How Do You Cope When You've Lost Everything?

Lisa*Lisa said:

Ok Brenda, that sounds like a good plan, I can do that. Thank you.

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We should probably be specific. Aside from the obvious, job & husband - is there anything else?

I want you to hang in there and see this through. I'm doing the same.

Come back here and post when you need support. I'll keep my eye on this thread.

I understand a lot of what you're going through.
My husband was laid off several years back when the factory he worked for as a manager was closed down. At that time the real estate market was booming in our area so he got a license & the first year he made the same as his manager salary had been. Things were going well & we were buying rental property & also buying foreclosures to remodel & sell. After he got his 3 years in that are required to open his own business we opened a real estate firm. Then guess what, the bottom fell out of the market! Never in our lives had we gotten behind on a bill or had any credit problems & now we have defaulted on several credit card accounts because we had to use them for basic expenses such as food, medical needs, etc. whereas before we had paid the cards off entirely every month. I do still have a job & we are not behind on our house payment but there have been times the electricity bill was late & so forth. It's a constant worry.
So with that said, I can imagine what you're going through. These situations tend to make us sit around & wonder what we did wrong or if we're being punished but that's not always the case. Things like this can happen even if you're living smack dab in the will of God, I know people in those situations. Sometimes it has a different purpose in our lives, something we might not learn until later. The only advice I know to give is stay in the Word of God, be faithful in daily prayer, earnestly & honestly seek His will & be open to accepting anything He might say even if we have to face some things we don't want to. Ask Him to reveal any areas of your life where any repentance is needed just in case there is something He wants to deal with.
I have friends who got out of Florida just before the market crashed so I know it's been terrible there. The only thing I know for any of us to do is stay as close to the Lord as we can so that we are in a position to hear His voice & receive His blessing and healing. I hope & pray this situation works out for you soon.

Lisa*Lisa said:

I"m NOT trying to "make money". I"ve already LOST 200k on it! The days of making money are OVER! Making money is a profit, and there is no profit here, it's a total loss. I"m trying to get a tiny bit over what the mortgage is so I can find another place to live!

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... ouch...

I actually did not mean "make money" like some profit. I realize you are taking a loss.

I meant "make money" as opposed to a foreclosure. Houses have to be sold within the price range of houses around you are currently selling. That is how houses are largely valued, by current sell prices in the vicinity. Property improvements and such are a much smaller figure in that.


Even if you have to sell for less or have the house foreclosed, you can still find another place to live. It is ugly and not happy, but once it is over with and you are settled in then you can focus on the 'here and now'. With shelter, clothes, food, and probably more then a few extra amenities to make your life easier.

What is important is your life. Your heart. Your peace.


Everything outside should not bring you down. It can, but you have to focus on that. We are not to suffer the sorrow of this world. We should not let that sorrow break us or tear us down. The Spirit of Christ lifts us up out of all sorrow this world threatens to give. We follow Jesus who went homeless: 'foxes have holes, birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay His head'.


I have gone homeless before, after having been rich, and at first it was miserable. It had miserable moments. But I found largely incredible peace.

When I one time took off into the wilderness as a young man to see what was beyond my four walls and the norms of society I found 'the Lord provides' wherever we are if we trust Him.


If we have a chance to trust Jesus on trusting God about food, shelter, and clothes we should rejoice, for not everyone has such a chance and we can take great comfort knowing that when we dispel our doubts and fears about tomorrow or our current situation we are completely safe in doing so.


I am in very bad straits myself right now. I won't go into it. But, I know when the Devil comes telling me the worst and showing me the worst possibilities that I have a choice. To accept that and wallow in fear and depression, or to reject it and look on the bright side of life.

Lisa*Lisa said:

We have already lowered it 4 times over the last year, and still not even 1 offer. Our asking price now is just a little over what we owe on the mortgage. I believe we owe more on it then it's worth now as the market down here in florida has completely collapsed.

The banks, government and investors have caused this nightmare for honest hard working people. They destroyed the economy and the real estate market. They are responsible for our business tanking and they are responsible for us loosing all of the equity in our home and it falling below what we owe on it. They have ruined millions of lives and they got away with it.

It's a crime that unfortunately nobody will pay for, there is no justice in this world. There is no one criminal that I can take to court, point my finger at and say "You did this to me, and you will be accountable for is" because this mess was caused by the greedy wealthy powerful people, not the middle hard working class people like me who were just trying to have a little nest egg for their retirement. What's even worse, is that they are going to profit again from the suffering of the regular people. As the banks take people's homes, and sell them for very low prices, the investors and the wealthy buy them up, rent them out and ride the wave back up as real estate recovers. Then they will sell them for a profit and get even richer. The whole thing makes me physically ill.

