i woke up at about 4:00 this morning with alot on my mind. i feel so out of place inthis world. sometimes i think I am the one who is out of it-not everyone else...
i am the "poster woman" on why G-d does not allow divorce. it makes such a mess of lives. you know, i married a man who had a child 18 months old-he is now 8 years old. we dedicated our lives to Christ right before we got married. My stepsons mom is very involved with our church-is actually a "leader type" in the singles ministry. my stepson came home here for the weekend and brought with him the costume his mom picked out for him for the church's fall festival (i guess she doesnt know we are NOT going). it is a black cape thingy with a black hood and face covering. my heart sank..... i want sometimes to grab my husband and kids (including my stepson) and run to a deserted island so we can live for G-d in peace. but i guess i don't have it as bad as Paul did...i should not be complaining. I am just concerned about my stepson. he has said he has made a decision to follow Christ and was baptised. His mom allows him pokemon, halloween (calling it fall festival) and other things that are not of G-d. I wonder how he feels about being here with us on the weekends...i am guessing we may be the boring home since we try to regulate what goes into our kids. i try to make things fun-Bible Baseball board games, Jonah "Go Fish" playing cards....
sometimes i am so discouraged.
Has anyone ever been AFRAID at learning and growing closer to G-d? See my Avatar?- that is how i feel G-d is relating to me right now. He is saying, "Come, grow with me". I am scared that the more i know the more i will see what is wrong around me that I can't change!!! I feel the Holy Spirit telling me over and over....pointing to MJism. but i want to turn away and hide my face. Like the woman who knows her husband is comitting adultry but ignores it because facing the Truth would be too hard..
I sat at a bible study that i go to every thursday morning. a woman said that "we should not "judge" others because just because the Holy Spirit has convicted us of something being wrong. we need to understand that maybe The Holy Spirit has not convicted the other person that it is wrong yet." this is the second time someone has said this. so i said something to the fact that "G-d's Word is absolute. It is black and white. There are rights/wrongs in it and those rights/wrongs are for EVERYONE."
uuugghhh!!! i am concerned about my kids. i teach them continually about
G-d and His ways. One of my 4 yr old's bible teachers came to me crying tears of pride and said whenever she reads a bible story and asks questions, my daughter is always the one with the right answer.... I know G-d is a part of their lives but i feel i am still struggling with this battle against the world.
i am the "poster woman" on why G-d does not allow divorce. it makes such a mess of lives. you know, i married a man who had a child 18 months old-he is now 8 years old. we dedicated our lives to Christ right before we got married. My stepsons mom is very involved with our church-is actually a "leader type" in the singles ministry. my stepson came home here for the weekend and brought with him the costume his mom picked out for him for the church's fall festival (i guess she doesnt know we are NOT going). it is a black cape thingy with a black hood and face covering. my heart sank..... i want sometimes to grab my husband and kids (including my stepson) and run to a deserted island so we can live for G-d in peace. but i guess i don't have it as bad as Paul did...i should not be complaining. I am just concerned about my stepson. he has said he has made a decision to follow Christ and was baptised. His mom allows him pokemon, halloween (calling it fall festival) and other things that are not of G-d. I wonder how he feels about being here with us on the weekends...i am guessing we may be the boring home since we try to regulate what goes into our kids. i try to make things fun-Bible Baseball board games, Jonah "Go Fish" playing cards....
sometimes i am so discouraged.
Has anyone ever been AFRAID at learning and growing closer to G-d? See my Avatar?- that is how i feel G-d is relating to me right now. He is saying, "Come, grow with me". I am scared that the more i know the more i will see what is wrong around me that I can't change!!! I feel the Holy Spirit telling me over and over....pointing to MJism. but i want to turn away and hide my face. Like the woman who knows her husband is comitting adultry but ignores it because facing the Truth would be too hard..
I sat at a bible study that i go to every thursday morning. a woman said that "we should not "judge" others because just because the Holy Spirit has convicted us of something being wrong. we need to understand that maybe The Holy Spirit has not convicted the other person that it is wrong yet." this is the second time someone has said this. so i said something to the fact that "G-d's Word is absolute. It is black and white. There are rights/wrongs in it and those rights/wrongs are for EVERYONE."
uuugghhh!!! i am concerned about my kids. i teach them continually about
G-d and His ways. One of my 4 yr old's bible teachers came to me crying tears of pride and said whenever she reads a bible story and asks questions, my daughter is always the one with the right answer.... I know G-d is a part of their lives but i feel i am still struggling with this battle against the world.