How to approach conversations with your teens about sex

Michie · Mar 3, 2021

A professional therapist suggests some practical tips.

Once kids have reached their adolescence, their parents brace themselves for “that” conversation. They may feel uneasy about the topic of sexuality and end up sounding both preachy and superficial. But many teens want to run away when their parents approach them saying, “We have to talk,” says French sex therapist, Thérèse Hargot.

So, what is the right way to broach the subject? “By introducing it fairly early on,” says Hargot. “Sexuality begins to develop at a very early age … It is based on the way the parents see their child.”

The conversation must vary from junior high to high school

A child’s vision of sexuality is shaped by their environment. It depends on whether the parents love each other, and whether their own sexuality corresponds to the message they are trying to drive home.“The way parents live and love one another is worth more than a thousand words,” says Hargot. “A happy parent doesn’t think about how and when they must talk about sexuality.”

Continued below.
How to approach conversations with your teens about sex

mama2one · Mar 3, 2021

if parents are waiting until their kids are teens, it's too late!

I got a book and read it to child summer before 3 rd grade.

Girls can start their periods as young as age 9.

Kids will talk at school and in neighborhood BEFORE becoming a teen.
Don't wait or your kids won't hear it from YOU first.

Michie · Mar 3, 2021

So, what is the right way to broach the subject? “By introducing it fairly early on,” says Hargot. “Sexuality begins to develop at a very early age … It is based on the way the parents see their child.”

mama2one · Mar 3, 2021

redundant

Michie · Mar 3, 2021

mama2one said:
"The conversation must vary from junior high to high school"

too late

when I went to school, kids were having babies in jr high

I think I just posted where she advises starting to educate your children early on.

mama2one · Mar 3, 2021

redundant

Michie · Mar 3, 2021

mama2one said:
there is no age in that article on when to start
instead it mentions jr high & high school

I've read articles that say sex education begins when kids are toddlers

some parents make up fake names for body parts at that age...not the way to go

Nobody said otherwise. Or advises what you are describing.

mama2one · Mar 3, 2021

Michie said:
“A happy parent doesn’t think about how and when they must talk about sexuality.”

^ from article posted in post no. 1

actually, a happy responsible parent does makes plans to talk with their child often

it keeps the child connected & unafraid to ask questions

our child has asked so many questions since 3rd grade, questions that I would have never asked my parents, ever

as Catholic parents, they were afraid to discuss sex & never did!

Michie · Mar 3, 2021

mama2one said:
actually, a happy responsible parent does makes plans to talk with their child often

it keeps the child connected & unafraid to ask questions

our child has asked so many questions since 3rd grade
questions that I would have never asked my parents, ever

as Catholic parents, they were afraid to discuss sex & never did!

Thanks for reading the article.

mama2one · Mar 3, 2021

I did read article not just what's posted in post one

Michie · Mar 3, 2021

mama2one said:
wasn't a good one

titled how to talk to your teens
too late!

teens are having sex

we talk often to our child that sex is for marriage

Well maybe you should contact the therapist whose comments are in the article. I liked it.

mama2one · Mar 3, 2021

Michie · Mar 3, 2021

mama2one said:
from article :
“Each thing in its time,” insists Hargot. Once they get to junior high, children discover their changing bodies and need to get used to them

sorry, but kid's bodies change BEFORE junior high

in fifth grade, a friend of my daughter started her period at school
she had a mess & was unprepared

Well sorry this article disappointed you. I hope it did not ruin your day.

