I don't want to live anymore.

AMHS24 · Oct 31, 2008

I am sorry I have not been keeping yo with this thread, I thank you all for the time you took to write such lovely posts and I have even more gratitude for the prayers you have said for me, the truth is I have been posting a lot in OBOB, this account is a sock puppet.
My name is Alex and I post most of the time under the SN Rhamiel.

Rhamiel · Oct 31, 2008

'tis true

JoabAnias · Oct 31, 2008

Dude, so glad your feeling better.

Something a wise deacon and Dr. once said:

He said the key to overcoming a low mood is early recognition that your in a low mood and not trying to analyze why we are having that mood while were still in it but to just recognize it and accept it because if we do try to analyze it, it just becomes worse.

He also said there is a sure fire way to get out of of a low mood and it works for me:

Its to spend time praising God and telling Him how good He is, how loving He is, how wise and perfect He is and on and on and I guarantee you the low mood will vanish.

I know these work because I have applied them in my own life as I too can get to feeling as you have.

Peace.

benedictaoo · Oct 31, 2008

Oh wow.

Confession is always there for us every time we fall no matter how many times we fall. I know how discouraging it can be when you want to be better so badly but you keep failing and you see no progress of actually being better.

I really do know but wanting to no longer live really is something different going on. Either something emotional is happening or the enemy really is really getting you to be this discourage so you will just give up.

So if the depression keeps up then I would some how, some way seek help for that. Talk to the priest and ask him where you can get help or call Catholic Charities in your area or even the JCC (Jewish community center). They both do sliding scale counseling that makes it very affordable.

And maybe the depression has something to do with why you keep falling. It really might not be because your will is not strong. If this is the case then do you really think your sins are mortal? You really do despise the sins, so I think something else is going on.

Rhamiel · Oct 31, 2008

thank you for your advice

Angeldove97 · Oct 31, 2008

Thank you for telling us I hope our prayers to our sweet Lord will continue to bless you

hopeblossom · Nov 2, 2008

I have thought of you a lot since you asked for help. I will continue to remember you in my prayers and I hope you remember that God has plans for your life and He loves you very much, more than any one of us can comprehend, His love is so great.
Take care.

MyLordIsMyLife · Nov 2, 2008

How are you doing, my brother? I pray the Lord is guiding you and is with you every moment. Call upon His Blood- the precious Blood never fails.

Happily yours in the Lord Jesus,
Jonathan

Rhamiel · Nov 17, 2008

i only feel worse, i can not put up with this much longer, i just want to end it all

JoabAnias · Nov 17, 2008

Check out this site brother:

http://www.catholictherapists.com/

You may have something physical going on that you could get treated for so you don't get so down.

Radagast · Nov 17, 2008

Praying for you, brother.

ukok · Nov 17, 2008

Rhamiel, i am so sorry that you are feeling worse. Please do not carry this burden alone, but rather let others help you carry it. Even Christ was helped to carry his cross, remember? If we are to follow Christ's example, we must admit that part of doing so means we have to accept tht we can not do everything alone. There are times in life when we need the support of other people. This certainly sounds like it is one of those times.

Have you been to see a priest or talked to someone who can give you some spiritual direction?

Do you know what it is that is leading you to feel so down, or is it that you feel confused and overwhelmed by everything and there are no specifics that you can point to, to say 'this' is the problem?

Please know that you remain in my prayers. Thinking of you. Please get help. Trying to get through this alone is not a good idea, we can't trust our own judgment on things when we are depressed.

(((hugs)))

benedictaoo · Nov 17, 2008

Rhamiel said:
i only feel worse, i can not put up with this much longer, i just want to end it all

end what? Your life? Get help from somewhere. Reach out to ppl who can actually do something, call a hot line, go to an emergency room.

We can pray for you and try to talk sense in you but you need to turn to ppl who can do something to help you. Go to your parents.

Miss Shelby · Nov 17, 2008

Rhamiel, the first thing you have to do is get off line.

This atmosphere, especially in OBOB is poison. Poison. I can tell you've set the bar way too high and now you're beating yourself up because you can't live up to it. I believe in large part that has to do with what you read in here.

None of us can live up to it. Stop beating yourself up, get off line and go see a doctor.

hsilgne · Nov 17, 2008

Miss Shelby said:
Rhamiel, the first thing you have to do is get off line.

This atmosphere, especially in OBOB is poison. Poison. I can tell you've set the bar way too high and now you're beating yourself up because you can't live up to it. I believe in large part that has to do with what you read in here.

None of us can live up to it. Stop beating yourself up, get off line and go see a doctor.

She's right Rhamiel.

stephenc · Nov 17, 2008

Prayers sent to God for you, Rhamiel.

Everyone here wishes you well, mate, but there's a lot to be said for talking to a professional.

That's not to say I entirely agree with Miss Shelby about riding in a straight line outta OBOB; but she's right about not letting the cold spray you get here now and then make you doubt your commitment to Christ. It strikes me as very genuine, btw.

ukok · Nov 17, 2008

Miss Shelby said:
Rhamiel, the first thing you have to do is get off line.

This atmosphere, especially in OBOB is poison. Poison. I can tell you've set the bar way too high and now you're beating yourself up because you can't live up to it. I believe in large part that has to do with what you read in here.

None of us can live up to it. Stop beating yourself up, get off line and go see a doctor.

There's also a fair amount of decent non-game-playing OBOBers who fellowship here and can offer encouragement and support and friendship to one another though, isn't there?

Lukaris · Nov 17, 2008

Lord have mercy. "My son, do not be negligent when you are sick. But pray to the Lord and He will heal you." (Sirach 38:9). "And keep in touch with your physician, For the Lord created him; And do not let him leave you, for you need him. There is a time when success is also in their hands, For they will pray to the Lord To give them success in bringing relief and healing, For the sake of preserving your life." (Sirach 38:12-15). If you need help, please obtain it as scripture instructs and those who care about you here say.

Miss Shelby · Nov 18, 2008

ukok said:
There's also a fair amount of decent non-game-playing OBOBers who fellowship here and can offer encouragement and support and friendship to one another though, isn't there?

yes, there is but if at the expense of someone's spiritual health it isn't worth it. your prayers will work whether he's here or not, and feelings that he can't live up to what God is asking of him tells me he doesn't need to constantly read things about Catholic teaching, esp. when it's laid out one dimenionally, it can come off as legalistic. What's good for some, might not be good for others.

ukok · Nov 18, 2008

Miss Shelby said:
yes, there is but if at the expense of someone's spiritual health it isn't worth it. your prayers will work whether he's here or not, and feelings that he can't live up to what God is asking of him tells me he doesn't need to constantly read things about Catholic teaching, esp. when it's laid out one dimenionally, it can come off as legalistic. What's good for some, might not be good for others.

Certainly that may be the case, but i would like to think it isn't all bad here and i would also like this fine Rhamiel to know that actually, him being a part of OBOB makes it a better place!

That isn't intending pressure to be put on him to remain, but i think Rhamiel needs to know that his posts are often very encouraging to others and informative and helpful.

I don't want to live anymore.

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