God is Good

I realize that I need to be more positive and encouraging in my dark time. I love the joy that the praise music and the Holy Bible brings me everyday. I realize that it is the Holy Spirit in my life daily leading me as people see the Holy Spirit in my life. I struggle with mental health issues and I need be trusting of Family, Friends, and my Church. The Mark of the Beast isn't out yet and I need to realize that and I see the doctor Wednesday.

Today has been a normal day so far I keep looking up to the sky hoping Jesus takes me to Heaven soon. He is holy and he loves me and I go to Awana and they cheered for me they truly care my dad says my love is proof that I am a Christian and today I heard a message that said that Satan can't move around to a believer with God's hedge of protection on a believer he had to ask to go Job he couldn't just jump Job with a light and confuse him into losing his salvation.

I realize that I can praise the Lord until he returns and that it is just my OCD Scrupulosity, Pandas, Autism, and Paranoid Schizophrenia. I am not really and truly emitting anything from my knuckles my brain is playing tricks on me. Satan can't trick a believer out of salvation in a hallucination. I have to trust God's character on this front the very fact nothing from this hallucination has come true is proof it isn't real and we will all be here Wednesday when I go to the Doctor.

I am going to be okay a great family friend is here that loves the Lord and my Mom and Dad do and they are still here. I just love the Lord so much and that is why I need to relax in his presence the sun isn't really angry at me and God isn't. I am not condemned to hell and I didn't blaspheme the Holy Spirit as that sin can't be committed today and as a Christian can't blaspheme the Holy Spirit so I can't be evil. God would not allow his child to be snatched away in a dream. I had a dream while I was awake but it wasn't a miracle and I didn't verbally speak against the Holy Spirit and God knows that when it comes to the Lamb's Book of Life. Jesus knows my heart.

I am going to use this forum now on to post positive and uplifting things no one can take anything in a hallucination and Dad said last night you can't preorder the Mark on Amazon it isn't out yet my brain is playing tricks on me telling me I have something not in existence yet Jesus never talks about yellow lights/crosses or blue spheres it makes me realize it isn't really and truly real what I type is real the food I am smelling right now is real the breakfast and the special time on Dad's birthday is real. The message on the way there about Job was real and last night from Greg Laurie. I have to realize that the blue light/yellow light is a delusion and not salvation if it isn't in the Holy Bible or talked about by Jesus and from John in Revelation it isn't real. If I didn't have the Holy Spirit Worship Music wouldn't bring comfort and the Holy Bible wouldn't comfort. I would stop caring about sin and I still feel conviction and guilt about sinning.

I have to get it in my mind that Satan is not going to use a mentally ill person to rule the world it is scitzphrenia and like the one person who encouraged let me know that blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is not an errant thought or dream and it was a dream in front of me and God's not going to prevent the rapture because I had a dream in the shower. He didn't erase my name because I dreamed about a light in front of me and to the door and that I bowed he forgives and he loves people have done far worse things than what I have done and God's still loves them Paul murdered Christians and was forgiven for it.

I asked Jesus in my heart when I was four and I was baptized when I was eight years old and Jesus promised to never leave or forsake and that is the real word inspired by the Holy Spirit I have nothing to fear. The bible says to speak good things about Jesus is proof of the Holy Spirit and without the Holy Spirit you curse the Holy Spirit and the fact I freely confess Jesus as the Savior and Lord is proof that isn't real and it is an illness and thank everyone for their support and prayers.

I love listening to praise music and listening to my Electronic Bible at night and I need to stick with reality and truth Psychosis and OCD is a tough combo as I am already in fear of blasphemy but my friends, family, and church say that is proof the Holy Spirit is in me. My pastor told me he sees the Fruit of the Holy Spirit in my life and that I am eternally secure so come Lord Jesus Come today and rescue me from my torment and illness. Everyone who knows me knows I love God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit why I can't feel like it I once did I am not sure but it is a brain disorder and they know in the right mind that I would never blasphemy and Jesus isn't going to hold a mentally ill person responsible for an accident and I need trust him.

I need to realize that the real Mark is a chip or identification number not something that comes from a hallucination. Revelation doesn't speak about a yellow light that turns someone into a false prophet nor does Jesus which means it isn't real and the blue sphere/yellow light is a illness and I need to focus and distract myself with other things that are positive. I have always tried to avoid dark satanic stuff in my life and I realize that I opened myself reading for Austin but God isn't going to kick me out of Heaven for reading some satanic screenplays and some that maybe blasphemed the Holy Spirit.

God is doing something my friend said this is a testimony in the making for Jesus and he is YWAM. John 10 states once someone is a believer nothing can snatch them away from Jesus and I need to trust truth God knows my heart and I choose to focus on positive things until he returns for me as Aussie Pete said no one can force the Mark and it can't be done in a hallucination as it isn't in the Holy Bible. Jesus would have warned about in the Bible the fact every Christian is still on the Earth is proof the Holy Spirit is truly indwelling inside me and not Satan in reality.

I promise from now on to be positive and encouraging my cousin says Micah your too loving and encouraging to be a false prophet Micah and she works with mentally ill people and she knows that I am struggling with fear but I know the truth of the word of God and it fuels me and drives me to keep going everyday!

Tone said:

LOL ...good stuff!

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My Dad is funny and encouraging that it is just a mental illness and my soul at stake. So far nothing I have worried about or thought about has even come true the blue light/yellow light has done nothing so far and I am still praising the Lord the same and my illness hasn't changed my heart to how I feel about the Lord I love him and he loves me. Why God allowed me to get sick I don't know but there is sin in the world. God isn't going to let me take the Mark of the Beast in a dream that isn't God's Character and I need to trust that truth. I need to understand God is more loving and that he is bigger than psychosis and scitzphrenia. If what I was facing was real and reality based why is it not in the Holy Bible and I keep reminding myself of that truth. The Holy Bible, Praise Music is real not a yellow light/blue light there is nothing in the Bible to support a yellow light being a Mark and preventing the rapture that I have found there is no passage that a dream snatches you from Jesus the Bible clearly states once someone is saved they are saved Jesus lays it out clearly about eternal security I am about to hang out with another good friend who loves the lord.