Well, I've got High Functioning Autism here. Really high functioning. When I was 2 1/2 I was diagnosed by the same doctor who invented timeout. I was echolalic (sp?), had delayed speach development, and many other eccentricities. Although I couldn't speak many words, I was a good general communicator, and was an absolute lego wizard.
Shockingly enough, I have been immersed in normal society, and have been for quite a while. I had very good teachers and was able to learn ways to cope and counteract my autism at the root. I actually still hand flap when no one's around, but I come off as totally normal to most people. I'm not quite sure why I've had so much luck. Sure, I have my social quirks, but if I'm in a setting I like, I get along quite well with others.
I don't know if I've had the exact same problems as you, but I've had problems like those. With me, I have to watch how hyper I get when I handflap or my body will get temporarily adrenalized, and I will have bone chilling panic attacks, where I actually feel like my body is full of burning acid and that I'm dying. I've noticed that it's good for me to generally do everything in my power to keep myself calm and not over stimulated. Caffeine and sugar are very bad for my senses, so I often stay away from one or both. Getting tons of sleep has helped me a lot as well. I don't like neon lights in stores at all, but after staying in a store for a while I eventually get used to it. As far as raves and rock concerts, I have been absolutely neurotic, and I have to watch what I do. Listening to loud music is really bad for my senses, so I usually find that I get the same fun effect with the music down almost all the way, and for rock concerts and raves, you can get musicians ear plugs. They cost about 150 dollars to get custom made, but they're worth every penny. They retain the original sound quality, but just reduce the decibels significantly, like maybe 60 dB. Right now I'm working in a really quiet place on my own, over at a black and veatch mailroom. I don't do much in this job, but it is quiet. Quieter than a library.
Believe it or not, holding conversations is an art that a lot of people have to learn, not just AS and HFA types. There's a book by David D. Burns called Intimate Connections, I believe. It helps quite a bit with positive information exchange with people and keeping both sides of the conversation going. You might check it out. You can rotely memorize how to do talk to people, and no one will know you have social problems if you're good enough. They might just think you're a little shy.
Also, hanging out with groups of people who share the same hobbies as you is good, especially if you know what you're talking about. If you're really good with computers (for example), but a bit eccentric, people are often more willing to overlook your strangeness if you know what you're doing and can provide good information.
It's probably not a bad idea to keep jokes or gestures on hand when awkward things happen around you. Like say, you almost smash someone behind a door, or you don't know what to say to someone in the elevator, have a joke memorized, or just a funny observation at hand. People often forget how awkward you initially looked if you break the silence with something funny, even corny. As autistic as I can be, I've still keep noticing that other people that aren't HFA can be quite nervous or shy as me, if not worse. My disadvantage is mainly in how much time it takes me to understand a joke, but it's not the end of the world. I often get a feel for the kind of people I'm talking to to see if they joke more often than not so I'm ready for them when they pull a joke. I've even known when a joke was coming before many neurotypicals saw it, but it takes preparation, like figuring out how to get a really slow civic into traffic during rush hour with a busy intersection nearby. It takes planning, but it is rewarding. Maybe even watch a bunch of funny comedians and keep yourself refreshed so your sense of humor doesn't become dull. I've had people treat me like a useless blob of flesh until I proved to their brain that I was human by telling them a funny observation ,for example. You can even learn how to have good reactions in general, in real time, but it's like learning a new language.
Please excuse spelling errors, I'm trying to make as much sense as I can but I only got 3 hours of sleep last night, I'm sure I'll think of more things.