Let me introduce myself, my name is Steve. I am aged 41 years old. I live in the Midlands in the United Kingdom. If you were to see me in the street you would probably think that I would be the last person who would believe in a loving and merciful God. You see the first thing that you would probably notice about me is my disability. I have Cerebral Palsy, use a powered wheelchair to get around, have poor coordination of all my limbs, and have a speech impairment. Yet despite these difficulties I am a committed Christian.
You may think I have every reason to be angry and bitter with the world and any God who made it. After all how can someone who appears to have so many difficulties in life believe in a just and loving God? Well, let me tell you a bit about myself, what I believe, and why I believe it.
I was born in Birmingham. I was brought up in a loving non-Christian family. I went to a special school in Birmingham, where I became the "star" pupil due to my uses of new technology (computers were very new back then in 1979). I left school aged nineteen with five CSEs and three 'O' levels. I went straight on to a college in Coventry. This was a residential college for physically disabled students. I had a fantastic three years there and took three more 'O' levels, two 'A' levels, and a GCSE. I then came to Nottingham to do a three year sandwich course at Trent Polytechnic, which equipped me with a Higher National Diploma in Computer Studies. I spent my industrial placement year in the Computer Division at County Hall and this lead to a permanent job. I worked for the local Council in full time employment for 14 years as a computer analyst / programmer, however, I had to retire from full-time paid work in 2005 as it became too much to physically manage on top of my disability. I now try to keep busy through voluntary work. As you can see, although I am disabled, I have achieved an awful lot. More than I would have dared to dream of in my mid teens.
I didn't become a Christian until I was 22 years old. Before then I thought people who went to church were weird, dull, and gullible. But looking back I actually knew very little about the Christian faith and thought Jesus was a made up character, invented to teach good morals. I was very anti-god because of my assumptions about Christian people and I didn't consider God as a real possibility.
However, when I started at college, I met someone and we became very good friends. I knew he went to church, so we had discussions about Christianity and I asked all the usual awkward questions. He eventually persuaded me to go with him to a Sunday morning service. I went out of curiosity, besides, it gave me something to do. To my surprise I actually enjoyed the service despite finding some things quite strange, and I needed little encouragement to go again.
After some weeks of hearing the word of God, I found that the more I heard, the more it made sense to me. As time went on, my faith grew. I could also see where God had been in my life in the past, but I did not know him at that time. I cannot put an exact date on when I became a Christian, but I knew that I could never be right with God, unless I accepted that I was a sinner in God's eyes and by my own doing I could never reach God's standards. I knew that I needed to ask Jesus into my life, and to accept that Jesus was nailed to the cross and crucified, to pay the price for my sins and to clothe me in Jesus' righteousness before God. Once I did this I knew from then on, the Father loves me and that no one can take this away from me!
I was disabled before I came to know the Lord and I am still disabled today, but I still trust in God's purposes and promises to me. Some people might say, "Why me? Why did I end up being disabled?" I say, "Why not me?" Someone has to be the one person in a thousand to have Cerebral Palsy, so why not me? You see, I believe we live in a fallen world and ultimately that is why I am disabled, but God has saved me, is with me day by day, and will take me home to be with him one day! I believe God has a purpose for my life and can use me just as I am and put me in situations that no one else could do. I do not see any conflict between being disabled and being a Christian; in fact I do not know how I managed to cope without the knowledge of the existence of a loving and caring God.
You see without God what is the purpose of our existence? I once heard someone say, "We're born, life is a bummer, then we die". If this is the best we can hope for? Then I think I might throw myself under a bus and avoid the 'bummer' part of life. However, with God there is so much more to live for and so much to look forward to in the future, i.e. Heaven. Once we accept Jesus as our one and only saviour, we receive so many promises from God.
I guess this gives you some idea of my background and core values. I have to confess at this point that I am struggling with the issue of singleness and I long for intimacy and physical contact. Ultimately, I am looking for that special soul mate and companion, someone to share lifes highs and lows with.
Some people in my position would try to hide their disability in order to gain immediate acceptance, but for me that would go against all my principals of honesty and trustworthiness. I have Cerebral Palsy and outwardly, my body may not be the norm, but inwardly, I have the same needs, hopes, desires, and fears as everyone else may have. Ultimately; Nothing about me is hidden from the Lord! I am very independent, I have my own flat, but I need some assistance with every day tasks.
I am posting this in the hope of finding people who understand my situation and will be encouraging, and maybe pray for me. Also I might make some new friendships. There is one thing that I do not need; that is pity. I can do without people feeling sorry for me because that just reduces me to someone of no worth that has to be pitied. Empathy I can handle, but sympathy I can not handle.