”Each thing in its time,” insists Hargot. Once they get to junior high, children discover their changing bodies and need to get used to them. While they wonder about their own identity, the talk of emotional maturity seems fairly abstract to them.But when they get to high school, these seeds may fall into fertile soil, because they’ve grown both emotionally and spiritually. “You must attain a certain level of emotional maturity to consider the joy of chastity before marriage,” says Hargo.

mama2one · Mar 3, 2021

Michie said:
Well maybe you should contact the therapist that wrote the article.

author of article quoted
Therese Hargot, 33-year-old a Belgian sexologist with a secular viewpoint

Michie · Mar 3, 2021

Avoiding the pitfalls

Finally, parents must avoid the certain pitfalls. The first one consists of discussing sexuality in prohibitive terms. The second is only focusing on physical beauty or on the importance of babies being born. In the first case, the adult overlooks that the child must discover his or her own body and discover in time what it feels like to be in love. In the second, the adult neglects to mention that a baby is not the only fruit of marriage, but a great gift meant to be received from God.

mama2one · Mar 3, 2021

double post

Michie · Mar 3, 2021

mama2one said:
At the base, there is the question: What have we made of sexual liberation conquered in the sixties? This is the starting point of Therese Hargot, 33-year-old a Belgian sexologist, graduate in Philosophy and specialized in Social Sciences at the Sorbonne, in the investigation that led to the book "Youth Sexually Liberated (or Almost)"—the first book published in Italy by the therapist, who lives and teaches in Paris, where she shocked France with her essay.

"In fact—said Hargot, whose point of view is purely secular—the revolution that supposedly took place thirty years ago led to obedience to another, in which women remain slaves."

I’m afraid you are missing the intent of the article and are discussing two different things.

mama2one · Mar 3, 2021

author quoted therapist who writes from a "purely secular" viewpoint & believes woman are slaves:

"In fact—said Hargot, whose point of view is purely secular—the revolution that supposedly took place thirty years ago led to obedience to another, in which women remain slaves."

Michie · Mar 3, 2021

mama2one said:
"In fact—said Hargot, whose point of view is purely secular—the revolution that supposedly took place thirty years ago led to obedience to another, in which women remain slaves."

Here is the whole article in its context.

A professional therapist suggests some practical tips.

Once kids have reached their adolescence, their parents brace themselves for “that” conversation. They may feel uneasy about the topic of sexuality and end up sounding both preachy and superficial. But many teens want to run away when their parents approach them saying, “We have to talk,” says French sex therapist, Thérèse Hargot.

So, what is the right way to broach the subject? “By introducing it fairly early on,” says Hargot. “Sexuality begins to develop at a very early age … It is based on the way the parents see their child.”

The conversation must vary from junior high to high school

A child’s vision of sexuality is shaped by their environment. It depends on whether the parents love each other, and whether their own sexuality corresponds to the message they are trying to drive home.“The way parents live and love one another is worth more than a thousand words,” says Hargot. “A happy parent doesn’t think about how and when they must talk about sexuality.”

But this non-verbal education is not a substitute for a more straightforward discussion on the topic. Here as well, parents must demonstrate their patience and educational knowhow. These days, to move away from general discourse that trivializes sexual experience, glorifies sexuality and worships the body, one must advance very slowly.

“Each thing in its time,” insists Hargot. Once they get to junior high, children discover their changing bodies and need to get used to them. While they wonder about their own identity, the talk of emotional maturity seems fairly abstract to them.But when they get to high school, these seeds may fall into fertile soil, because they’ve grown both emotionally and spiritually. “You must attain a certain level of emotional maturity to consider the joy of chastity before marriage,” says Hargo.

Avoiding the pitfalls

Finally, parents must avoid the certain pitfalls. The first one consists of discussing sexuality in prohibitive terms. The second is only focusing on physical beauty or on the importance of babies being born. In the first case, the adult overlooks that the child must discover his or her own body and discover in time what it feels like to be in love. In the second, the adult neglects to mention that a baby is not the only fruit of marriage, but a great gift meant to be received from God.

Olivia de Fournas

Michie · Mar 3, 2021

mama2one said:
I'm showing you WHO the author of article is

"In fact—said Hargot, whose point of view is purely secular—the revolution that supposedly took place thirty years ago led to obedience to another, in which women remain slaves."

I know who the author is as I posted. I’m thinking you do not get it. And remember, I’m on a phone. I mistype all the time or the phone takes over. I have correct things all the time.

How to approach conversations with your teens about sex

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