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kbean

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Ug...I have a problem with a dear Christian girlfriend of mine who loves the Lord. She has witnessed to me in so many valuable ways and encourages my growth as a Christian whole heartedly...
but there is one problem I have. (this is not gossip I am asking for real advice my only reason for posting). She is a hopeless gossip.
I am constantly being 'informed' by her, of others personal details, problems, and her opinions about them (it's crazy because she knows her bible so well and lives so passionately for God and has since whe was a little girl, much longer than me). She judges and talks about others relentlessly.
It's awkward becasue then I have to see and deal with these people, knowing intimate details about their lives, sins etc. that I shouldn't know, but I do know thanks to my gossipy friend.
How do I very nicely let her know that she is in sin when she does this? She has always been a Christian and I am not as far along in my walk as her, so how do I justify trying to correct her? I don't like to hear it at all and currently my way to deal with it is to change the subject real quick. It really is like an addiction for her though...and she even uses scripture to back up how she 'knows' someone else is sinning when she is gossiping about it.
I also don't like it that I am sure if she gossips so easily about others, then I am likely a subject in her gossip as well.
You have to know that our friendship outside of that is beaming and glowing and blessed! We are like sisters and my wish is not to stop being around her, but to stop this happening without hurting our friendship. I am not great at this sort of thing and usually just keep my complaints to myself.
Can someone tell me what they would do, and what the bible says about gossip and not minding other people's business? Thanks.
 

HumbleBee

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hugggggggggs kbean, you in a tight spot :o

Here are some Scriptures to arm you in this battle...


Proverbs 11:13A talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter.


Proverbs 16:28 A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.

Proverbs 18:8The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts.


Proverbs 20:19A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.

Proverbs 26:20 Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.

Matthew 7:12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. (How would she like it if someone was going around jibberjabbering about her secret sins?)

Luke 6:37 Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned.

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you, that you may walk properly toward those who are outside, and that you may lack nothing.

1 Timothy 5:13 Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to.


 
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bliz

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1. There is no seniority in the Kingdom of God. It does not matter how long we have been Christians; we all have things to learn from each other.

2. Next time she starts in on gossip, and the two of you are alone, stop her and say something to the effect of: "I wish you wouldn't talk about other people like this becasue I am so tempted to gossip and I really need your help to steer clear of doing that." I am assuming tht you do not wish to be caught up in that sin... and most of us find it very tempting to gossip once someone else has started to do it, so I think it is an honest statement, without you having to say "You are sinning by gossiping!"

If this leads to a discussion, and she asks you, of course, you need to very gently say "You are my sister in CHrist and I love you and yes, I think that you gossip." (NOte: the word "but" is never used!)

She knows what God's word says, and your request for help will probably serve as a gentle reminder.
 
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kbean

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Humblebee you got me thinking and now I have a great idea...
My friend knows I am always studying new topics to further my knowledge of the Word and how to conform to Christ...
I will do my own personal study on gossip (it's good for everyone to learn about) and simply invite her to join me on studying the scriptures about it. I have heaps of notebooks I've written on various subjects like repentance, faith, the great commission etc.. .. this will just add to my studies! And will have the added benefit of shedding some light on the subject of gossip in a big way, but whithout offending!
TY for helping me to that idea!
 
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Vollkommen Warrior

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This is very helpful scripture. I think I may have done this also on some occasions but never thought I did! :o Thanks for posting this thread kbean.
 
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HumbleBee

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Nod nod don't wanna offend such a good friend! Been said if you gotta correct someone to sandwich them, meaning really encouraging them about something they do well, then correct them where they off target, and then encourage them again! Correcting can be done without the other even feel like they been. Scriptures say to do so humbly, gently, and with respect. God gives friends for accountability...for growth...to spur one another on toward love and good deeds...as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Just like the previous poster, maybe your friend doesn't realize she gossips. Thinking she will clue in tho that this study isn't just for your benefit. Pray first that God convicts her...she might take correction better from God than from you...pray that she suggest you two do a Bible study on gossip...then you can wow her with the verses you already know about.
 
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kbean

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Sure that sounds like a great plan. The scriptures you cited gave me a great head start! I had a gossip habit as a teenager, long time ago now but I remember it well and am so glad it is one sin I learned how to turn away from early. I am not perfect, but am amazed how much people do gossip as adults, since I grew out of it. you are right, mabye it's one of thouse sins people maybe don't even realise when they are doing it somehow, I also think it's one of those sins that one sinner can easily tempt another to do unfortunately and it becomes a big mess.
 
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TheMainException

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Tell her that by telling you all this stuff about others, it is actually hurting your other relationships, not to mention that she is sinning against God in a major way by talking about these people. Tell her that, let her know of her sin. She will be hurt, but the truth hurts. And if she doesn't stop, tell her that you can't hang out with her if all she does is gossip.
 
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