How long has it been since the loss of your spouse?

robert adams · Dec 10, 2005

BeanMac, you mentioned being busy. I think that may be a key.

I was asked to teach an evening class shortly after my wife died. I was still using a walker after my stroke. I was not inclined to do it as I felt very impaired and did not want to make a fool of myself. The school and my family were very supportive. So, I did it! It was exhausting and a struggle. But, it forced me to concentrate on something besides my grief. I did break down in class, once. (I realized what I had done to cause my emots. to overwhelm me and avoided that in the future.) I was able to graduate from the walker to walking and continue to teach on a semi-regular basis. It does keep my mind occupied, which has been a big help. It is all in the mind, isn't it.

Bob

Eric66 · Dec 10, 2005

I just discovered this forum and am thankful for the posts made by all of you. It helps to know there are others that are going through the same things that I am.

My wife passed away on 4/19/04. It was very sudden. She died of complications from a heart condition during an evening walk with our 5 month old daughter. She collapsed right in front of me and never revived. She was only 31.

Even after more than a year and a half, I find it is hard to just get out of bed in the morning. I'm thankful my parents and in-laws remain in my life to help me take care of my daughter. My daughter is the light of my life, and I'm so thankful she has so many of my wife's wonderful qualities. As hard as things seem to be, my faith remains strong. I know where she is and I know I will see her again. And I know that God is still in control.

McWilliams · Dec 10, 2005

Welcome to this forum Eric! I am so very sorry for such a severe loss in your life! What a blessing to have a daughter and for her to be a reminder of that one you cared so much for! You will find much support and comfort here! Come often, stay long, share your thoughts! Meanwhile you are in my prayers, that our sweet Lord will comfort you and guide your life, and draw you close to Himself! God bless you!
Is. 26:3

Bevlina · Dec 11, 2005

Eric welcome to the Forum, just pour your heart out here. We know your pain and grief.
She was only 31! That is tragic! You poor Darling soul! You are in my heart prayer too!
So ... how are you coping now? 18 months is still early days. You have alot of grief to get through yet.

Eric66 · Dec 11, 2005

Thank you, Folks, for the welcome, blessings, thoughts, and prayers. I'm still struggling, of course. We were married for less than 5 years, so I feel like we were still newlyweds. Our daughter, Melody, brought my wife such joy, and I'm so thankful she was so happy.

My daughter is now 2 and she is my little angel. We talk about her Mommy all the time, and I have hours and hours of video of her. Melody will always know who her Mom is.

My in-laws struggle quite a bit, too. They lost their only child. I'm thankful they are so involved in Melody's life, as they play such an important role. And I don't know how I would get through the day to day of being a single father without their involvement.

Thanks again for your kind words.

Eric

CountryLady · Dec 11, 2005

Hello Eric66, Welcome! I'm so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your daughter in my thoughts and prayers.

Bevlina · Dec 12, 2005

Eric66 said:
Thank you, Folks, for the welcome, blessings, thoughts, and prayers. I'm still struggling, of course. We were married for less than 5 years, so I feel like we were still newlyweds. Our daughter, Melody, brought my wife such joy, and I'm so thankful she was so happy.

My daughter is now 2 and she is my little angel. We talk about her Mommy all the time, and I have hours and hours of video of her. Melody will always know who her Mom is.

My in-laws struggle quite a bit, too. They lost their only child. I'm thankful they are so involved in Melody's life, as they play such an important role. And I don't know how I would get through the day to day of being a single father without their involvement.

Thanks again for your kind words.

Eric

Oh my Lord, married less than 5 years would be a big blow to take. But, your wife left a part of herself with you eric, your little girl. She gave her life, for you, for the rest of your life. So she left you a treasured gift.
You poor in law's must be struggling so hard each time they see their little grandaughter as there would be characteristics they would note which were like your wife's when she was her age.
My prayers are with you all.

c1ners · Dec 12, 2005

Hi Terry,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I was 22 when my husband and I were in a car accident. I sat parallized as he took his last breath and died. That was over eighteen years ago, and I still find it hard to breath. Yes, it does get easier, but the pain never goes away. The only advise that I can give you right now is to never let go of the memories. Be strong, and know that God loves you and has a plan for you. It may be difficult right now, but know that there are people out here praying for you.
God Bless!

mare61 · May 2, 2006

It has been one month since God took my hubby home to be with Him. I do believe I would be having a much harder time if we hadn't grieved so long before he passed. The cancer took him away from us long before God took his spirit Home. God has given me peace that passes all understanding.