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It's things like that which make it easy to understand why The Lord said -

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven.
And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. <-----> Matthew 19:23+24

I'm still wondering - if the bank takes your home , does that relieve you of the mortgage ? Or do you still owe them money on top of losing your home ?

Also encourage you to look at what you can learn from the choices you've made - focusing on what others have done wrong , doesn't help much , because we can't very well control what others choose to do ...

Hope + pray The Lord's Help comes to you presently .

wm

Hang in there.

I have lived through loosing everything. You can fight through the pain & sometimes in the midst of it all . . . see incredible blessing. I am willing to talk more through PM. Life and hope are stronger than stone and sorrow.

Lisa*Lisa said:

I tried to console my husband, he rejected it. He is angry, bitter, upset, devastated, depressed and desperate. He is not a believer, so he has no faith to hold onto. It's very sad. He is still talking about suicide, so I guess my mission now is to try and help him spiritually. It's a huge burden an overwhelming for one small spiritually weak woman to deal with. But I guess I'll get through it one way or another.

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Lisa, you did the right thing by reaching out to your Christian brothers and sisters for consolation and by praying, and by trying to console and pray for your husband. You are right. It's a huge burden. That is why we have church families, so that we can bear one another's burdens - and in the absence of a church family, maybe your brothers and sisters here at CF can help a little. I really hope you are having success at finding a church home.
God bless you richly
tal

Lisa*Lisa said:

My husband is a very talented jeweler and goldsmith with 40 years experience. I work online, taking photos of the jewelry that he makes and sell it online. That's the only experience that we have. Unfortunately, our business these days is terrible, nobody wants jewelry when they can't pay their mortgage and people are hurting all over the place. The last thing they want is a piece of jewelry. It's very difficult.

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Try selling in other countries? There is no economic depression where I live.

Lisa*Lisa said:

Yes, if the bank forecloses, and they sell it for less then you owe on it, they come after you for the balance. Bankruptcy might clear the debt, i"m not sure. We aren't to that point yet.

Yesterday I came to terms with this whole disaster. I prayed hard, and I told God that whatever His will is, I accept it. I just asked for strength to get through it.

I tried to console my husband, he rejected it. He is angry, bitter, upset, devastated, depressed and desperate. He is not a believer, so he has no faith to hold onto. It's very sad. He is still talking about suicide, so I guess my mission now is to try and help him spiritually. It's a huge burden an overwhelming for one small spiritually weak woman to deal with. But I guess I'll get through it one way or another.

Two people came to look at the house yesterday, neither seemed interested.

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Thanks for the info Lisa x2 ,

I'm glad you're finding the resolve to seek God's will , and look to Him for strength .

It's good to seek to console , but if your husband is too upset , pray for him , give him some space , and try to not press or push him , but let him know you're there for him , and when he's ready to embrace your consoling he'll come to you for it .

The Lord has said that His Strength is made perfect in our weakness ( 2nd Corinthians 12:9 ) , for it is when we sense that we are weak that we are compelled to seek and draw upon The Lord's Strength .

In this light , you are not alone in this situation , and God's Help makes a world of difference !

Give thanks to The Lord , for hope , which hopes , because of Who and What He Is - for this is the hope which situation and circumstance cannot deter .

The fact that two people came at least to look , signifies that there is some stirring up of possibility .

Suggest prayerfully evaluating if there's any thing which might be acting as a blocker between you and God . Things such as bitterness , grudges , resentment , against others , or anything which sharply conflicts with Christ's Witness . And if something stands out - prayerfully seek to let it go , and think differently .

May The Lord's Faithfulness Prevail , Protect , and Provide !

wm

I know what its like to have lost everything. I pray that God sees you through this, and I know that He will, try to see it from Eternity's perspective and thank God for what you still do have.

Sadly, many people are experiencing circumstances similar to yours. Fortunately, we can CHOOSE to trust in God. We can trust in God to bring us into His perfect plan for our lives and to bring restoration. We can do what we know to do and stand in faith, trusting in God&#8217;s grace cover the rest. We can reject all thoughts coming from the enemy, including thoughts of death and suicide. We can focus on Jesus and ask Him to bring us peace and strength.

John 10:10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. (NKJV)
Ephesians 6:13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. (NKJV)
James 4:7 So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (NLT)