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Going through the motions

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Dave's Tammy

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Hi! I'm new to the site. Lost my husband two days before our 15th wedding anniversary. Until now I've been numb. My husband was continuously ill for the past 13 years, but always pulled through. I'm grateful that he left me with two beautiful boys, but they're not him. I feel so alone and confused. I am struggling because I don't understand. I know that God love's us, but why did he give us free will if he knew we were going to be bad to make his son suffer the way he did. In turn we have to suffer because people we love die. I know that is probably bad to think that way, but it is how I feel. I'm tired of being sad . Anybody feel that way or have worked through feeling that way?
 

NoelAsa

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I am so sorry about your loss. I lost my husband almost four years ago. I was devastated and was having a very difficult time. I received grief counseling with Hospice. It help me so much to be around other people who had been through what I was going through. The care and compassion was a great comfort to me.

Yes, I did feel numb for quite a while. That is normal after having had a loved one die. Your life is now so totally different from before and will be forever changed. I felt it was never going to get better, but it does. There is no set time table as to when you will start to recover from the grief. It is a different process for everyone. The grief never really goes away completely, but becomes less and more tolerable.

You really do need to get into some sort of grief counseling. I used Hospice because my husband was with them at the end of his life. Their counseling is free and they do have separate counseling for children. If you are not comfortable with Hospice many churches now offer counseling. You do not necessarily have to belong to that particular church that is offering the counseling. Please check into your area to see what is available. You will find that it will help you and your family greatly.

Praying for you and your family.
 
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WarmTribute

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Hi, I just wanted to add that losing a loved one never fully heals, but I do believe we get stronger from the experience. And as NoelAsa said, there is no set timeline for recovery, but just know it does get easier.

Warm regards,
Fleming
Warm Tribute Online Memorials
WarmTribute.com
 
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