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Not everyone who has talent will ever get to use it. I'm sure there are some children starving to death in Africa right now who would have made excellent doctors, lawyers, and scientists.
Of course, your post did make me think of things in a way I hadn't before. If God never gives me any abilities, he can't really blame me for not using my nonexistant abilities, just like he can't blame those poor children who never got the chance to use what they were given.
I can absorb all I want intellectually, but it won't do me any good until I get an opportunity to apply what I've learned. How can I truly grow in Christ when my existence is so stagnant?
Maybe I do interpret the Gospels incorrectly. Christ's teachings as I understand them have always made me feel encouraged to live and grow and incite change. But the desire to do all that is killing me inside, because I have nowhere to use it. As I look out into the city and think of all those people out there stuck in dead-end jobs and cold marriages, I realize that most people wouldn't.
I desire too much. And I don't know how to change that.
I will finish it, as it certainly can't hurt. I think what put me of at first was the superficial resemblance to that Law of Attraction fad, which conflicted with Christian principles in several ways. I'm sure once I read a bit more of the Hill book the differences will become apparent.
The Bible contains God's story. In that plot we are living in the turning point of history which began at Pentecost. That story is about Jesus being enthroned as Lord of this world, and we are the advance representatives who are co-operating with Him in that renewal. That understanding has given me significant new depths to my faith. I am not waiting around for 'heaven' but am experimenting with principles in the here and now that I will experience in ever increasing depth forever.
John
NZ
My pastor did a sermon on this a few weeks ago, actually. It was very uplifting at first, until I got the distinct feeling I was wearing a red shirt and standing next to a woman named Mary Sue.
How about revisiting what uplifted you initially? Try and identify what resonated within, and maybe we can develop that a bit further.
John
NZ
Generations upon generations of people handing these oral and written narratives down, sometimes perhaps, embellishing or changing or misunderstanding them, but preserving their core truths. People fighting and dieing to preserve these truths...even in cases where the other side claimed to have the divine backing. And ultimately, I had inherited them.
Of course, real history is far from being the clean, linear narrative we all desire it to have.
Oh, I'd also like to point out that you have effectively replied to my posts so far by saying that you don't have anything that you desire or that you hope for, and then by saying that you desire or hope for too much:
"I do not lack hope because I think I'll never be able to accomplish certain goals; I lack hope because I have nothing specific to hope for."
"I desire too much. And I don't know how to change that."
Am I misunderstanding what you're saying, or is there an inconsistency in your logic?
Hope implies optimism. I wouldn't call them the same thing. I see my desire for purpose as hope no more than I see hunger or thirst as hope. It is a need, albeit psychological rather than physical, that is not being filled.
The drama of a big picture gets to you. But that sort of gets lost in the humdrum of life? A couple of comments.
In NT times Rome ruled, the largest empire that had ever been seen in that part of the world. It was around 60M people and held together by the imperial army. Into that came a small group of people, about 10,000 max at the end of the 1st Century who said that a Jewish rabbi who had been killed as a criminal was the true Lord of the entire world, not Caesar. Without weapons or protest they grew to around 32M within three centuries and changed Roman society.
Today, church can seem to be a pretty ineffective, irrelevant group of people. Comfortable, decent but somewhat boring.
Thus, there is little sense of a big picture story being worked out. Does this make any sense to where you are at?
John
NZ
Yes, but you said earlier that you have nothing to hope for. You also said earlier that you have much you desire, which you rightly said does not require optimism as does hope. But if you have much that you desire, that is the same thing as having much that you could hope for. The problem is not that you don't have anything to hope for; it is that you do not hope for it. This is what I've been saying all along. It is likely that you have not seen the power of God at work, and you doubt that such power exists or could enter into your life.
How does one deal with having no desire to do anything with one's life? Because, I can honestly say I don't.
This is not to say that I'm content doing nothing...I'd give just about anything to have some talents or a drive to accomplish something specific. I just don't, if that makes sense.
<snip>
Oh, and thank you for taking the time to read all that. I know it's long. I just figured I'd get the same old, unsuccessful advice I always hear out of the way.
Sorry, I did not. People may tell you you can do something for God, but you can not do anything for God.
Do what it is God has given you to do and what you are good at.
Live a happy life free of worry and accusations from foolish people who do not understand you.
You can not pay back God for anything nor do anything for Him. Why is that hard to understand?
It's good that you enjoy your life. Do you have any insights on how you manage to keep this positive attitude?
I enjoy the same things everyone else enjoys: books, movies, games, etc. Nothing really unusual though, aside from maybe DND, which is basically the same thing as an entire genre of video games but in pen and paper form. Nor would I say I am truly passionate about film or games or literature. I used to think I was, but college made me realize I simply enjoyed experiencing them. I have no desire to study them as a career, and I do not have the artistic ability or the PR skills to participate in their creation.
And who doesn't look at ANY work of art, no matter how well executed, and think of ways they would improve it? Everyone's a critic, as they say. This bit of human nature also applies to professional sports, politics...basically all human activity. I'm not sure where you're trying to go with that one...
I try not to compare myself to others, but in this case, I feel lacking compared to pretty much everyone. I've never heard anyone else fail to list one or more things they were passionate about when asked. Surely all those people can't be lying.
Is everyone a critic? Some people have no ability to appreciate art at all beyond saying, "That's nice. It reminds me of a sunset." Again, let's start from what you've said. So you don't have the desire to study art, film, music, etc. in depth, but you enjoy experiencing them. Whether everyone appreciates these same things is not important; what matters is that you enjoy them.
Can you explain to others how or why you enjoy these things? If so, then you might try doing reviews. Epinions.com is a great place to start.
Ok, you mentioned D&D, which I absolutely love. So...what about it appeals to you? To me, what I love about the game is the ability to create endless stories with my friends. I get to be creative; I get to paint worlds; and furthermore, people like to be around me when I do it. So it can be a big ego boost. Yes, I'm usually the DM.
Even if you're not the DM, but a player, you have the have the ability to visualize in order to enjoy the game. Visual thinkers are usually creative.
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