HELP!my husband is really not who I thought he was

Endeavourer said:

Glad to hear the updates as it seems things are going well for you. For your BIL, not so much.

However, if you can stay gracious and allow the fruits of the Spirit to work their way out during your stay there perhaps that might minister to him. It's very hard to do this during a crisis when you are being attacked.

SO VERY GLAD the judge has restricted visitation for now since your stbX is acting out this way. Generally this type of behavior is a getting-even or lashing out kind of behavior to manipulate and control you and not a genuine desire to see his son. Fathers who want the good of their children don't stage scenes against their sanctuary or mothers like this. Those fathers act quite differently, even if they are in the right and the mom is in the wrong.

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I had to move out of my sister in law's house. There is just too much I just can't ignore living there. Again, they were very gracious for taking me in and defending me as they did but their home is no place to raise a special needs child.
The longer we stayed there, the more my child became enamored with their life style. Whenever I told him to do something or corrected his behavior he would say that his uncle didn't make his cousin do that. The breaking point came when my niece received a ticket and got suspended for fighting in school. Instead of punishing her, her dad took both her and my son to Dave and Buster's to "celebrate". I only found out about this after I got home from my retail shift. That's when I told them that I appreciated their hospitality but I had to move out.
Now I am in sort of a darned if I do darned if I don't situation. My son constantly asks when we could move back in with his cousin, why the food we eat now doesn't taste as good as the food we ate there, and why does he go to child care instead of being watched by his cousin after school.