- Dec 17, 2015
- 955
- 1,315
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Private
How many times can the prodigal son return? I have an emotional dependency on someone that I can't seem to break. Every time I feel he is putting space between us I panic and make up a lie to pull him back. The thing is, I know he isn't going anywhere, yet something inside me freaks out at the slightest hint of abandonment.
How can I break this cycle? I feel like the Lord is shaking His head at me in disappointment. I am making this conscious decision to lie (out of fear). I'm disgusted with myself and can only imagine how disgusted God must be. Each time I try to pick myself up, repent, and be better, but it always happens again and again.
Where is the point where God says "I'm done. You've had many chances. You are choosing to do this sinful thing. Get away from Me."? I love Him so much and yet I feel helpless to stop this cycle. Should I hang my head in shame, tell Him I'm sorry, and walk away? That's what I'm struggling with. I feel like I cannot even pray anymore because He is so disgusted with me.
How can I break this cycle? I feel like the Lord is shaking His head at me in disappointment. I am making this conscious decision to lie (out of fear). I'm disgusted with myself and can only imagine how disgusted God must be. Each time I try to pick myself up, repent, and be better, but it always happens again and again.
Where is the point where God says "I'm done. You've had many chances. You are choosing to do this sinful thing. Get away from Me."? I love Him so much and yet I feel helpless to stop this cycle. Should I hang my head in shame, tell Him I'm sorry, and walk away? That's what I'm struggling with. I feel like I cannot even pray anymore because He is so disgusted with me.