Phil 4:11 For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therein to be content.

Take care, Mare

c1ners · May 2, 2006

mare61 said:
It has been one month since God took my hubby home to be with Him. I do believe I would be having a much harder time if we hadn't grieved so long before he passed. The cancer took him away from us long before God took his spirit Home. God has given me peace that passes all understanding.

Phil 4:11 For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therein to be content.

Take care, Mare

Big hugs to you sweetie.

How old are your boys?

McWilliams · May 2, 2006

mare61 said:
It has been one month since God took my hubby home to be with Him. I do believe I would be having a much harder time if we hadn't grieved so long before he passed. The cancer took him away from us long before God took his spirit Home. God has given me peace that passes all understanding.

Phil 4:11 For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therein to be content.

Take care, Mare

The period of time where you are is very difficult as you continue on through the stages of grief, back and forth, back and forth, wondering where it will all stop and 'who' you will then be! It is hard to believe at this moment that this Mother's Day will be the 10th anniversary of my dh homegoing! Seems I was just useless afterward for such a while. Little by little I emerged, became more involved with friends and family and church! God leads His dear children along! He does this with such care and grace and love! For a while it helps to make very few or no demands on yourself and just float along, caring for yourself, being very kind to yourself as you are healed from such a major trauma of losing your whole 'other self'! God bless and keep you. You are in my prayers!

leanne708 · May 2, 2006

I lost my husband on the 5 January 2005

tams67 · May 2, 2006

My husband passed away Feb. 14 1998. It seems like yesterday. I still mis him so much.
Tams

Pilgrim1951 · May 2, 2006

mare61 said:
It has been one month since God took my hubby home to be with Him. I do believe I would be having a much harder time if we hadn't grieved so long before he passed. The cancer took him away from us long before God took his spirit Home. God has given me peace that passes all understanding.

Phil 4:11 For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therein to be content.

Take care, Mare

My heart goes out to you, Mare. My husband passed away 5 weeks ago tomorrow. His cancer took him quick. Ten weeks from the time he was diagnosed to the day he died. I know exactly what you mean by the grieving before he left. God bless you, I'll be praying for you.

I haven't made it to Phil 4:11 yet. I want to be content in whatever state I'm in, just not there yet. Maybe someday. I do cling to Jesus as tightly as I am able, and He is faithful to give me the grace I need each day.

Love in Him,
Pilgrim

tns · Jun 27, 2006

Terri said:
My dear husband Jim went to be with the Lord May 8, 2005.

Hi Terri, Sorry about your loss. I'm new to this forum. My late husband's name was also Jim. He died at home on October 28th, 2003. This forum is helping me, because I don't feel so alone.

McWilliams · Jun 27, 2006

So glad you're here Tris! Being with others and sharing makes such a difference and the Lord is good to us in bringing us together! God bless!

ComesoonmyLORD · Jul 5, 2006

McWilliams said:
So glad you're here Tris! Being with others and sharing makes such a difference and the Lord is good to us in bringing us together! God bless!

Our beloved Ginger went home January 31, 2006.

BlestByTheBest · Aug 2, 2006

To everyone:
I am so very sorry for your losses....so very sorry. This is the hardest thing I've ever been through.

It has been over 5 yrs for me now. My Bob died Feb 9, 2001. He was 48 and I was 47.
God has worked wonders in my heart and in my life these past few years. God is so good.
The path is a long and difficult one, but I think the best advice I ever got was to try and take each day as it comes. Sometimes though, I would just try to get through one hour at a time. Just by being still and breathing. and NOT thinking any further ahead than that hour.
Looking too far into the future was so frightening to me. God taught me how to live one day at a time.
I miss Bob...some days more than others. And there are actually times when a whole day (or 2) will go by and I hadn't thought about him.
Time does heal...but I don't think it's something that a person ever really "gets over" ... I think it's something that a person learns to live with.
God bless you and comfort you all.
Please PM if you'd like someone to talk to. I'm a good listener.

McWilliams · Aug 2, 2006

God bless and comfort you also! We who come here find comfort from each other, knowing we understand the feelings and how difficult it can be at times, even though we're christians! God does comfort us, but He comforts us because He knows how our hearts hurt from losing the one so dear to our heart! We go on, moment by moment, carefully, cautiously awaiting the feeling of our Lords sweet comfort to our very soul!
May He bless all of the aching hearts today and draw them ever closer to Himself!

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand (Isa. 41:10).

How long has it been since the loss of your spouse?

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