as Christ loves the church.. Fail right there..

Sometimes starting small is good, he should find a Christian counseler who can help him thru his PTSD.. And couple counseling so you can learn to help each other and you him and him you.. He needs to understand how much you love him and want to help him and encourage him. He is conflicted and needs help.

Oh and the PTSD counselr must be male, sorry but well we are all human...