Thanks for taking the time to read this long posting and I look forward to reading any comments that you care to leave.
Yours sincerely in the Name of Jesus,
Steve.
You may think I have every reason to be angry and bitter with the world and any God who made it. After all how can someone who appears to have so many difficulties in life believe in a just and loving God? Well, let me tell you a bit about myself, what I believe, and why I believe it.
I was born in Birmingham. I was brought up in a loving non-Christian family. I went to a special school in Birmingham, where I became the "star" pupil due to my uses of new technology (computers were very new back then in 1979). I left school aged nineteen with five CSEs and three 'O' levels. I went straight on to a college in Coventry. This was a residential college for physically disabled students. I had a fantastic three years there and took three more 'O' levels, two 'A' levels, and a GCSE. I then came to Nottingham to do a three year sandwich course at Trent Polytechnic, which equipped me with a Higher National Diploma in Computer Studies. I spent my industrial placement year in the Computer Division at County Hall and this lead to a permanent job. I worked for the local Council in full time employment for 14 years as a computer analyst / programmer, however, I had to retire from full-time paid work in 2005 as it became too much to physically manage on top of my disability. I now try to keep busy through voluntary work. As you can see, although I am disabled, I have achieved an awful lot. More than I would have dared to dream of in my mid teens.
I didn't become a Christian until I was 22 years old. Before then I thought people who went to church were weird, dull, and gullible. But looking back I actually knew very little about the Christian faith and thought Jesus was a made up character, invented to teach good morals. I was very anti-god because of my assumptions about Christian people and I didn't consider God as a real possibility.
However, when I started at college, I met someone and we became very good friends. I knew he went to church, so we had discussions about Christianity and I asked all the usual awkward questions. He eventually persuaded me to go with him to a Sunday morning service. I went out of curiosity, besides, it gave me something to do. To my surprise I actually enjoyed the service despite finding some things quite strange, and I needed little encouragement to go again.
After some weeks of hearing the word of God, I found that the more I heard, the more it made sense to me. As time went on, my faith grew. I could also see where God had been in my life in the past, but I did not know him at that time. I cannot put an exact date on when I became a Christian, but I knew that I could never be right with God, unless I accepted that I was a sinner in God's eyes and by my own doing I could never reach God's standards. I knew that I needed to ask Jesus into my life, and to accept that Jesus was nailed to the cross and crucified, to pay the price for my sins and to clothe me in Jesus' righteousness before God. Once I did this I knew from then on, the Father loves me and that no one can take this away from me!
I was disabled before I came to know the Lord and I am still disabled today, but I still trust in God's purposes and promises to me. Some people might say, "Why me? Why did I end up being disabled?" I say, "Why not me?" Someone has to be the one person in a thousand to have Cerebral Palsy, so why not me? You see, I believe we live in a fallen world and ultimately that is why I am disabled, but God has saved me, is with me day by day, and will take me home to be with him one day! I believe God has a purpose for my life and can use me just as I am and put me in situations that no one else could do. I do not see any conflict between being disabled and being a Christian; in fact I do not know how I managed to cope without the knowledge of the existence of a loving and caring God.
You see without God what is the purpose of our existence? I once heard someone say, "We're born, life is a bummer, then we die". If this is the best we can hope for? Then I think I might throw myself under a bus and avoid the 'bummer' part of life. However, with God there is so much more to live for and so much to look forward to in the future, i.e. Heaven. Once we accept Jesus as our one and only saviour, we receive so many promises from God.
I guess this gives you some idea of my background and core values. I have to confess at this point that I am struggling with the issue of singleness and I long for intimacy and physical contact. Ultimately, I am looking for that special soul mate and companion, someone to share lifes highs and lows with.
Some people in my position would try to hide their disability in order to gain immediate acceptance, but for me that would go against all my principals of honesty and trustworthiness. I have Cerebral Palsy and outwardly, my body may not be the norm, but inwardly, I have the same needs, hopes, desires, and fears as everyone else may have. Ultimately; Nothing about me is hidden from the Lord! I am very independent, I have my own flat, but I need some assistance with every day tasks.
I am posting this in the hope of finding people who understand my situation and will be encouraging, and maybe pray for me. Also I might make some new friendships. There is one thing that I do not need; that is pity. I can do without people feeling sorry for me because that just reduces me to someone of no worth that has to be pitied. Empathy I can handle, but sympathy I can not handle.
Thanks for taking the time to read this long posting and I look forward to reading any comments that you care to leave.
Yours sincerely in the Name of Jesus,
Steve.