• The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.

    If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.

    If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day.

    Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist

  • Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

  • CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
  • We hope the site problems here are now solved, however, if you still have any issues, please start a ticket in Contact Us

  • The rule regarding AI content has been updated. The rule now rules as follows:

    Be sure to credit AI when copying and pasting AI sources. Link to the site of the AI search, just like linking to an article.

bethrow

Veteran
Sep 8, 2006
3,539
276
✟27,537.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I don't know if it's really called a sexual assault, but I feel that I was taken advantage of and molested.

My neighbor was a great man who was very helpful to my family. I adored him and thought of him as a grandfather. Little did I know he was a predator and a stalker.
As I hit puberty he started taking notice of me and always telling me how pretty I look...that I looked like my mother. I know this man lusted after my mother and she could barely go into the backyard to do any gardening because he'd always basically corner her to talk to her. My dad thought it was hilarious...haha whatever.
When I was 14. I was in the backyard and I was working on routines for the next upcoming band competition. I was in the flag corp. I was upset and crying because some of the girls in the corp were really mean to me. I told him about it and expected a listening ear. He asked me to get into his truck so we could talk. I got in and he grabbed me and pulled me to him and he kissed me on the mouth and put his hands on me. I couldn't believe what was happening and I just jumped out of the car never to tell anyone about it.
Over the next two years this man stalked me. I remember looking out my brother's bedroom window that looked directly into their yard and at their backdoor. That man used to stand inside his house watching for me to come out. I always thought it was weird that whenever I'd come outside he'd come out and sit on his back steps. If I rode my back through his yard to my friends and didn't stop to say hello he'd wonder why and ask me if I was mad at him. We were friends and friends always stop to talk to each other blah blah blah. Typical pedophile talk.
After two years and him touching me I finally told my mom and dad. My dad wasn't laughing this time. He told him to leave me alone or else he'd do something about it. The neighbor told him he didn't know what he'd done or why I would have said those things.
After 40 years of living in that house that man and his wife moved across town.
He'd come into my work knowing I'd be there by myself and ask me why I was mad at him basically trying to convince me that it was all in my head. He was disgusting. I hated him!!! His wife couldn't understand why I would never talk to him. She was a clueless woman.
The most horrible thing that happened was in 1993 at my grandmother's funeral. He and his wife came to the funeral and I was forced to hug him. He hugs me and whispers in my ear that he'd been wanting to hold me like that for so long! Why couldn't he have just said,"I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother, you ok?" No...he feeds me this crap about wanting to hold me. This was right in front of his wife too....the nerve of him and such guts.
This man died in 1997 of cancer and I hope that he repented. I've had trouble forgiving him for what he did to me.
The worst thing for me right now is that his daughter met with my mother a few days ago and told her she wanted to stop by and have my mom tell her everything she remembered about her mom and dad.
My mom said,"I want for you to make a list of some things." Crap! I can't think of anything because most of that time he was chasing after me.
I don't have anything good to say about him. NOTHING!
What makes me sick is his daughter, his grandchildren think he was so special and wonderful. I feel like writing her a letter and telling her what a terrible man he was, but I know it would only hurt her and I always liked Janet....so I won't.
So...I guess I've been through it. Not raped, but molested physically and emotionally.
It still makes me angry because he denied it and never apologized for what he did.
 

3girls2dogs

Catholic
Aug 15, 2005
14,755
572
56
Arizona
✟40,188.00
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
I think it is imperative that you not be forced into coming up with good things to say if you are not comfortable with it. I am so sorry that you had to go through all of that. I can't imagine how awful it must have been.

I am praying for you, and for his family, as they are victims of his as well.

Tell your mother that you would like to be released from any obligations in regards to meeting with his family if you feel you are not ready. Also, have you received any outside support in regards to this?

 
Upvote 0

bethrow

Veteran
Sep 8, 2006
3,539
276
✟27,537.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
My mother has never realized the serverity(sp?) of it all.
She knows he was a perverted type of man, but I don't think she understands how much it affected me.
Get this....after that man and his wife moved...he sold his house to his nephew. He moved in there with his wife and lived there a good 10 years before his wife left him because he had an affair and around the same time their daughter told her that he'd molested her for years.
I guess it runs in the family. They are all nuts.

I am overseas so I'll never have to see that family ever again if I don't have to. My mom hopes that the daughter will never actually come over. I hope that too cause I don't plan on writing anything down. My mom has nothing good to write either.

I've never really been to counseling.
 
Upvote 0